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50/50 Care - Benefits, maintenance etc

Ex wife and I are arranging access as I will be moving out of the family home soon.

I want 50/50 which she hasnt agreed to but practically how does it work? Who get the child maintenance? She earns too much for tax credits but she does get tax free childcare, I have a low income so I could get tax credits or Universal Credit.

Also, what if she refuses 50/50? What happens while we are going through the court process? Do I have to follow what she says or can I dictate when I see my son?
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Comments

  • Pinkman78
    Pinkman78 Posts: 12 Forumite
    Third Anniversary First Post
    Sorry I meant who gets the child benefit? She currently gets it.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Pinkman78 said:
    Sorry I meant who gets the child benefit? She currently gets it.
    The person who is the main carer.
  • Pinkman78
    Pinkman78 Posts: 12 Forumite
    Third Anniversary First Post
    Mojisola said:
    Pinkman78 said:
    Sorry I meant who gets the child benefit? She currently gets it.
    The person who is the main carer.

    Who decides who is the main carer?
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Pinkman78 said:
    Who decides who is the main carer?
    Who has the children more, which address are the children registered at for school, GP, etc.
    The parents decide between themselves whether one has the most care or whether it's split 50/50.
    It sounds as if it would be worth you becoming the main carer.
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 47,359 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    If it's just one child, the simplest thing would be to leave it with her, but perhaps factor it into any maintenance calculations. 

    If it's two children, you can claim for more than one and leave the other with her. Problems kick in when you have an odd number of children (ie not an even number). 
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • Pinkman78
    Pinkman78 Posts: 12 Forumite
    Third Anniversary First Post
    It is one child. Currently GP, school etc is all registered to the family home but once I move out he will have two homes, not one like she seems to think. She keeps saying things like "he should be at home on schol nights".
    I want 50/50 but she is refusing and wants alternate weekends plus an overnight in the week. If we have equal responsibility then why should everything automatically go her way just because she is the mother and because everything is already registered to our home address?
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,571 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Pinkman78 said:
    It is one child. Currently GP, school etc is all registered to the family home but once I move out he will have two homes, not one like she seems to think.
    Why don't you stay in the family home with your child and the mother move out and have the time slots she is suggesting?
  • Pinkman78
    Pinkman78 Posts: 12 Forumite
    Third Anniversary First Post
    We have already made a financial agreement which involves her buying me out.
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 47,359 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    One thing that's worth saying is that whatever works for you and your child now may not work forever as they grow up. 

    I'd be surprised if you can arrange a true 50/50, and it's not necessarily in the child's interests that you should try to do so: arguing over every last hour / night / school pick up or drop off / weekend becomes exhausting. 

    What is your plan, one week each? Or something more complicated?
    Signature removed for peace of mind
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