Tightening the belts for unpaid leave

[Deleted User]

Thank both - and love the can't put the p*o back in the donkey saying!!  I know ultimately it will be ok and we will find the house we want to live in forever, it's just so troubling at the moment when we have 2 kids.  Baby will be fine but the 2 year old I worry about disrupting with another move.  DH keeps telling me we absolutely had to do this so that we are in a position to pounce on right house as we missed out on 2 we really liked last year as ours wasn't under offer.  It's just s*d's law that now we are finally in a position to pounce, there is nothing to pounce on!  If we could stay here in this rental longer I'd be less bothered as we actually like living here (but wouldn't buy it as we don't like it that much and it doesn't suit our long term requirements) but we can't and it's sh*te.  I am going to try and put my big girl pants on and treat it like an adventure.  And I know we are ultimately trying to create a wonderful home for the two DC's so that I shouldn't beat myself up about the short-term disruption.

So today is going to be relatively quiet - I have both kids today as DC1 only goes to nursery twice a week.  Just ordered my uncle some lovely iced biscuits saying "thinking of you" etc as he has lukemia and is really struggling.  It's pants not being able to offer physical support.  So that was £35.85.  Need to order DC2 some size 3 nappies so will do that shortly.  Not sure how much that will be as he is moving up from size 2.  Hoping DC1 will go down for a long nap around 1030 to give me a bit of respite though to be fair, he's just sat watching "Planes" at the moment (he is bl**dy obsessed with it and asks for it every day!).  Getting some laundry done (never ending with 2 DC) and will have soup and rolls for lunch from stores.  Dinner is a butternut squash and chickpea curry from freezer and might do some rice with it.  Healthy eating has sort of gone out the window but we have so far not drunk in January which is a positive and I am sleeping and feeling much better for it (not to mention the saving by not drinking!)

My parents have been very generous and sent us a cheque for DC2 (they did same when DC1 was born).  DH is quite savvy with investments so invested for DC1 in funds.  We then saved all his child benefit and also put another £70 a month in until we started looking for a new house.  We still save the CB (and now for DC2 also) but don't put the extra £70 in due to needing it for house savings and also because I shortly won't be getting paid.  Once we have a new house and know what mortgage is/what work required and what nursery fees ultimately are, then we will look at saving extra for them both again if we can afford it (I suspect not but we will see).  So have amassed quite a bit more on top of the money parents sent so DH will invest that when cheque clears.  We have decided to just treat it as one pot to make sure they both get the same ultimately.  DH has managed to grow the pot pretty well so far, so just hoping he can do same with this lot.  We are basically saving for their university so that we aren't staring down the barrel of 2 lots of uni fees when I am looking to potentially retire (or at least go more part time).  My dad did the same as soon as I was born and so I thought it was a good idea!

southern_chick

Just wanted to stop lurking to say don’t worry about you DCs being disrupted by any house moves.  my DD lived in 7 houses in 2 different countries by the time she was 4 😱 the delights of a Forces family and then getting divorced.  We then moved again when she was 15 to our forever home.  She doesn’t really remember the early moves so wasn’t scarred for life by then and the last move she was fully involved in and was fine with it.  The only thing she ever asked was were her toys moving with us!  Children are always more adaptable than we give them credit for, you will all be fine xx

[Deleted User]

Thank you @southern_chick, that is comforting to know!

So nappies were £22.88 but that was for a big pack of I think 240/260 so will last us a while.  Going to see if can flog the 2 packs of size 1 nappies I have locally, not many size 2's left so will probably just use those up whilst waiting for size 3's to arrive (he is still just about ok in size 2 - no red marks but getting more difficult to do up fully).  Nothing else bought yesterday.  Today we might need milk but that's it (we go through A LOT in this house as my DH practically drowns his cereal in it, I have loads of coffee and DC1 has it to drink and on his brekkie).  Tonight is salmon and packet rice from stores and will do another shop tomorrow just because DH has afternoon off and so it's easier to avoid the weekend rush.  Will hunt out some (hopefully frugal) recipes today and prep list but we do also have plenty in freezer from last week so can work around that to bring down the bill.

DC1 does need some new shoes and trainers however, but am waiting for foot gauges to arrive so can measure up and order!

