Tightening the belts for unpaid leave

[Deleted User]

So a few of my posts have been deleted for swearing - apologies MSE - unfortunately other words didn't do the vendors justice!  Anyway, moving on.

Disaster on the spending front.  We have been treating ourselves due to being down about the house.  So was £53 in M&S Friday, £80 odd in WR yesterday, £37 with the wine merchant, £18 on steaks and then £88 in boots but that did include a pack of 2 x electric toothbrushes for us and also some formula for DC2.  But that's enough now.  No more.

So we will go over budget this month but it has been an exceptional time really given what has happened.  We spent all of yesterday morning cleaning the flat and moving furniture around to give us more space and make it feel a bit more homely.  That has made us feel better slightly.  We are going to unpack some more of the DC's toys/books for them too.

Both DC have been poorly with a virus (not corona) all week which has been tough.  DC2 was at A&E Fri as he was struggling with breathing but is ok thank god.

So not a huge amount to support.  Back at work in 5 weeks so need to try to make the most of the time off I have left.  It has just been a bit of a rubbish time for us and we just can't see an end in sight at present.

astrocytic_kitten

“It has just been a bit of a rubbish time for us” Understatement of the century there…I’d be swearing too, you’re having an awful time of it by any measure. 

Well done on picking yourselves up again and making your current place more homely even with everything else going on. Hope the DC feel better soon!

Blackcats

I'm so sorry to read about the house move.  I agree that the very rich are usually very rich for a reason and it can be that they have lost touch with reality and the part they play in other people's lives.

I sold a house a few years ago and it was being bought outright by parents for their daughter.  It was an expensive property (by most standards) but mum and dad had the money to buy it and then spend another £150,000 massively extending it as apparently a 3 bed detached house wasn't big enough for the 25 year old daughter and her husband.  As soon as we had got a fair way into the process they became vile - trying to knock the price down with quibbles over amounts like £150 for a new window lock right up to £10,000 for re-pointing the chimney.  The family were clearly wealthy but they only cared about themselves.

also the whole house buying and selling process is so archaic and stacked against a sensible you want to sell/I want to buy - we agree a price and the transaction happens approach.  The sellers you dealt with are able to behave that way because both the system and their morals allow them to.  There are no repercussions for them and they can do the same thing to other people whenever they want.

It's a good idea to make your flat feel more comfortable and a brilliant suggestion to take a couple of weeks "off" at the end of your mat leave.  I know this is an MSE site but could you blow your budget and have a few family days away before you go back to work?   Could you come to the mainland for a few days and explore the alternative lifestyle you talked about, living mortgage free etc. ?

[Deleted User]

@Blackcats - thank you.  That's awful re the house - the sad thing is, that is how those people get rich, and awful that they quibbled over such things despite clearly having plenty.  I bet that daughter is very spoilt and sadly, her parents have done her no favours as she will never understand the value of things.  Completely different but I had a friend from uni, she wasn't rich as she was a teacher but I remember when we all met up in london (this was YEARS ago), she was saying she didn't have money to go out to bars/restaurants etc.  Fair enough, so the rest of us paid for her.  Then we went shopping the next day and she was buying clothes and handbags left right and centre, but again that night said that she didn't have money to go out so we had to subsidise her again.  I get there's priorities but I thought it was bad form to be buying stuff in front of us and then not contribute on the night out.  A few years later she announced she had paid off her mortgage(!!).

Had another friend like that (lawyer so decent salary) who I knew earned more than me as I had helped her out with something where her salary had to be disclosed so I knew what it was.  Always held back at the bar and never bought a drink, when we went out, if I had more wine or whatever I'd offer to pay more and she'd gladly accept, but if it was the other way (say she had more wine/dessert/whatever) then she was quite happy if I suggested just splitting the bill and never offered to pay more - another one who paid off her mortgage early!!!!

It is annoying because people like that have made me be less generous with my money than I used to be - I now feel aggrieved when on family events we have to buy the more expensive items or chip in more money because we earn more because of how we've been diddled in the past.

