Buying a house but partner moving in!

Marvel1

Angela_D_3 said:

What has he duggested he pays .... his answer will be very telling.  I was due to move in with a man and whilst he was more than happy gor us to rent a place,  split the rent to the landlord 50/50 to the tune of £500 each and split bills and food equally he wasn’t prepared to do the same if i purchased a property because he wasnt getting anything out of it 🤯
so happy to help a random landlord but not his partner.  It ended very shortly afterwards 

Difference being he had tenent rights when renting from the landlord, you can just throw them with no notice and a lot less rights (If any).

Falafels

Marvel1 said:

Angela_D_3 said:

What has he duggested he pays .... his answer will be very telling.  I was due to move in with a man and whilst he was more than happy gor us to rent a place,  split the rent to the landlord 50/50 to the tune of £500 each and split bills and food equally he wasn’t prepared to do the same if i purchased a property because he wasnt getting anything out of it 🤯
so happy to help a random landlord but not his partner.  It ended very shortly afterwards 

Difference being he had tenent rights when renting from the landlord, you can just throw them with no notice and a lot less rights (If any).

Actually that's not quite true; there are other factors which can be taken into consideration.

However, if the level of discussion has come to this, it sounds like the relationship's effectively over already.

jemima82

I know this isn’t what you’re asking, but I wouldn’t have him move in at all!
You’ve been together for a year - so, mostly during lockdown? Did you know him for a long time before you got together?
Sorry to be cynical but I’m sure he’s happy to move out of mum’s and in to your new home (that space that you were looking forward to enjoying).
There’s no rush...enjoy your new home and enjoy your relationship. If he stays at home he may be able to save more money for the future (joint purchase, or buy in to your property, or a wedding!).

Slithery

Angela_D_3 said:

Slithery said:

Angela_D_3 said:

I was due to move in with a man and whilst he was more than happy gor us to rent a place,  split the rent to the landlord 50/50 to the tune of £500 each and split bills and food equally he wasn’t prepared to do the same if i purchased a property because he wasnt getting anything out of it 🤯

A perfectly sensible and fair approach.

I hope you mean me ending it not him 🙄

Nope, I was talking about his attitude. I've been in the same situation and didn't even consider asking my new girlfriend to contribute to the mortgage.

tink_1983

I'd let him pay half the bills and towards mortgage but I'd not even consider adding a man to my mortgage unless wed been together alot longer than a year. 
I'd wait til you can afford to buy together to get mortgage together.
Asking him to cover his living costs is reasonable. 
I dont thnk you can ask for money for furnishing, if you split can he take some of it with him?!

tink_1983

Interested100 said:

Hi all,

Looking for some advice please!

I have just bought a house for 140K, with a 15% deposit (21K) and moved in 2 weeks ago. All in all my legal fees cost 2K and to furnish the property and get it looking nice and filled with everything needed it's cost 2K so far, so I've paid 25K this month getting set up.

I've been with my partner for a year but we were a bit silly and didn't discuss moving in arrangements until after I'd bought (aka this week!). I guess me buying was at the funny time between it being a little too soon to talk about moving in a few months ago, but suddenly feeling ready. Either way we're both excited to live together and luckily my new place is just about big enough for 2.

My boyfriend still lives at home now and obviously hasn't contributed any money so far as I am the sole owner. It feels a little soon for him to go on the mortgage, so we've discussed him informally renting from me for 6 months to see how things go before discussing joining the mortgage.

My question is, what would now be fair? My mortgage payments are £600 a month and I expect bills etc. to total about £250 = £850. I was thinking of charging him £400 and me paying £450 (I'll keep my name on bills etc. for now so he just directly pays me), and then setting up a joint account we both pay a weekly amount into to cover food shopping and meals out etc.

I've pitched this and we both agreed it was fair - it's cheaper than him renting and saves me a bit of cash. The downside for me is sharing what is now going to become quite a cramped space (rather than a lovely sized property for 1, not that I really mind!) and the downside for him is basically renting for 6 months longer than he intended before paying into property equity.

