Can I claim child maintenance now?

BigMac79

She works and earns more than he does. She can afford the mortgage and bills by herself. He agreed ages ago to move out but wanted everything formalised in a consent order (understandably) as there are large marital debts (all in her name) rather than him taking on half of these debts they’ve reached a different agreement regarding paying them back and equity in the house etc. He’s dragged his heels on everything for months. She’s literally just received the first draft of the consent order from his solicitor in the last week and sent back her points of contention within 24 hours. He’s once again dragging his heels. The order makes no mention of child maintenance.

Child is 10. 

At the moment he pays half the mortgage and half the bills as he always has because he’s still living there. He contributes nothing towards the child’s food or other costs. He doesn’t even contribute to shared costs within the house such as cleaning items or toilet roll. Nor does he do any housework. He doesn’t take the child out for walks or bike rides. He literally does nothing. They both work full time, he works from home. She splits her time between home and the workplace. 

This has gone on for so long that she’s questioning whether or not he actually intends to go or whether at the 11th hour he’ll just refuse to sign the consent order having stalled for months and months but drip feeding her just enough to prevent her from taking him to court. 

BigMac79

She’s spoken to him. He’s bought a pack of toilet rolls, a bottle of washing up liquid and a roll of bin bags. No mention of contributing towards the child’s upkeep though. 

ZaSa1418

Is she struggling for money? If she isn't then it might be a good idea to leave it until he has moved out. The consent order doesn't need to mention child maintenance as courts don't generally deal with that anymore as that is what the CMS is for. Years ago it was a question in the divorce papers (might still be but have no recent knowledge) along with have arrangements been made for the child e.g. contact

BigMac79

No she’s not struggling, financially she’s fine but he can’t get away with not contributing financially towards his child’s upkeep. He’s avoided it for the best part of a year now. 

Ms_Chocaholic

BigMac79 said:

She works and earns more than he does. She can afford the mortgage and bills by herself. He agreed ages ago to move out but wanted everything formalised in a consent order (understandably) as there are large marital debts (all in her name) rather than him taking on half of these debts they’ve reached a different agreement regarding paying them back and equity in the house etc. He’s dragged his heels on everything for months. She’s literally just received the first draft of the consent order from his solicitor in the last week and sent back her points of contention within 24 hours. He’s once again dragging his heels. The order makes no mention of child maintenance.

Child is 10. 

At the moment he pays half the mortgage and half the bills as he always has because he’s still living there. He contributes nothing towards the child’s food or other costs. He doesn’t even contribute to shared costs within the house such as cleaning items or toilet roll. Nor does he do any housework. He doesn’t take the child out for walks or bike rides. He literally does nothing. They both work full time, he works from home. She splits her time between home and the workplace. 

This has gone on for so long that she’s questioning whether or not he actually intends to go or whether at the 11th hour he’ll just refuse to sign the consent order having stalled for months and months but drip feeding her just enough to prevent her from taking him to court. 

So if dad works from home full time and mum also works full time but splits her time between home and the workplace, when mum is in the workplace presumably dad cares for the child who wont' be in school at the moment due to lockdown.

BigMac79

I’ve heard the stories so I won’t use the phrase “dad cares for the child” but he’s certainly home alone with him 2-3 days per week, in another room working while the child plays computer games and works through his school workbook by himself and has to wait until mum gets home if he needs help with anything. 

74jax

BigMac79 said:

I’ve heard the stories so I won’t use the phrase “dad cares for the child” but he’s certainly home alone with him 2-3 days per week, in another room working while the child plays computer games and works through his school workbook by himself and has to wait until mum gets home if he needs help with anything. 

I honestly don't know how parents are doing home schooling, I'm so pleased my daughter is in her 20s.  At least he can work from home I guess. 

ZaSa1418

BigMac79 said:

No she’s not struggling, financially she’s fine but he can’t get away with not contributing financially towards his child’s upkeep. He’s avoided it for the best part of a year now. 

but he will argue he is paying for his childs upkeep as he is paying half the living costs at the moment. If he still won't contribute to shared household stuff e.g. toilet roll etc then she should keep all the stuff she buys so he can't use it and then he will have to but it. She should also tell him he is responsible for cooking dinner a certain amount of nights for child. 
If she is so close to him signing the consent order and him moving out it seems so much easier to wait until he does that before going to the csa, she can call them the minute he walks out the door. 

BigMac79

ZaSa1418 said:

BigMac79 said:

No she’s not struggling, financially she’s fine but he can’t get away with not contributing financially towards his child’s upkeep. He’s avoided it for the best part of a year now. 

but he will argue he is paying for his childs upkeep as he is paying half the living costs at the moment. If he still won't contribute to shared household stuff e.g. toilet roll etc then she should keep all the stuff she buys so he can't use it and then he will have to but it. She should also tell him he is responsible for cooking dinner a certain amount of nights for child. 
If she is so close to him signing the consent order and him moving out it seems so much easier to wait until he does that before going to the csa, she can call them the minute he walks out the door. 

Given how difficult he’s being and how he’s dragging everything as long as possible it’s unlikely he’ll be going anytime soon. It’s gonna be September at the earliest by the look of things. 

honeypop

BigMac79 said:

I’ve heard the stories so I won’t use the phrase “dad cares for the child” but he’s certainly home alone with him 2-3 days per week, in another room working while the child plays computer games and works through his school workbook by himself and has to wait until mum gets home if he needs help with anything. 

Oh, this hurts. I'm sure there must be other reasons why you say he doesn't care for the child, but this example isn't actually one I'd use to judge someone as bad. 
I'm home with my children, working in another room while they go through their school work by themselves (or amusing themselves if they've finished), and can only really help when I'm on lunch break or after I finish. Doesn't mean I don't care for them. But it's the only way we can all do what we need to do at the moment. I know lots of home-working parents having to do this, although we're at home, doesn't mean we can be available all day long for the home learning.