I think everything will be booked but we are certainly going to look at getting away if we can (and maybe viewing a few houses whilst so doing though we want to make it about the kids and doing stuff for them rather than us).

So, took kids to park yesterday which was free and we didn't buy any snacks or drinks as took our own for DC1, milk for DC2 and we went without.  DH took kids up to his mum's in the afternoon to give me a break - tried to sleep but couldn't due to the dogs downstairs and next door barking constantly!!!  I need to order some more ear plugs.  Ordered a book for cooking for the kids and some of those kid proofing plug socket things from amazon as can't find ours so that was £13.84.  DH cooked an AMAZING roast chicken last night, the sauce he made was out of this world and just as good as you'd have in a restaurant.  So we had all the stuff already from the shop on the weekend and he had picked carrots out of the allotment we have at our friends' house.

Today I've dropped DC1 at MIL and then got milk, yoo moo lolly packs x 2 and 2 1kg packs of the yeo valley yoghurt the kids like.  Didn't have a bag so had to buy one so £11.07 in total but the yoghurt should last a little while (though they eat A LOT of it!!).  Just getting ready then have a meeting at 11 at DC1's new nursery he is starting first week of Sept as apparently it's a big transition (more like pre-school).  DH will pick DC1 up from MIL at 1230 and then we are having chicken sausages from stores for lunch (am back on WW).  Tonight is the good-life stuff and waffles from stores and then yoo moo (only 3 points).

This arvo hoping DC1 will sleep and I can watch a bit of tv whilst playing with DC2.

[Deleted User]

Yesterday wasn't a NSD.  A book on cooking for the kids arrived so I went to get ingredients to make stuff for them - can't recall as need to dig receipt out but think was around £20 but included milk which was needed anyway and also blackberries for DC1.  Decided that we can't put life on hold and that I really needed to work on weaning DC2 better so went for it.  Made him cheese and chive pancakes last night - they mostly ended up on the floor but he did eat some.  DC1 wouldn't touch them!

Today will make some spinach and ricotta puff pastry parcels then DC1 can have one in his nursery lunchbox tomorrow (not that I expect he'll eat it) and the rest can be frozen.  Froze the left over pancakes from yesterday so now have a stash for DC2's dinners.  Felt like there wasn't enough freezer space to be doing this but re-arranged a few things and I think we will be ok as long as I don't cook more than about 3 lots of things at a time and then use those up before cooking more.

Have both DC on own today though DH is going to finish early and take them to his mums and feed them there so I can have a bit of a break.  Going to take them to the park this morning (free) then poss to soft play (also free).  Dinner is from stores tonight (the usual cardboard).

[Deleted User]

Took kids to park but was heaving as seemingly the whole world was there - was difficult to park and DC2 wasn't happy so we didn't stay long.  Came home and gave them both lunch from stores and neither wanted to sleep so battled all afternoon.  Finally got about 30 mins to myself.

DH came home and has taken them to his mother's so I can have a break but of course, I tidied up, did dishwasher, hoovered and am now trying to dry bedding.  Not made the ricotta things yet but might leave until tomorrow.  Feel like maybe I'm coming down with something (and both kids were poorly last week so maybe I have it) as can barely keep eyes open as type.

Wasn't a NSD as needed nappies for DC2 and earplugs so have ordered those at a cost of around £23.

[Deleted User]

Morning moneysavers!

Lots to do today.  Need to:

1. Claim back costs of hygenist the other week from my dental cover (work pay for that so not an unnecessary expense and quite handy!);
2. Book a spa treatment! (I have a voucher DH bought me almost a year ago for my b'day which is going to expire soon);
3. Book myself in for haircut and highlights before return to work (not had these done since March);
4. Book optician as really struggling with my eyes.  Work pay a fixed sum (can't remember what it is) towards the test and then I think £50 towards any glasses - I do have some old glasses somewhere so if I can find those (god knows where they are with all our stuff in boxes) I could be MSE and just get the lenses changed;
5. Phone the garage and find out how much it would be to get our key fixed/replacement and book it in as we are only operating with one at the moment which is fine whilst I'm on mat leave but will potentially become a disaster when back at work;
6. Get a present for a kid whose party DC1 is going to on Sunday;
7. Whilst getting present for kid, look for present for niece whose birthday is next week;
8. Whilst doing (6) and (7) look for lunchboxes for DC's which are fridge friendly so we can make their lunches for nursery the day before when I start back at work.  They could have cooked lunches if we paid but it's £3.50 a day which really adds up, and DC1 usually doesn't eat them anyway (as we've tried previously);
9. Cook DC2 the spinach and ricotta things I didn't do yesterday;
10. Pick up milk and bread!

