Giving Up/Cutting Down Alcohol Thread Part 17

cathybird

September

7 days =

14 days =

21 days =

28 days =

Target reached =

Target beaten =

September targets

alt80 6/TF

Arkers 3/TF Barny 3/25 cathybird 6/21 Coveredinbees 2/15 CuppaTea 4/15 lantanna 3/14 leftatthetrafficlights 2/10 Lupus Lou 6/30 maggiem 2/14 maman 4/10 marahouti 5/21 Pollyanna24 3/TF PriceySOS 3/22 RobM99 1/29 satchmo1 6/25 Season of Mist 29 sukeyboo 3/10 thriftylass 4/22 WBF 3/15 Newcomers welcome!

maman

I was lucky @thriftylass that my DH was going through a phase of drinking beer (which I can't stand) when I started cutting down so it didn't bother me when he was drinking. Now it doesn't bother me at all although he's back on wine. It's as if once I make up my mind to have an AF day I stick to it despite having loads of booze in the house. I just have to get past wine o'clock then I'm fine. I wouldn't waste an AF day by starting late.

From what you've said, couldn't you ask your DH to buy you AF beer? Tell him you want to keep a clear head for your new job or whatever reason.

4/10 AFDs please Cathy 

thriftylass

maman said:

I was lucky @thriftylass that my DH was going through a phase of drinking beer (which I can't stand) when I started cutting down so it didn't bother me when he was drinking. Now it doesn't bother me at all although he's back on wine. It's as if once I make up my mind to have an AF day I stick to it despite having loads of booze in the house. I just have to get past wine o'clock then I'm fine. I wouldn't waste an AF day by starting late.

From what you've said, couldn't you ask your DH to buy you AF beer? Tell him you want to keep a clear head for your new job or whatever reason.

4/10 AFDs please Cathy 

I told him on soooo many Sundays, I need to have a quiet week, no booze. Monday we usually both don't drink, on Tuesdays he'd go to a pal's house but by Wednesday he just brings some home. I tried the non-alc version but it has too many associations for me still. I need to do my own thing and just not trying to involve him anymore. As you say, I need to decide of the start of the day that it will be AF and nothing he does, suggests, brings home should bring me off course. I need to basically start by not using him as an excuse for my decisions or letting him be my excuse, like oh, but he brought it in, it's his fault kind of situation. And overcome my FOMO, if he has just beer in the house and I nothing. I'm not missing out on anything!

Hope that made sense.

CuppaTea

That makes perfect sense but in weaker moments I can see how easy it would be to cave. 

Sounds like he justifies his drinking by encouraging you to endorse it by joining him. Making it ok. 

Could you show him your post above? Explain you’re serious this time for a lot of reasons and his support would be hugely appreciated. Whilst you aren’t curtailing what he does, you’d like him to support your choices? 

CuppaTea

Just as well I’m driving later. I’ve already got wine o’clock in my head as it’s sunny.  It’s pure association and wanting to treat myself as I’m tired after work. 

But I know I’ll regret it. It’s Monday and I have to drive later and it’ll be 2030-2100 once back so no point starting. 
I do want a run of green days this week!  

alt80

6 please.

I can relate to some of what people are saying re late nights and not being able to accept that time of life is over. Also people who influence (mine wasn’t my Mrs so easier from that perspective for me but there were people). It’s why I initially joined the alcohol thread as I used to drink more than I’d be comfortable telling people and sometimes the drinking was the gateway to binges. I’d tell people I was ‘off it’ because I knew it wasn’t really acceptable but in my own head I was ‘being careful’ and ‘in control’ with the quantities etc. Always lead to massive binges which I blamed on drinking / stress all sorts of utter !!!!!! to not have to admit to myself what I’d become. Don’t want criticism about it, it is what it is and I’m moving on with professional guidance from those days but I think it’s relevant for anyone struggling with addiction.

lantanna

3/14 for me today

satchmo1

6/25 for me today. And I've just started antibiotics, so I won't risk mixing booze in.

Coveredinbees!!!!

2/15 for me, back to work today so normal service should resume.

Lupus_Lou

Hi everyone 
6/30 for me please  Cathybird. 
I had an evening meeting tonight and when I got home about an hour ago I made a huge plate of curly fries as a "reward".
I feel a bit yuk now TBH
Loops  x