Couple buying house when one puts in 90%+ of cash?

onylon

"charging rent" has really controlling overtones and I'm a little worried about your friend. 

Giving someone an equal share of your house is a massive commitment though and if you arent ready for that then you should tell her. Just remember to treat her as you would like to be treated. When I got married it looked like I would never contribute much financially but my partner chose to pool our finances anyway. I made a dramatic career change a few years ago and started earning a decent wage just in time for him to lose his job (not his fault) so I'm sure he is now very happy that he made the right choice. 

Cuddlybearman

Sounds like true love lol

FaceHead

Buy something that you can afford 50-50. What is the amount that your finance can afford half of? 

You'll buy your half with cash, and she'll have a mortgage on her half. Your name might need to be on the mortgage, but the understanding will be that it's hers to pay. 

Once you're married, you'll probably look to pay the mortgage off as it'll become both of yours. You might realise that that's a bit of a faff, and it's better to wait until you're married, or just split the house 50-50 regardless of who's contributed what. 

Lisalouise1974

My partner who lived in rented, moved in to my house that I own with a mortgage a couple of years ago, we are not planning to get married ( just not our thing ) and I don't have any children, he has two from a previous relationship. I totally get wanting protect yourself if anything goes wrong, I worked really hard to buy my house by myself and have had two longterm relationships that broke up. So when he moved in we split the bills and food shopping in two and we both pay half, which is about £350 each, he then pays a £150 for random incidentals, taking his contribution to £500. We also agreed and formally wrote up an agreement covering other stuff but it was clear in this agreemnet that he is not contributing to the mortgage and doesn't have a share in the house should we break up. I would not feel happy drawing a a rent agreement and he essentially lives here for free. Should I die the house gets left to him, as does my pension (visa a versa for his pension) so this isn't an issue about commitment BUT if I was your GF then I would feel really upset that you would take money from me that you clearly do not need, just becasue living for free in your house doesn't seem right!

avawat20

Whatever you do, get a deed of trust. They maybe be able to advise you on that side of things too.

Grumpy_chap

AdrianC said:

It will never be a "landlord/tenant" situation - few landlords make a practice of sleeping with their tenants (or even lodgers, since you're also resident)...

Just like marriage 😂

sammyjammy

If she is in low paid work then that £10,000 she has saved is massive, look at that context.

pumas

Will 'her' dog have to pay for wear and tear?

RSharkR

Thanks for the responses so far and for the constructive suggestions. 

I appreciate that some people find my thinking a bit too rational and dispassionate, but I think that's sometimes the best way to be when it comes to money! It's a difficult situation which I've not been in before, having always lived alone or rented, and its also a difficult conversation to have as she tends to get angry and shut down rather than discuss things openly (which I accept doesn't bode well!). 

For context, I think I'm just someone who has always been careful and sensible with money, I've worked very hard to save up and been careful about investing it in the right places. I've been made redundant a few times in the last 5-10yrs and this has made me additionally cautious, and I feel that my finance-sense has helped to save me from a very bad situation. I've always avoided debts and where I've had them I've paid them off as fast as possible - for example I've always saved up and bought cars out-right rather than through finance etc. So I guess it's just my way of thinking that I've worked hard, been sensible, and want to make wise decisions going forward that continue to improve our future opportunities.  

By contrast, she's tended to live on credit, paid the minimal amount on her previous mortgage (just covering the interest, hence she's got very little to show for it), has avoided saving, and wants to pay very little on any future mortgage/loan from parents. She wants to live in a big 4-bed detached house, but doesn't want to contribute more than about £250 a month to a mortgage (her income is about £1900pcm), which I think is very low, and unrealistic. So I guess we just have very different approaches to money and it's difficult to find a happy medium. 

I also know that my parents are quite aware of this disparity & different approach and are a bit worried about it, which is obviously relevant if they're lending us their own savings.  

I totally understand the points made re me seeming a bit too cold and controlling about it. But equally I think where is the incentive for me to put in all my savings and my parents money for a large deposit, and pay double(or more) the mortgage/loan repayments, unless that is reflected somehow?  

AdrianC

Then you may be better off dumping this OH, and finding one who is on a financial par with you.