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My ex-friend paid me back!

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Last month I asked for advice over a former friend who didn’t pay me back over an errand and travel, I accepted that she would not pay me back, but today she paid me back. I never thought she would. It took a while, but I’m glad I have closure. 
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  • DCFC79DCFC79 Forumite
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    Last month I asked for advice over a former friend who didn’t pay me back over an errand and travel, I accepted that she would not pay me back, but today she paid me back. I never thought she would. It took a while, but I’m glad I have closure. 
    Im glad you got it back, have you now learnt a valuable lesson not to mix friends and money ?
  • DCFC79 said:
    Last month I asked for advice over a former friend who didn’t pay me back over an errand and travel, I accepted that she would not pay me back, but today she paid me back. I never thought she would. It took a while, but I’m glad I have closure. 
    Im glad you got it back, have you now learnt a valuable lesson not to mix friends and money ?
    I have. Maybe when things have all swept over, we MIGHT become friends again. But won’t be helping her with her business anymore. 
    Sugababes|Depeche Mode|Nightwish|Placebo|Kaiser Chiefs|Within Temptation
  • edited 10 December 2020 at 11:28AM
    MurphybearMurphybear Forumite
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    edited 10 December 2020 at 11:28AM
    I’m glad it worked out for you.

    a few years ago a person who I considered to be a close friend asked me if I could give her a loan.  I tried to soften it by saying I didn’t have sufficient funds but sadly she didn’t believe me.  The friendship cooled after that which was a shame as otherwise she was a lovely person.  Even to this day I’m 90% certain I would never have been repaid.  

    As someone said, friendship and money don’t usually mix 
  • MalMonroeMalMonroe Forumite
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    My lovely Mum used to say "neither a lender nor a borrower be" and she was right. And she also said that if you ever lend anything to anyone, you must be prepared to never see whatever it is again. Money, clothes, tools, whatever.

    People have a right to ask for anything they like - but by the same token, you have the right to refuse. If they don't like it that's too bad.

    A newish neighbour sent me a text in summer - after all, it was covid times, as it still is - to ask if he could 'have a lend of your outside tap'. Which I never use myself, it was put in by the previous occupier so he could easily water the (handkerchief size) garden. I use my watering can! The neighbour wanted to attach a jetwasher to it to thoroughly clean his drive and car. I hate people using jetwashers as, call me daft, but I think it's a total waste of water. Also I dreaded the thought of him then setting a precedent and coming round all the time to use the tap for whatever reason. So I let him down gently and said 'no'. He didn't seem best pleased and has cooled towards me - is still civil but not as friendly - but I don't regret saying no. He had every right to ask but then again, I didn't have to agree. 
  • MalMonroeMalMonroe Forumite
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    I’m glad it worked out for you.

    a few years ago a person who I considered to be a close friend asked me if I could give her a loan.  I tried to soften it by saying I didn’t have sufficient funds but sadly she didn’t believe me.  The friendship cooled after that which was a shame as otherwise she was a lovely person.  Even to this day I’m 90% certain I would never have been repaid.  

    As someone said, friendship and money don’t usually mix 
    That obviously was not a true friend. Friendship and money can mix, if the lender doesn't mind losing the money forever. But most of us can't afford to do that!
  • NivNiv Forumite
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    I would always consider a loan request from a friend a last resort for them. If they need to come to me for money they must be up that creek. As such, if I decided to 'loan' them anything, i would have written it off in my head from the moment i gave it to them. I never have and never will loan a significant sum of money to anyone.
    YNWA

    Target: Mortgage free by 58.
  • GDB2222GDB2222 Forumite
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    You can always make a gift of the money. If it’s too much for that, then it is too much to loan.
    No reliance should be placed on the above! Absolutely none, do you hear?
  • CarlsdadCarlsdad Forumite
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    Many years ago, a friend of mine said something about the subject of lending money which I have never forgotten. ''When you are lending money, it's yours. When they have to pay it back, it's theirs". So very true.
  • ian16527ian16527 Forumite
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    I went halves on a holiday home in France with an old friend. It was many years ago and only worth about £5K as it was in a state. He later decided to live there for a while so I had no use of it, then I bought him out. I cleaned it up and did a bit of work on it, then he asked if he could rent it with his new wife.
    I declined, as he never worked for years and was permanent borrower( never saw the borrowed things again) and I knew I wouldn't get any rent out of him. I did say he could holiday there if he wanted. I haven't seen him since and that was 2004. Previous to this we had been friends for over 20 years. 
  • jimpwarsopjimpwarsop Forumite
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    "Its better to give than to lend.... and it costs about the same ".
    A "mate" borrowed £500 about twelve years ago.
    I later found out he owed everyone, worse still his wife had a good job and paid all the house hold bills, so it was just money for booze and fags. He died, ah well.
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