Tightening the belts for unpaid leave

[Deleted User]

oh wow PollyWollyDoodle - another one!  It's so great to hear all these stories of people making the change and not regretting it.  I am planning, once my kids are school age, to go term time only school hours only (if they'll let me) so that at least until my kids are high school age, I can dedicate as much time as possible to them.  Might then (early 50's) return to what I was doing pre-kids to swell the coffers pre-retirement but going to see where we are financially and otherwise at that time.  Like you, I took a sideways step so the work I'm doing should enable me to return if I need/want to but financially we don't think (I say think) I need to as long as I keep my current job.

astrocytic_kitten

That’s a real lightbulb moment for me - it never occurred to me other people would feel the same about taking a step back while single, saying your career was the only thing you had going for you was exactly how I felt (tbh feel) too! To be honest I didn’t have a choice in doing so - I have a couple of quite serious chronic illnesses made worse by stress (!) and spent years working silly hours and doing lots of travel and not really looking after myself. Eventually my body couldn’t take it any more and my consultant signed me off work for a while. I’m now back in a part time support role. It’s interesting though, I hated the thought of everyone knowing I ‘couldn’t hack it’ and very visibly not being able to do what I used to (I’m now partially disabled). It was a difficult adjustment, but now it’s happened and everyone knows it’s actually a relief. Though I still have a little voice in my head suggesting getting back on the treadmill once I’m able even though I know it’s no good for me.

Really interesting here to see people commenting who have stepped away and done so well - that’s definitely where I want to get to. @PollyWollyDoodle that’s exactly where I want to be, I’m so glad you have no regrets.

CreditCardJunkie

Sort of similar...I had a stressful (and underpaid) professional career which I did enjoy, but the hours didn't fit into my family life. After clearing our debt, I decided to give up my job, work for myself and have a very part time job which just gives a little extra security. 
The whole covid thing for us has really made us look at our priorities, yes we'd love a bigger house and fancy holidays, but at the moment our 1 year old would much prefer extra time with us than any material/frivolous things!
Sounds like you've got a good hold on things, enjoy your time off!

[Deleted User]

@astrocrytic_kitten OMG you sound just like me (bar the chronic conditions - which I am sorry for).  My body gave up too and I also felt like people would think I couldn't hack it and I felt ashamed for not being able to hack it, but in the end, we have to try to push those feelings aside, as it's not those people who have to live with the situation so it's nothing to do with them and we have to not care what they think.  
@CreditCardJunkie - so great that you decided to give up and where your focus is.  The trappings of modern wealth are so difficult to avoid in this age of FB and Insta - I think we put so much pressure on ourselves to "have it all" including material goods/lifestyle.  And oftentimes it's just not healthy.  So hats off to you.

So, was a NSD yesterday - woo hoo!!!!!  Today won't be though - going to M&S shortly to get a thai box for tonight (we also need milk and bread) - it's only £10, delicious and essentially a third of what we'd spend if we had takeout so is a friday night treat.  We just use our own sweet chilli sauce for the spring rolls as they are a bit rubbish without.  This afternoon DH is off so he is going to take the kids so I can nip to town to do a bit of shopping.  Need to do a Boots run for nappies/toddler snacks and also some pre-made formula for being out and about so that will cost a little.  Am taking back some stuff to M&S though which I originally used a gift card to purchase so will get a refund of £22 though could do with another jumper so will see if they have anything in there as with the refund, my gift card has a balance of £40.  Was going to get DH a shirt or something but he's asked for something else which means a trip to the garden centre but will do that next week as can't face two trips today!

Staying in tonight with our thai box but might open some wine with DH!  We have plenty of chocolate for pudding!

[Deleted User]

So today was not as spend free as I'd hoped - partly my fault - partly necessity.  M&S got an Indian box as they had no thai boxes then bread and milk as planned but also sneaked in a cake in each for DH and I and a pudding for tonight so came to £19.88.  Out of money budgeted but then means less "excess" to shoot across into savings!  Spent £10 on Hotel Chocolat for DH and I which was meant to be for christmas week but of course we opened as soon as I got home!  Refund on the clothes so now have £40 on my gift card.  And a spend of £15.30 in Boots on toddler snacks (cheaper than the supermarket plus get points so better overall), toothbrush and toothpaste for him plus some handwash.  Forgot to get pre- made formula and realised we were ok for nappies so didn't bother.  It is all out of money left in this month's budget but, like I say, the more we spend the less we save!

In other news - got a full asking price offer on my london property today!  Makes me think maybe I marketed it too low but it does need an awful lot of work and the estate agent said that too.  They are also willing to take with the tenant insitu as long as I give them notice and they will deal with getting them out etc.  It will be such a relief to sell that if it all goes through since it has become a bit of a nightmare and very difficult to manage and basically a worry - it was never bought as a BTL, it just ended up that way when I ended up moving away - so will be so glad to be rid of the worry.  I won't read my emails if I wake up in the night as I would dread emails from the tenants saying x or y is wrong - I need to be awake and ready to receive emails like that (and then would obviously sort anything straight away).

