Writing a will - advice would be greatly received second marriages

Bousfield

My husband and I are in the process of sorting out our wills. Its the second marriage for both of us and is proving to be difficult.
 I have 3 children (19, 17 and 8) with my husband having 1 child (9) however my husband  is in the process of adopting my youngest child. We own our property jointly and were advised to leave the property in trust to our children on death, with a life time interest for the surviving spouse. My husband is very against this idea , as he does not like the idea of trustees controlling his money. I also feel very apprehensive regarding this option as my husbands ex wife is extremely toxic and my husband knows she will bully/harrass and make my life hell if I don't sell the house and give his daughter her inheritance. She will not want to wait until my death. Its also complicated regarding my youngest daughter because after adoption she would be legally acknowledged as my husbands child so do I leave her out of my will with my husband putting my daughter into his?  If my youngest is a beneficiary on mine and my husbands she would benefit twice ?

We have another  property, business accounts, limited companies and life insurance polices  and my husband feels we should leave the children a proportion of money from these so that we can both can have control over our own home , in the event of either one of our death. An example of his idea: 
Residential property worth £400,000.00 (his share) gifted to me 
Business assets gifted to me at present £300,000.00
His daughter: Gifted £150,000.00 from his life insurance policy held in trust until she is 25
His second home gifted to his daughter - value approx £80,000.00
Savings account he holds for his daughter which has 25,000.00 (at present will increase as he is saving until she is 18)  to be added to the account held in trust 
CSA provision (from his death) up until his daughter 19 birthday to be gifted as a lump sum to his ex wife. Calculated on his now monthly payment until his daughter 19 birthday. Would be approx £37,000.00 

My husband  will leave nothing to my 3 children as on his death they would inherit from me , which I feel is fair. 

On my death I would gift my husband the house, the assets from the business and then leave my life insurance to my children £300,000.00. I don't know whether I should split between my 2 children or 3 children as  the youngest could inherit from husband when her adoption goes through?  My husband had more assets on marriage which is why his daughter is receiving a greater share then my kids.  

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My main concern is my husbands ex wife attempting to contest the Will seeking more inheritance on behalf of her daughter as she feels she has been dis inherited because of the house or expecting more CSA contributions (if still in receipt of payment) 

ZaSa1418

The ex wife can contest all she likes, as long as he has made allowances then she will just be wasting her time and money. 
I would seek proper advice from someone who specialises in this.
Why is your husband only adopting your youngest child? Why would you leave this child out of your inheritance? I also don't agree his biological daughter should inherit more than his adopted (when this goes through) child. I would be furious if my husband suggested this and would even rethink the adoption tbh. 

Brynsam

I don't even need to read your post to give you the only possible sensible advice: contact a solicitor and get the job done properly.

getmore4less

Typically with a IPDI trust(the one you are considering)   the surviving spouse and one or more the eventual beneficiaries are used as trustees so there is no loss of control of the property.

Your asset base is over £650k so need to be careful with the residential nil rate bands as they will be needed.
Any issue around the business and running them if one of you goes,  that needs to be considered.
Any sole trader business.

One for solicitors that can have all the facts.

Bousfield

Thanks I will take the advice and make an appointment with a solicitor.  

Aranyani

You seem to be treating the children very unequally, this will likely cause upset, resentment and damaged relationships down the line. 

There are four children of your marriage, why not treat them all equally?

Bousfield

My husband doesn't view my  older 2 children  as his responsibility for Inheritance.  He feels that they have a dad and he should be providing more for his own daughter, as he has contributed more money to the marriage.  Its a tough one.  

Sea_Shell

Bousfield said:

Thanks I will take the advice and make an appointment with a solicitor.  

Also bear in mind, that either surviving spouse could subsequently write a new will, which may fly in the face of what you agree between you now.

Either of you may remarry again.

A good solicitor should run through your many "what if" scenarios.

xylophone

See a solicitor expert in wills and trusts.

https://content.step.org/step-directory

ZaSa1418

Bousfield said:

My husband doesn't view my  older 2 children  as his responsibility for Inheritance.  He feels that they have a dad and he should be providing more for his own daughter, as he has contributed more money to the marriage.  Its a tough one.  

It is a tough one, lets take the 2 older children out the picture. Once he adopts your youngest she is just as much his daughter as the older one he has, why should the older one get more than the younger one? 

Mojisola

Bousfield said:

We own our property jointly and were advised to leave the property in trust to our children on death, with a life time interest for the surviving spouse.

One benefit of such a trust is that a share of the property definitely gets handed on to the children whether the widow/er goes on to remarry or needs to fund a long spell in residential care or gets manipulated by someone to make a new will in their favour.