Buying a house but partner moving in!

WiseOwl00

I personally don't agree with a partner contributing to mortgage payments if they're not on the mortgage. I believe it creates an imbalance in the relationship as one partner is essentially increasing another's equity with nothing in return. For example, if the couple split, then one partner will get nothing out of it and the other will get increased equity courtesy of the other one. Morally, it doesn't sit right with me. Yes he'd be paying off a landlord's mortgage if he rented (and would pay more to rent), but that's a business transaction not a relationship. I'd personally rather they paid half the living costs (energy, water, council tax, broadband, etc.) and then just saved extra on the side to put towards a future, joint house purchase. But that's just my opinion. 

I definitely would not expect him to pay any legal fees either - that sits worse with me than the mortgage payments. Furnishing would be okay providing it was bought as a joint purchase. E.g both have had a say in it and if you split up this furniture gets split. I think you just need to remember that it's you who has just bought the house. You're the one who has gained this massive asset, not him. 

[Deleted User]

Interested100 said:

Hi all,

Looking for some advice please!

I have just bought a house for 140K, with a 15% deposit (21K) and moved in 2 weeks ago. All in all my legal fees cost 2K and to furnish the property and get it looking nice and filled with everything needed it's cost 2K so far, so I've paid 25K this month getting set up.

I've been with my partner for a year but we were a bit silly and didn't discuss moving in arrangements until after I'd bought (aka this week!). I guess me buying was at the funny time between it being a little too soon to talk about moving in a few months ago, but suddenly feeling ready. Either way we're both excited to live together and luckily my new place is just about big enough for 2.

My boyfriend still lives at home now and obviously hasn't contributed any money so far as I am the sole owner. It feels a little soon for him to go on the mortgage, so we've discussed him informally renting from me for 6 months to see how things go before discussing joining the mortgage.

My question is, what would now be fair? My mortgage payments are £600 a month and I expect bills etc. to total about £250 = £850. I was thinking of charging him £400 and me paying £450 (I'll keep my name on bills etc. for now so he just directly pays me), and then setting up a joint account we both pay a weekly amount into to cover food shopping and meals out etc.

I've pitched this and we both agreed it was fair - it's cheaper than him renting and saves me a bit of cash. The downside for me is sharing what is now going to become quite a cramped space (rather than a lovely sized property for 1, not that I really mind!) and the downside for him is basically renting for 6 months longer than he intended before paying into property equity.

My second question is, I have paid 4K this month in furnishing and legal fees. I don't mind this but my boyfriend will move into a fully furnished and kitted out flat with no upfront payment, and if he joins the mortgage as planned in 6 months (obviously my initial deposit will be protected) he will avoid all fees and I am now battling to re-save some cash! Would it be fair at that point to ask for a contribution to those very recent costs or not? If we are now living together we will want a bigger place in a few years so maybe he covers the 4K next time, or should I ask for something sooner whilst I'm at the bottom of my money pit?!

Any advice would be welcome :-) 

What exactly will your boyfriend be renting? A space in your bed? 

You chose to purchase this property on your own. It wasn’t a joint decision so you should suck up the costs of buying your property on your own. Same with furnishing the property as it’s your furniture. If you breakup will your ex be able to take half the furniture with him? 

On your other thread you talk about selling in 2 years time which seems bonkers. 

teachfast

jemima82 said:

I know this isn’t what you’re asking, but I wouldn’t have him move in at all!
You’ve been together for a year - so, mostly during lockdown? Did you know him for a long time before you got together?
Sorry to be cynical but I’m sure he’s happy to move out of mum’s and in to your new home (that space that you were looking forward to enjoying).
There’s no rush...enjoy your new home and enjoy your relationship. If he stays at home he may be able to save more money for the future (joint purchase, or buy in to your property, or a wedding!).

This was exactly what I was going to say.

FTB_Help

WiseOwl00 said:

I personally don't agree with a partner contributing to mortgage payments if they're not on the mortgage. I believe it creates an imbalance in the relationship as one partner is essentially increasing another's equity with nothing in return. For example, if the couple split, then one partner will get nothing out of it and the other will get increased equity courtesy of the other one. Morally, it doesn't sit right with me. Yes he'd be paying off a landlord's mortgage if he rented (and would pay more to rent), but that's a business transaction not a relationship. I'd personally rather they paid half the living costs (energy, water, council tax, broadband, etc.) and then just saved extra on the side to put towards a future, joint house purchase. But that's just my opinion. 

I definitely would not expect him to pay any legal fees either - that sits worse with me than the mortgage payments. Furnishing would be okay providing it was bought as a joint purchase. E.g both have had a say in it and if you split up this furniture gets split. I think you just need to remember that it's you who has just bought the house. You're the one who has gained this massive asset, not him. 

I partly agree with this.

I mean if he was going to move in to a rented place on his own, he will still incur "rent" costs, so regardless of where he will live he will have to pay rent. Op sharing her one bed living space means she's not able to enjoy this one person bed place as she intended, so i guess getting some contribution will compensate.

But on the flip side i also understand that if they do split she would keep his equity that he has put in while he walks away with nothing (but i guess he will be in the same place financially if he rented somewhere on his own)

But trying to get reinbursed for sunk costs (legal/ furnishing) is just plain greedy.

Op signed up to the mortage months ago so would have known what the costs will be back then, so suprising to hear op is at the bottom of their money pit

ShowMeTheDough

Judging by her previous two threads on the same subject which also received plenty of good responses, I'm sure we can expect no replies from the OP now and a new thread created in a few weeks asking the same questions.

Hope the boyfriend runs a mile. 

saajan_12

WiseOwl00 said:

I personally don't agree with a partner contributing to mortgage payments if they're not on the mortgage. I believe it creates an imbalance in the relationship as one partner is essentially increasing another's equity with nothing in return.
For example, if the couple split, then one partner will get nothing out of it and the other will get increased equity courtesy of the other one. - there's the accommodation in return. And partly it goes to increasing equity, but the rest (majority) goes to interest which is the cost of having & living in the property without paying for it upfront. 
Morally, it doesn't sit right with me. Yes he'd be paying off a landlord's mortgage if he rented (and would pay more to rent), but that's a business transaction not a relationship. well if he got free accommodation, that's charity, also not a relationship. So maybe the solution lies somewhere in between (eg paying at least for interest?)
I'd personally rather they paid half the living costs (energy, water, council tax, broadband, etc.) and then just saved extra on the side to put towards a future, joint house purchase. But that's just my opinion. 

I definitely would not expect him to pay any legal fees either - that sits worse with me than the mortgage payments. - that, I agree with, at least until the partner gets added to the mortgage. Furnishing would be okay providing it was bought as a joint purchase. E.g both have had a say in it and if you split up this furniture gets split. I think you just need to remember that it's you who has just bought the house. You're the one who has gained this massive asset, not him. 

In line. Also just my opinions