Looking forward to DC1 going to bed (7pm) then cracking open a bottle of red with DH whilst enjoying catching up on our fave tv shows.

[Deleted User]

So, don't even want to think about spending this weekend - we bought quite a lot.  To be fair, it was out of budget for last month (as I run my budget 20th first month - 19th next month just because that's the way things fell when I started out and to coincide with mine and DH's pay days) but still.  However, important thing was didn't go over budget for the month and yesterday started with a brand new budget of which I have spent the grand total of £1.39 (half the cost of milk and cream).

So maybe I should explain how we run our finances.  Although we are married and to all intent and purposes all money is "joint" we still keep separate current accounts, into which our wages are paid and my tenant pays her rent. (as BTL is in my name only as was the property I bought early 2000's way before I met DH).  We then have a joint "bills" account into which we both pay equal amounts which covers all utilities, tv licence/subscriptions, house phone, broadband etc then we each pay for our own mobiles.  We then have a credit card in my name with DH as additional holder and all household spending goes on there as we get points which we can then convert to vouchers and things like that.  I set myself a monthly budget to cover my share of spending on the card, which I hoof into an instant access savings account (paltry amount of interest but even a few pennies better in my pocket than elsewhere) at the start of each new budget month and then every time I spend on credit card, I ping the sum (whether it's whole sum as it's my own purchase or half as it's household) into another instant access savings account (again with poor interest rate!) which then means I have the money to cover the credit card bill when due so avoid paying interest on it.  I keep a record of the spending on the credit card through daily checks online and then tell DH what he owes me at end of each budget month.  That then gets hoofed into the same instant access savings account as mine and the credit card bill is paid in full when due.  This way, we never incur interest charges (as soon as I get the bill to be paid at the end of the month, I diarise in my calendar to pay it so I don't miss the date) and earn a few pennies in interest, plus points towards vouchers.  We both save separately but keep each other updated as to what we have in savings and we are free to buy what we want when we want it but if it is a big purchase then we'd consult one another.  Seems to work for us.

So today I need to instruct solicitors to serve my tenant notice and deal with the london property sale.  Really really hoping it will all go through.  Have struggled a bit over weekend as to whether this is the right thing to do but it needs so much work (roof fixing, new windows throughout bar the one which was just installed, re-plastering, re-decorating inside and out, new bathroom, new carpets and garden sorting) that will be mega expensive and I am not in UK so would be very very difficult to manage.  Then even if I did all that I'd have CGT to pay even if I achieved a better price so I think there's a lot to be said for the "hassle factor" being avoided.

Going to go and do the big christmas food shop today (we made a list last night).  I was going to leave this until weds but given the news we are waking up to re borders being shut I think I am going to go today.  My main worry is making sure I have enough formula for the baby to last several weeks just in case as we can all survive on pasta and sauce if necessary but baby obviously can't.  Also will do a nappy run tomorrow I think.  Though this is likely to be expensive it is out of this month's budget and we are going to cut down after christmas so I think it is ok.  Oh who am I kidding - it's silly to go nuts and I am not sure I am being my best self in doing so but it's that mentality of having enough isn't it - I mean the shops only shut for a couple of days!!!  Arghhh, maybe I will try to curb it when I get in there.  That said, I just want my little family to have nice things to eat this christmas!

Other than that, we are not doing a whole lot this week and have meals up until xmas eve planned and from stores.  DH working today, DC1 going to MIL this afternoon then nursery tomorrow.  I have them both all day weds and thurs am then DH off until new year.  

[Deleted User]

Did the big food shop.  Was just over £250 including wine (split between us so £125 each).  Know that is a lot but DH said he didn't want to scrimp this year given we've not been away at all and it's been bloody miserable.  So we haven't.  As long as we cut down a bit in January it will be ok and also bought a lot of cheese which obviously lasts a while so there will be leftovers to do some lunches between xmas and new year.  I'm also making a huge batch of sausage and chestnut pasta which normally eeks out into 6 portions so 3 meals (as DC1 has separate dinner at the moment).  Then another £40 on formula for DC2 but this has been forward bought in case of issues with supply.  DH is going to get nappies today.  I am going to nip out with DC2 today to get DH's final xmas present.  Have £66.66 leftover in my allocated xmas budget and don't think his present will be more than £30 so can then shoot over remainder to savings or "repay" myself re this month's spending budget as have used some of that to buy xmas food.

