think husband spending on dodgy or illegal stuff, how to trace bank transfer

pickledonionspaceraider

I find this a strange thread and struggle to take this at face value.

bap98189

sheramber said:

On my bank account ifI click on 'make a payment' it brings up a list of all the payees I have set up ( unless I have deleted it after making the payment ) including the name on each account.

When I setup a new payee on online banking (Halifax) I enter the sort code and account number. It then tells me the name on the account I am setting up. I presume this is for security so that you don't send money to the wrong place. If the OP gets the sort code and account number and tried this can they find out the account name that way?

Emmia

I think the key question is - are payments from a joint account going to sole accounts in the husband's name? If so the OP has no right to transaction details as she is not an account holder.

TBagpuss

The short answer is that there isn't an easy way to get further information - you can get statements for the joint account to see if there are further details but that's about it.

I thin kyou need to think about what you want to know and why.

For instances your main issues that-

•  he is spending a lot of money from your joint resources
• he may be using drugs or paying for !!!!!! / sex 
• he is lying to you

What is your preferred outcome? 
Suppose you were to find that he was paying for drugs or sex, what would you do? 
If you find that he is channeling money to a secret savings account, what would you do? 
I'm not suggesting that you tell us those answers, but I think it might be useful for you to ask yourself those questions and then decide how to proceed. 

If the bottom line is that you are concerned that he is hiding things/ lying to you, then talking to him may be the way forward. Now because he will necessarily tell you the truth, but because it may help you to decide how to move forward - for instance, do you want to stay married to him if he is doing this behind your back and then lies to you about it when you try to discuss it? 
If it turns out that he is buying drugs or !!!!!!, if he were to admit it would you then be willing to stick with him and work through as a couple why, and how to deal with it?

Etsy mostly sells hand made items and supplies, but this could of course include erotic items. It could also be a way of buying gifts for another person, and the money issues could be his passing money to another person - for instance if he were having an affair, or even if he has found out that he has a child from a previous relationship and is paying support without wanting to tell you.

If he has a history of lying and abuse, perhaps consider whether you actually need to know what he is spending on and think about whether you want to stay in a relationship with him. If you divorce, he will be required to disclose his bank accounts. it won't necessarily mean that you get to find out what he is spending the money on but a court can consider excessive or suspect spending by one party in deciding how to split the remaining assets, so if it is £100,000s then potentially this might result in a court splitting what remains unequally in your favour (and it will be in his interests to provide an explanation, to avoid that) 

gettingtheresometime

Emmia said:

I think the key question is - are payments from a joint account going to sole accounts in the husband's name? If so the OP has no right to transaction details as she is not an account holder.

I understood the transmission of money to be 
Current Joint Current A/C → Husband's Revolt A/C →Old Joint Current A/C →Mystery A/C
If that's correct then the OP certainly can find out some more info quite legitimately.
The procedure around payee details changed a few months back - prior to the change you could set up a payee with the wrong name but with the right details (so as an example you could put the payee's account name as GTS but put an account number etc belonging to Emmia) now everything has to match.

sassyblue

Emmia said:

AskAsk said:

Emmia said:

sassyblue said:

mrsdoubtful said:

If you’re thinking ‘just ask him’, that would be pointless: He has a long previous history of lying, emotional abuse, passive aggressive behaviour. Better that I try to find out as much as possible myself first. Can private detectives do stuff like this? Or forensic accountants?

Thanks in advance.

Did either of you read that paragraph?  Do you really think he’s going to confess everything truthfully?

Far better the OP finds out what she can herself in this instance, she can judge his responses when she confronts him from what she discovers. Only then will she know if she can trust him further.

If the OP doesn't trust her husband to the point she's considering private detectives etc. then it doesn't sound like much of a marriage. 

which is why I think the OP needs to confront her husband and just have it out.  she can still find out what the transactions are, just having the whole thing brought out in the open does not stop her looking further into the transactions.

what is the point of sneaking around behind his back and trying to work out what he is up to without confronting him? it could be something innocent and he will be able to give evidence of what they are, but at least i think this needs to be out in the open.

I completely agree - that's why I suggested talking to him in my first post.

but OP didn’t ask us for opinions on the state of her marriage did she? Plus, it’s none of our business.

Something similar happened to a friend of mine and if she hadn’t obtained proof of the money her husband was squirrelling away I doubt he’d have provided proof.  I’ve worked for a divorce lawyer for years and unless you have proof of accounts with money in you're about stuffed if the other party won’t disclose them.

The quickest (and cheapest) thing to do would be to get this information herself while he is unaware she’s onto him.

burlingtonfl6

If you’re thinking ‘just ask him’, that would be pointless: He has a long previous history of lying, emotional abuse, passive aggressive behaviour. Better that I try to find out as much as possible myself first. Can private detectives do stuff like this? Or forensic accountants?

Why are you still with him?

AskAsk

burlingtonfl6 said:

If you’re thinking ‘just ask him’, that would be pointless: He has a long previous history of lying, emotional abuse, passive aggressive behaviour. Better that I try to find out as much as possible myself first. Can private detectives do stuff like this? Or forensic accountants?

Why are you still with him?

very good question.  the OP has effectively explained that he is a scroundrel and so she wants to investigate what is going on.  it may be better to put her resources into moving out and away from all this. 

if you start talking about private detectives, i think it is about time to say goodbye.

AnotherJoe

mrsdoubtful said:

If you’re thinking ‘just ask him’, that would be pointless: He has a long previous history of lying, emotional abuse, passive aggressive behaviour. Better that I try to find out as much as possible myself first. Can private detectives do stuff like this? Or forensic accountants?

Thanks in advance.

 So whats in this relationship for you with this delightful person ??????

Teapot55

The original poster @mrsdoubtful might want to think about how much money she is putting into the joint account every month. Maybe change the amount to something a lot less (enough to cover each month’s bills but no more?) and pay the rest into an account that only you can access (sole name account)?