Money Moral Dilemma: Can we uninvite guests to our rescheduled wedding?

MSE_Sarah

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

I'm re-planning my wedding after having to postpone it three times due to the pandemic. Some important guests who originally couldn't attend now can. But we'd already invited other people in their place, and the guest list is starting to look pretty long. We're beginning to have a change of heart over spending that much money.

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JGB1955

Of course you can 'un-invite' them - just don't tell them when the event is... sorted!

Bulldog1

Why not? There could still be number restrictions. My niece was married last year and lots of us were uninvited due to this very reason.

gothvixen

Blame one of the venues if you like, but after the tumult of the last year people aren't surprised by anything now. This is 4th time lucky, just explain that you're very sorry but now it's finally happening you've had to change the number of guests. If it were me, anyone who caused a fuss is someone I couldn't be bothered with anyway. We're all tired and fed up, and making allowances about your wedding when over 125,000 have died is not a big deal. I'm happy for you that you've both survived and finally get to be married, nothing but very best wishes from me!

Marcon

Which matters more to you: an expensive wedding with elaborate food, drink, flowers etc, or a cheaper venue and meal, giving you the chance to celebrate with many more friends?

REJP

I agree with Marcon.  You don't want people thinking they were second choices.
Look on the bright side, more guests means more gifts that you can Ebay.

meknowalot-51

Not once in your message have you mentioned the words friends or family,so i'm assuming they are already in the list.If that's the case then just stick with those for the main event and if the wedding's after lockdown has finished (june 21,i hope) then everyone else for the evening party.No one's going to mind as it's your day and they will accept your decision.If they don't like it,.......why worry?

psmth2005

I would say no. No one wants to feel like they are second best.

tain

Ouch. This is a tough choice.

Can you make anyone evening guests?

I know it's not honest, but I'd totally blame it on external factors. The change in date was more expensive, you lost money due to covid, the venue has changed the rules, etc. 

GDB2222

One way out is to change to a tiny wedding, with just a handful of people (literally). People won’t mind so much being uninvited if virtually everyone else is also being uninvited. However, telling Cousin Arthur that he can’t come because you prefer to invite Cousin John is really going to cause some upset.

Or just make everything cheaper so you can afford to have loads more people.

It is going to be a special occasion because of your commitment to your other half, and absolutely nothing else matters. So, don’t overspend, as money worries are a major cause of marital breakdown. The less you spend on the wedding, the greater the chance of the marriage lasting. 

akbrooker

The people who could not come on the original date should expect that you will have invited others.  If I were one of those original people, I would - I hope -not expect you to uninvite my replacement!

So no, you cannot uninvite people.  How rude and inconsiderate, and how inconstant it will make you look...