Paid £11,000 over 4 years turns out i'm not the father, what can I do?

Poshsalt

Thanks for all the replies.

Getting back to the subject line, he never signed anything, I've contacted solicitors which all say it will cost £2-3k before going to court and there not interested. So at moment we trying to get this birth certificate to see if it was forged and going to citizen advice.

wannabe_a_saver

Pollycat said:

wannabe_a_saver said:

Pollycat said:

Did he actually say 'they aren’t his kids' in so many words?

Did he actually say he 'wishes he hadn’t had to bring them up'?

I think wanting the money back that he contributed to their upbringing sends that message quite strongly. 

So that will be a 'no' then...

That's very literal and very black and white way of looking at it, but we all know family relationships don't work like that. 

ZaSa1418

Poshsalt said:

Thanks for all the replies.

Getting back to the subject line, he never signed anything, I've contacted solicitors which all say it will cost £2-3k before going to court and there not interested. So at moment we trying to get this birth certificate to see if it was forged and going to citizen advice.

He might not necessarily need a solicitor. 
There are a few steps he can take before this including requesting all the information they hold about him by doing a SAR. 
He then needs to go down their official complaint route as they have not followed their correct procedures. Also make sure all communication is in writing and make sure they are sent as 'signed for' 
What have they said about him proving he is not the father and maintenance going forward? 

justworriedabit

Poshsalt said:

Thanks for all the replies.

Getting back to the subject line, he never signed anything, I've contacted solicitors which all say it will cost £2-3k before going to court and there not interested. So at moment we trying to get this birth certificate to see if it was forged and going to citizen advice.

Dear Poshsalt, as you may have noted there are many nice, helpful people/posters here that will genuinely try to help 
Whatever you do, I sincerely hope it works out for you.

Poshsalt

Just a quick update.

CMS contacted the non biogical father and refunded for the DNA test, but refused to give the certificate. Asking why would he be the father if he didnt sign the certificate, they said if he couldnt prove it wasnt then he automatically is, he's polish and doesnt understand when this first all happened. They said they can only back date payments till January 2021 when he requested the DNA test. All the solicitors who we have spoken to say they want at least £3k before starting the case then there be more fees. An she is appealing the DNA test. I think the next thing to do is Citizen advice but I dawt he will get anything back now.

ZaSa1418

Poshsalt said:

Just a quick update.

CMS contacted the non biogical father and refunded for the DNA test, but refused to give the certificate. Asking why would he be the father if he didnt sign the certificate, they said if he couldnt prove it wasnt then he automatically is, he's polish and doesnt understand when this first all happened. They said they can only back date payments till January 2021 when he requested the DNA test. All the solicitors who we have spoken to say they want at least £3k before starting the case then there be more fees. An she is appealing the DNA test. I think the next thing to do is Citizen advice but I dawt he will get anything back now.

The non bio father needs to ask for a subject access request so he can see everything relating to this case. Has he had letters over the years from them? Did he get a letter at the start where he could have denied parentage? 

Pollycat

wannabe_a_saver said:

That's very literal and very black and white way of looking at it, but we all know family relationships don't work like that. 

If he didn't say it, it's unfair of you to attribute those words to him.

74jax

If the mother is appealing the DNA test, could it be wrong? 

Surely if she knows the child isn't his, she wouldn't push for another.  

Maybe it was wrong? 

wannabe_a_saver

Pollycat said:

wannabe_a_saver said:

That's very literal and very black and white way of looking at it, but we all know family relationships don't work like that. 

If he didn't say it, it's unfair of you to attribute those words to him.

I was merely suggesting how it would feel to the children who thought he was their dad.

justworriedabit

wannabe_a_saver said:

Pollycat said:

wannabe_a_saver said:

That's very literal and very black and white way of looking at it, but we all know family relationships don't work like that. 

If he didn't say it, it's unfair of you to attribute those words to him.

I was merely suggesting how it would feel to the children who thought he was their dad.

Exactly as I understood it.