Do feel a little bit like I have the potential to spiral again money wise, just with everything being so bleak. I was looking at cars online yesterday - I mean, we are going to have to get a new car soon-ish but now is really not the time to be thinking about it.  And we just seem to spend ALL THE TIME.  I think it's hard with DC's though as they always need things, we rarely buy stuff for ourselves (other than food!).  Luckily we don't really have to buy any clothes for DC2 as he is wearing all of DC1's old stuff - in process of packing away his 0-3 month stuff which no longer fits and need DH to go to storage (we have a storage locker at present) to get DC1's old 3-6 month stuff out.  Thankfully some friends /family had bought DC2 some 3-6 month sleepsuits so am able to make do with those until DH has the time to retrieve the other stuff at the weekend.

Not sure whether to start flogging the 0-3 month and first size stuff now or not.  I still feel like I might like a third child but DH is not keen.  I'm not actually sure we can afford a third or that my decrepit body will take another but I can't shake the feeling and haven't been able to since DC2 was born.

Aspiration

Completely agree as parents you don’t end up buying anything for yourself and if you’re not careful I think can lose sight of yourself a bit. Kids bring the most joy though 🤣

Know what you mean about always needing something. We noticed April - July seem reasonable months, Nov/Dec horrific for spending but it’s been really helpful to remind ourselves about what we didn’t budget for properly and control the annual bills better.

You’re doing great!

savingholmes

I have a tabbed spreadsheet for each month so I can predict spends and have visibility of annual bills. Others use YNAB to help with budgeting...

[Deleted User]

Christ, so I am up in the middle of the night, worrying.  Got all the forms off my solicitors today re the london property which I started to fill in.  One of the questions related to internal alterations to the property and whether the freeholder's consent was obtained/building control sorted.  I have no idea on the latter as the builder dealt (and I think they were a bit dodge as they ripped me off) and papers are in storage god knows where - going to try to retrieve on weekend.  However, that doesn't bother me so much because, from what I have read online, I can insure against that.  What bothers me more though is that I (very naively) didn't realise that the freeholder's consent was required.  She is a very unreasonable woman.  I honestly did think about lying on the forms and claiming if asked that the previous owners did it, but I just can't do that (plus I'd worry about it forever more too!) so instead have tackled it head on and sent email to the EA setting out the position and asking them to ask purchaser if that will put them off.  The purchaser is a savvy letting/development company so they know their onions.  They want to complete before 31 March (I think because of  reduced stamp duty issue) so we probably haven't got time to engage with freeholder to get the consents retrospectively and I don't want to incur solicitors costs if this is going to be a sticking point.  I understand they want to completely renovate the property potentially including extending into the loft and possibly buying the freehold so it may be that it is just not an issue for them and they will tackle it later on (whereas a FTB would understandably be more nervous about this and seek the consents in advance of purchase).  Just hoping it's positive news and then will get forms done over weekend and get matters moving.  They want some monies on account so, presuming all well, will use my holiday fund for that then repay it once the sale goes through (presuming it does!).  I can't believe how stupid I was so many years ago - I did the works around the same time that I was a f*ckwit about interest rates, spending and money (you remember from my original post the kitchen I had signed on dotted line for just before I lost my job for being an uncommitted halfwit?!).  It makes me so cross at my former self.  These days, the first thing on my mind when doing absolutely anything is the risks involved, and what is required!  ARGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am a stupid bl**dy idiot!!!!

PollyWollyDoodle

Oh dear - things always seem worse in the middle of the night, I hope that daylight brings a bit more perspective. There’s usually a solution of some sort. I think (although I’m no expert) that the freeholder cannot withhold consent unreasonably, she can’t just act on a whim. As you say they may be planning to buy the freehold anyway. 

[Deleted User]

Estate Agent currently trying to bully me into not asking the question of the purchaser but to tackle the issue with the freeholder now.  Thing is, knowing her, she will drag her feet/want money and if 31 March is the cut off date for these purchasers, I don't want to incur unnecessary legal fees/give me tenant notice when the property may not be sold, leaving me out of pocket and also without a tenant meaning we'd have to find another 808 a month when I'm not getting paid (plus council tax, utilities standing charges etc).  It's already going to be very very tight and we've been told we have to vacate our current rental end March - have something else potentially lined up but it's another £300 a month so is eating into our available monthly budget without dipping into savings.  God the stress.  I know these are first world problems but I just want rid of that property - it gives me SUCH sleepless nights.

astrocytic_kitten

Sorry it’s not a great start to the year, any one of those things by themselves would be stressful let alone having it all happen at once. Try not to beat yourself up too much about past mistakes - we’ve all been there.

joedenise

The Estate Agent are supposed to be working FOR you not the purchaser.  Don't let them bully you just keep repeating that you want them to do their job and ask the purchaser the question.  Try not to get too stressed about it - selling a property is stressful enough without the added problems.