Move family in to care for my mother whom lives with dementia

zagubov

I used to work in an elderly care home
I strongly advise you to think again about taking this on.
It's easy to think you'll be able to do this and underestimate how challenging it can be.

in_my_wellies

My mum has Alzheimer's and vascular dementia. She has lived here with me for 3.5 years because she couldn't cope with being alone. As has been said it is hard work.

My concern would be how would your mother cope with building work in her house? I ask this because whilst generally from day to day my mother copes quite well if there is the slightest change to routine she becomes completely confused, disorientated and upset.

A few weeks ago the gas was cut off due to a car accident along the road. The central heating didn't come on and even though I put a heater in her room and lit 2 fires downstairs (open and a wood burner) she became completely distressed, going round the house feeling the radiators, fiddling with them and becoming more and more upset. She refused to get dressed so I couldn't take her out to distract her, refused to eat or drink so she became faint, etc, etc. The heating was back on at 2pm but it took about 2 days for normality to return.  This is just one example.

Please be careful that your mother could cope with the disruption. 

[Deleted User]

I'm another that is going to echo the previous members' replies.
OP, someone with dementia is no longer the person you remember - if not fully now, it will happen and 12 months can see a huge change in someone with it.

At-home caring is utterly draining if only from the aspect of lack of sleep because the dementia patient has no concept of time - meaning, they'll get up during normal sleeping hours and want to start their day - thus reducing the household's sleep pattern and when you've got to get up in 3,4,5 hours time for work it's not funny.

The dementia patient develops new habits and traits all the time and these will, in time, create all sorts of other scenarios ..... they'll let themselves out the front door - possibly unseen, next thing you know you're all out looking for them.

Bathroom/personal habits requirements - more scenarios .....
The list goes on.
There's a reason family's place relatives into care/nursing homes and the abovementioned are just a few - there are lots more.

I see this on a daily basis and whilst a nice thought, to care for parent/spouse at home, it's not sustainable.
First make temporary plans and have contingencies in place for longer term plans.

Rambosmum

I think you should rethink. 

Dementia is often a fast changing landscape - a mild infection can knock people with dementia for 6 and you'll see a rapid decline followed by a period of uncertainty. 
There's no way to know how your mum will cope with building work, but I would suggest quite badly. You also don't know that you'll get the extension finished before her dementia deteriorates, possibly making it all for nothing.

Caring for someone with dementia is a 24 hour job - they can be wandersome, have irregular sleep patterns, require very minimal sleep. It's exhausting. 

Think really really carefully about doing this. 

There are also potential financial considerations should your mum need residential care at somepoint, and unless you could pay her bill, the house could need to be sold and then you would need to move again. 

Do you have kids? How old are they?

Proofread100

Please don't try to go down this route. As others have said, building an extension would be probably the worst thing to do. It is incredibly disruotive at a time when your mum will need fsmiliar things and people around her. Not the noise, dirt, strangers etc that come with many months of building an extension. 
Research a bit on The Alzheimer's Society and Dementia UK. 
I believe from the language you have used, that you have already become a Dementia Friend so that is a good start.