My second question is, I have paid 4K this month in furnishing and legal fees. I don't mind this but my boyfriend will move into a fully furnished and kitted out flat with no upfront payment, and if he joins the mortgage as planned in 6 months (obviously my initial deposit will be protected) he will avoid all fees and I am now battling to re-save some cash! Would it be fair at that point to ask for a contribution to those very recent costs or not? If we are now living together we will want a bigger place in a few years so maybe he covers the 4K next time, or should I ask for something sooner whilst I'm at the bottom of my money pit?!

Any advice would be welcome :-) 

Just read your two previous threads on this.. some changes to figures on this thread since the first one back in December.

However on the last one your comments about money being tight concern me.
Can you not talk to your bf and say its tight? That you'll struggle to pay for a holiday this year as you've just made a massive financial commitment to a house.
He will either step up and offer you help or he wont but you need to speak out and communicate. 
Your relationship won't survive if you cant talk about money! 

FTB_Help

tink_1983

Just read your two previous threads on this.. some changes to figures on this thread since the first one back in December.

However on the last one your comments about money being tight concern me.
Can you not talk to your bf and say its tight? That you'll struggle to pay for a holiday this year as you've just made a massive financial commitment to a house.
He will either step up and offer you help or he wont but you need to speak out and communicate. 
Your relationship won't survive if you cant talk about money! 

She went ahead and purchased this place all on her own.

She passed affordability to get a mortgage, she found and agreed solicitors fee and bought furnishings all on her own, she chose to buy furnishing now, she knew solcitors fee and deposit would be payable on completion.

So based on all the above, surely she knew the financial position she would be in right now?

Initially this was meant to be taken on all on her own, so she would have known she would have been struggling a bit for the first month.

Her wanting her bf to now cover legal/ furniture costs after she paid for them and after they decided to move him in  is just a bit iffy to me and a bit petty.

If she is in need of cash (again this is a bit strange for me to understand as she went in fully well knowing what her costs will be) it might be better if she just borrowed cash from him rather than trying to justify free cash by saying he is getting the benefit of new furnishing.

Just seen the other threads too where everyone is saying the same but it seems to fall on deaf ears.

Angela_D_3

Slithery said:

Angela_D_3 said:

Slithery said:

Angela_D_3 said:

I was due to move in with a man and whilst he was more than happy gor us to rent a place,  split the rent to the landlord 50/50 to the tune of £500 each and split bills and food equally he wasn’t prepared to do the same if i purchased a property because he wasnt getting anything out of it 🤯

A perfectly sensible and fair approach.

I hope you mean me ending it not him 🙄

Nope, I was talking about his attitude. I've been in the same situation and didn't even consider asking my new girlfriend to contribute to the mortgage.

Oh well bully for you,  i cant afford to keep a man,  i have enough kids

tink_1983

FTB_Help said:

So based on all the above, surely she knew the financial position she would be in right now? 

This is very true.!
Being broke but owning your first home is all part of it..

Slithery

Angela_D_3 said:

Slithery said:

Angela_D_3 said:

Slithery said:

Angela_D_3 said:

I was due to move in with a man and whilst he was more than happy gor us to rent a place,  split the rent to the landlord 50/50 to the tune of £500 each and split bills and food equally he wasn’t prepared to do the same if i purchased a property because he wasnt getting anything out of it 🤯

A perfectly sensible and fair approach.

I hope you mean me ending it not him 🙄

Nope, I was talking about his attitude. I've been in the same situation and didn't even consider asking my new girlfriend to contribute to the mortgage.

Oh well bully for you,  i cant afford to keep a man,  i have enough kids

I wasn't well off, I just understood that the consequences of letting my partner contribute to the mortgage payments would complicate matters if things didn't work out - and they didn't, so surely it was the best decision?