And I really should take DC2 to the park.

We are def going over budget this month and by quite a way.  But we have had quite a month so am not sweating it.  I also get paid for a few days on 20th as am now into paid holiday so that will help swell the coffers and we can go back to our original budget amount (but trying to cut down).  In fact, I think I ought to start a new diary as really, from 20th, no longer on unpaid leave so title no longer applicable!

Blackcats

Great list - busy day ahead.
good to do some things that take care of you.

[Deleted User]

Managed to do 3, 6, 7, 8 and 10 yesterday.  Did 5 and 9 today - re key they suggested we try the battery first (duh!) which will be between £3-7 depending on which type it is.  Hopefully we can pop in this arvo and do it.  Re 9 - spent ages doing this only for DC2 to have 1 mouthful then throw on floor.  He is at point where he thinks it is a game and it's getting me down!  Trying to be a better mother by making him good things from scratch but it just all gets thrown on floor and then I think I'm better off just giving him the pouches!

Spendy day yesterday as needed all those presents (and bought DC2 something whilst I was there but he didn't even like it!) and then wrapping paper and cards.  Also bought some glass bowls for cooking as we can't find ours and some more ice blocks for lunch boxes.  Ended up being just over £66.  Then spent another £19 in WR on bread, milk, wine, chocolate, lunch for me and I think bananas - am sure there was some other stuff too but can't remember now.

Today will not be a NSD as we are getting take out pizza and some popcorn to have a pizza, popcorn and movie night with DC1.  

Will do big shop tomorrow.

We will definitely go over budget this month (and likely by around £2-300) but we have just had a rubbish time so I am not sweating it (too much!)

[Deleted User]

£45 in M&S on rubbish and take away pizza £25.  Pizza, popcorn and movie night went down a storm with DC1 - I put Shrek on and he screamed blue murder saying "I didn't like it" (which means I don't like it) even though he'd never seen it.  Then he absolutely LOVED it (this morning he has said "watch a donkey").  It was SO cute to sit on the sofa with him all chomping on pizza and popcorn.  Have resigned self to fact that we are just spending until new budget starts and am going to start a new diary then.

Today DC1 has cricket and then we are going to take him up to the playground at the new nursery he is starting in a few weeks.  Then have a work bbq (free) and we got an M&S thai box for tea.  Got milk yesterday so will do big shop tomorrow as just don't think will have time today.

Can't remember if mentioned on here but AGES ago we had put a flyer through someone's house we liked the look of.  They got in touch a while back saying they were getting ready to sell but we were under offer at that point so replied that we were under offer but would be in touch if it fell through.  So we got back in touch and they had their house valued - it's within budget (57,500 cheaper than the previous house) and we did a walk by yesterday - it's a completely different concept to the last house which was a relatively new build - this is an old cottage with an upstairs but also has numerous outbuildings including one which has accommodation for guests.  2 acre plot so plenty of room for expanding if needed.  The owners are away at the moment (hence we did a sneaky walk by!) but back today and have said we can view so hopefully we will see that this week.

DH may also be changing jobs.  Can't say much about it on here but would potentially mean a significant amount more in the coffers each month plus very good bonuses.  But lots to consider before he does anything about it.

My boss also mentioned to me that she might want me to go to 35 hours (if I wanted) rather than 28.  At the moment, because we are stuck in this flat I'd be happy to but, if we got our house, it might be quite nice having 2 days a week with the DC.  So am going to hold out and see what happens and review end of year.  Plus, I'd have to see if nursery could take them both for an extra day a week and not sure there will be space.