Have to pay the buildings/landlords insurance on my london property today which is £324 but once it sells, I should get a refund of the unused portion of that.  Solicitors have contacted me re giving notice so just waiting to hear on that.  The insurance is coming out of my pay this month as I knew it was coming so set it aside.  Means it's less in savings but is obviously an essential.

Dinner tonight is salmon and rice from stores - we have salmon in freezer so need to get it out.  Simple dinner then probably a mince pie (also from stores).  DC1 last day at nursery today before they shut over the xmas period.  So will be full on from this evening until new year in terms of the kids.  It's great but we do run out of things to do with them - not so bad if weather ok and we can go to the park but not great when it's miserable!

Really want to cut down in January - the leftovers on my January pay will go to pay my tax bill then they are taking my pension contributions up to september from my February pay so will be very little left.  I had thought about taking a break but if I don't pay my portion then work don't pay theirs and as it's essentially "free" money, it makes sense to pay them.  Then no pay from end Feb onwards.  I mean, I think I get a couple of days pay end March given the way the leave has fallen and they do pay bonuses in March but not sure I will get one this year (and very thankful just to have a job!) so there will be a little bit in March but not much!!  So, plan is to get through until after new year and then really slash the budget down.

astrocytic_kitten

I bought lots of cheese thinking it would keep me going for a while and it’s almost all gone - and I don’t even eat that much cheese normally! It’s been a tough year, and it’s all budgeted for and you know it’s a one-off for Christmas and can’t continue - I think you’re fine splashing out a bit. 

[Deleted User]

Bought DH's present - he wanted gardening gloves and they were only £5.99.  Felt like I hadn't got him enough present-wise so also bought a bottle of gin which was £22.51 so a total of £28.50.  Under the £30 budgeted for so will ping £38.16 over to savings.  And that is me done with christmas shopping finally!  Also realised we had no foil so ended up buying that today which will be split 50/50 so another £1.15 spent from my account.  Does anyone else's DH/DP infuriate them by never letting them know that certain things have run out??  It's a good job I happened to notice today before all the shops were shut for xmas!!

Another infuriating thing today: thought we were going to have salmon and rice for tea (as DH had said there was salmon in freezer).  Went to get it out to defrost and only 1 piece!  Rang DH and he said oh well there's a salmon fishcake so you can have the fillet and I'll have that.  Got the packet out to defrost.  DH came to make it and realised only half a fishcake left as we must have given half to DC1 at some point!  So anyway, I ended up with a jacket potato and DH had the salmon and half fishcake (as I said I'd prefer the potato) - good job we had plenty of excess potatoes (I had got a 2.5kg pack when we only need 800g but thinking we could make potato wedges out of the rest) or we would have had to crack into the "proper" xmas food tonight as there was no way I was battling the shops again for something to eat!

Forgot we needed to grab the cat's flea meds from the vets so DH did that as next door to nursery - 3 month supply - not sure how much it was as he paid on the joint card and never obtains receipts, so will just wait until that comes through on joint card to record and knock off my ever decreasing monthly budget!!!

Solicitors have quoted £300 to draft and serve notice on tenant.  Won't be done until after new year though due to all the checks they need to do to set up file, draft it, etc etc.  Have some money set aside in an account earmarked for holidays which I've been saving into for ages.  However, given we've not been able to go away due to Covid, it's not been touched.  So will use that to pay the solicitor's fees re sale etc and then repay myself from house proceeds when all goes through (presuming it does!!).

[Deleted User]

Happy Christmas Eve everyone!

DH popped to shop on way home from work last night and got milk x3, bread, fruit for DC1, carrots (for reindeer) and leeks (to have with our boxing day meal).  No idea how much he spent as he doesn't ever take receipts so will just wait until it comes up on cc'd online.  Checked that today and he'd spent £35 on batteries and compost which he hadn't told me about - I'm presuming they are required things but a bit annoying as just means balance of budgeted monthly spends goes down again!

24th of each month is the date my paltry amount of interest in my savings accounts which double as "pots" for holidays, credit card, monthly spend etc is credited.  Today it was a whole 36p!!!!!  Wow-eee (sarcastic laugh) but hoofed that over to my main savings account anyway which has a much better (though still rubbish) rate of interest.  So trying to make every penny count!

They want to complete on my london property before 31 March which would just be fantastic to lose that stress.  Plus the cash will help towards purchase of a property where we live/renovations.  Fingers crossed it all works out as am now incurring solicitor's fees.

DH working this morning but should be home by 1 so looking forward to that.  Have just spent the morning with the kids watching The Snowman and all of the follow on films from that.  DC1 now having a nap and DC2 on the floor on his jungle gym as he is very windy and being on that on the floor seems to help get his wind out!  Can't wait to hunker down with DH and DC's this afternoon, watching christmas films, drinking christmas booze and eating christmas food!