Can I claim child maintenance now?

ZaSa1418

BigMac79 said:

ZaSa1418 said:

BigMac79 said:

No she’s not struggling, financially she’s fine but he can’t get away with not contributing financially towards his child’s upkeep. He’s avoided it for the best part of a year now. 

but he will argue he is paying for his childs upkeep as he is paying half the living costs at the moment. If he still won't contribute to shared household stuff e.g. toilet roll etc then she should keep all the stuff she buys so he can't use it and then he will have to but it. She should also tell him he is responsible for cooking dinner a certain amount of nights for child. 
If she is so close to him signing the consent order and him moving out it seems so much easier to wait until he does that before going to the csa, she can call them the minute he walks out the door. 

Given how difficult he’s being and how he’s dragging everything as long as possible it’s unlikely he’ll be going anytime soon. It’s gonna be September at the earliest by the look of things. 

I really think she should call the CMS and speak to someone to advise them of the situation. Also tell her to make sure she is in receipt of the child benefit as that could be key. I think she will struggle though as no one can be classed as the non resident parent while they are all in a house together. 
If not then she needs to stand her ground and make sure he contributes to the bills that involve their child. 

BigMac79

Today he has informed her that he will only be paying half the household bills and joint credit debts while he’s living there. He will no longer contribute to Xbox live, sons mobile etc 

BigMac79

honeypop said:

BigMac79 said:

I’ve heard the stories so I won’t use the phrase “dad cares for the child” but he’s certainly home alone with him 2-3 days per week, in another room working while the child plays computer games and works through his school workbook by himself and has to wait until mum gets home if he needs help with anything. 

Oh, this hurts. I'm sure there must be other reasons why you say he doesn't care for the child, but this example isn't actually one I'd use to judge someone as bad. 
I'm home with my children, working in another room while they go through their school work by themselves (or amusing themselves if they've finished), and can only really help when I'm on lunch break or after I finish. Doesn't mean I don't care for them. But it's the only way we can all do what we need to do at the moment. I know lots of home-working parents having to do this, although we're at home, doesn't mean we can be available all day long for the home learning. 

No, this was just how he currently defines him ‘looking after” his child lately. I believe he’s also referred to himself as the main carer because he’s been home almost every day since last March. 

ZaSa1418

BigMac79 said:

honeypop said:

BigMac79 said:

I’ve heard the stories so I won’t use the phrase “dad cares for the child” but he’s certainly home alone with him 2-3 days per week, in another room working while the child plays computer games and works through his school workbook by himself and has to wait until mum gets home if he needs help with anything. 

Oh, this hurts. I'm sure there must be other reasons why you say he doesn't care for the child, but this example isn't actually one I'd use to judge someone as bad. 
I'm home with my children, working in another room while they go through their school work by themselves (or amusing themselves if they've finished), and can only really help when I'm on lunch break or after I finish. Doesn't mean I don't care for them. But it's the only way we can all do what we need to do at the moment. I know lots of home-working parents having to do this, although we're at home, doesn't mean we can be available all day long for the home learning. 

No, this was just how he currently defines him ‘looking after” his child lately. I believe he’s also referred to himself as the main carer because he’s been home almost every day since last March. 

He could easily be see that way by others too however unless they end up in family court i would tell your friend not to worry too much about that. 

ZaSa1418

BigMac79 said:

Today he has informed her that he will only be paying half the household bills and joint credit debts while he’s living there. He will no longer contribute to Xbox live, sons mobile etc 

What does the financial order state about the joint debts? Has he signed the order yet? 
xbox live and mobiles are not an essential living cost and once he isn't living there she can open the maintenance case. 

WabbitWabbit

Has your friend now got her own account on here?

The child’s father is paying towards most of  the costs, paying half of the mortgage and utilities. I do think that squabbling over loo roll and bin bags is a bit petty.
I do hope that their child is encouraged to have a good relationship with both parents and at 10 I am sure they are picking up all the awful vibes in their home. Things are so difficult for children at the moment, not going to school and being able to see their friends and then having this going on from which they can’t escape.

Gavin83

There appears to be a lot of bias towards the husband from the OP and wife (understandably so) but he doesn’t really appear to be doing much wrong at the moment. He’s paying half the mortgage and bills and there’s nothing wrong with him not leaving the house. That is after all the advice that would be given on here if he had posted instead.

Ultimately your friend needs to appreciate she’ll be worse off after he leaves. Yes he’ll be liable to pay maintenance but he won’t be expected to continue the mortgage and bill payments and certainly won’t be expected to pay for mobiles and Xbox live. The maintenance payments are expected to cover these. If these are no longer affordable then savings will need to be made.

While I can understand her desire for him to leave the family home the major downside of this will be financial. 

BigMac79

Her biggest issues are with his behaviour. He literally does nothing around the house, he only did it before if he got sex in return. But now that’s been cut off he simply refuses to do anything. The refusal to contribute to these small financial things are something he’s realised will just anger her even more. Their joint account which is used for bills is overdrawn, they were both paying a bit extra into it each month to clear the overdraft but he’s decided not to do that anymore, it’s not a large amount of money. 

He has signed the consent order, it hasn’t yet been sent to the court by his solicitor (no answer given as to why there’s yet another delay). 

She is trying her best to be pleasant and to make the environment at home bearable for everyone but he’s spent the last year going out of his way to be difficult and hostile. If he knows she’s going to see her friend (support bubble) he will just go out right before she’s due to go out. If she needs to go shopping he does the same. He point blank refuses to contribute a penny towards sons food, clothes, anything at all. 

Yes I am showing bias towards him. I have known them both for over 20 years, way before they even got together. I’ve seen and heard everything that’s gone on in the last 10 years and the guy has become a complete !!!!!!. The treatment she’s put up with from him is unbelievable. Her family don’t even like to visit because he makes things so uncomfortable for no other reason than he can. 

burlingtonfl6

You lost the argument OP when you mentioned he wasn't paying for the XBOX live.
My heart bleeds

ZaSa1418

@BigMac79 She needs to clear the overdraft and then either get the account closed down or freeze it. 
If he has signed the consent order then that is a step in the right direction.
If he knows it is annoying her then she needs to stop reacting and then he will probably get bored.