Ex refusing to sell the house - child with me. Advice please!

TBagpuss

HampshireH said:

You had no need to pay child maintenance when you have a child each. Simply you can't afford a place of your own - that cash could have gone towards that.

That's not necessarily correct, as if the parents incomes are different then it may be that one would still be paying the other ,if the amounts that each has to pay is different. It is of course often accepted by parents that it is reasonable for there to be no maintenance payable where one child lives with each parent.
Where you have shared care, with a single child splitting their time equally between both parents, there would normally not be any maintenance payable, but it isn't  automatically the case where there are two children. (No, it's not logical!)

sassyblue

Only pay the mortgage from now on and tell her those payments are your contribution towards child support. You are keeping a roof over your 18 year olds head.

the trouble with letting her get away with things is that you’re making a rod for your own back. If she knows you won’t use a solicitor she will do what she wants. IMO it’s far better to use a Solicitor and be proactive towards resolving the situation, that way she knows you won’t put up with any nonsense.

happy_penguin7

Thanks all. Solicitor appointment booked for Monday. Has anybody been through anything like this who can give me an idea of timescales?

justworriedabit

happy_penguin7 said:

Thanks all. Solicitor appointment booked for Monday. Has anybody been through anything like this who can give me an idea of timescales?

IMHO, it's only a couple of days now and the best and most accurate answers you will get are from the people you are seeing.
Take care and I hope it all works out for you.

Clearchem

Solicitors are likely to cost a fair amount. Around £300 and £400 an hour. No legal aid normally available. What value for vast money are you getting?

You don't actually need one. Look to a Mckenzie friend for much more cost effective support 30 to 40 £ an hour - do an Internet search for some. Use websites for help. Use a direct access barrister for final hearings. If you really have no money for rent you may have to let the house go. Rent before you stop paying so your credit check is OK. But remember it will be tough for 6 years. Court process likely to be around 8 months to a year. 

Have you tried mediation? Might get  you to a final order faster. But always have a final order. Without one you have unlimited future liability for your ex to claim against you.

You are paying maintenance and she is not. This is inappropriate. Don't wait. Ask her to pay via a private arrangement, if no dice make a claim. Do not wait until your son is 19 or 20 (liability does not stop at 18). You need help for your daughter and son when he visits if he does.

CustardApple

I went through something like this with an ex - not married and no children

It took a while and he was real nasty. I had to give him ore than he was entitled to and even then he was not happy

If I were in your shoes, even though your daughter does not want to return to the house, I would.  For one, this would stop your ex from bringing someone else into the house and making things a lot harder

The last thing you need right now is for a boyfriend to move in.  Don't for one minute think that this won't happen.

Vindictiveness have no boundaries and it will be hell all the way for you

I know that you want to help your son, but at 19 he is practically an adult, you need to concentrate on your daughter

It's amazing the energy that people will waste to ensure that their ex goes through hell, instead of having a clean break and move on

You need to get this sorted and you exwife needs to understand that it does not make any sense paying lawyers good money when all it takes is for both of you to sit down and work this out as mature adults - but I won't hold my breath on this one

elsien

This was posted in April last year and OP hasn’t  logged in since last September.
I expect they took any action they were planning a good few months ago now.