My sister wants to move into my fathers house.... but hasn't put her house up for sale

Savvy_Sue

Zecis said:

thank you all for your responses... they mostly align with my own. All of this is even more difficult because we cant do it face to face, thanks to them being in a Tier 1 area.
To avoid confusion, no one is living in the house now. My wife's sister lives in the same town, and we live 150 miles away, it is my wife who is the Executor - and desperate not to damage the relationship with her sister... .they are both mourning the loss of their mother (late last year), and their father early this year. So treading on eggshells without breaking any is the order of the day!!.

it is very difficult, and I would definitely start any conversation by acknowledging that they are both missing their parents, but presumably your wife would like to maintain a good relationship with the grandchildren who are also affected by this. Are they all 'yours', or does SIL have children too? 

A zoom might be the way forward, but I'd definitely recommend that however this conversation takes place, your wife practises what to say before she says it, has notes written out before hand and so on. Might it also be helpful if it is clear that you are also 'involved' in this 'pressure'? That, in supporting your wife as executor, you are supporting her in making this request, as it were? 

And just to be clear, if this is YOUR father's house that your SIL wants to move into, then I think it's valid for your wife to be able to say that you are also grieving, and finding it hard all the time that your late father's house remains empty, that you'd be really happy to see SIL in it, etc etc etc. 

And, do you have a good relationship with your BIL? Is it possible that there's reluctance on his part, which you could discuss 'man-to-man'?

But you'll know the dynamics better than we do ... 

Keep_pedalling

I would also remind her that the stamp duty holiday ends in March so the longer she delays the more chance she has of having to pay it. It’s an incentive to any potential buyer as well so she may find her place harder to sell the nearer it gets to the deadline.

Gavin83

Keep_pedalling said:

I would also remind her that the stamp duty holiday ends in March so the longer she delays the more chance she has of having to pay it. It’s an incentive to any potential buyer as well so she may find her place harder to sell the nearer it gets to the deadline.

Honestly if someone hasn’t already received an offer on their house and started the process it’s already too late. I can see a lot of last minute buyer pullouts next year.

Mojisola

Zecis said:

So treading on eggshells without breaking any is the order of the day!!.

And yet your SIL doesn't care that she is delaying you and your children receiving the inheritance or that she is prolonging the time your wife has to deal with the estate while still grieving for her own parents and her father-in-law?

calleyw

She has had her chance and if it was me it would be on the open market now.  None of this is personal and your wife needs to treat it like a business transaction and achive the best price  This why some times it better to have non family members as exceutors as they wont be swayed by any personal relationship or the fact that they are grieving.

I know its been a tough year all round but houses have been selling and in some cases quickly.

Yours

Calley x

Savvy_Sue

calleyw said:

She has had her chance and if it was me it would be on the open market now.  None of this is personal and your wife needs to treat it like a business transaction and achive the best price  This why some times it better to have non family members as exceutors as they wont be swayed by any personal relationship or the fact that they are grieving.

I know its been a tough year all round but houses have been selling and in some cases quickly.

Yours

Calley x

Actually, that is an option: I don't know if this help at all with the 'eggshell' relationship, but the OP's wife could decide to hand everything over to a third party (solicitor) and ask them to expedite finalising the estate. State that if sister is able to buy house they'll be happy, even if price is slightly lower than 'best', but give a timescale. 

This has the risk, of course, that a solicitor could take even longer to finalise things, but may remove the personal feelings. 

xylophone

that a solicitor could take even longer to finalise things,

Not to mention the increase in expenses to be borne by the estate thus diminishing further the inheritance due to the beneficiaries.

Savvy_Sue

xylophone said:

that a solicitor could take even longer to finalise things,

Not to mention the increase in expenses to be borne by the estate thus diminishing further the inheritance due to the beneficiaries.

Well absolutely. But I know I'd prioritise a relationship over money. So I'm not saying my suggestion is necessarily a good one, but I do feel it's one to be aware of. Perhaps it's more something to suggest to the sister: that IF it becomes too difficult for the OP's wife to act, there are other options, but they won't be cheap and they won't be quick, and wouldn't it just be so much better if sis would get a move on and ACT!

Mojisola

xylophone said:

that a solicitor could take even longer to finalise things,

Not to mention the increase in expenses to be borne by the estate thus diminishing further the inheritance due to the beneficiaries.

But the delays must be costing money as well because of the upkeep of the property.

AnotherJoe

Zecis said:

thank you all for your responses... they mostly align with my own. All of this is even more difficult because we cant do it face to face, thanks to them being in a Tier 1 area.
To avoid confusion, no one is living in the house now. My wife's sister lives in the same town, and we live 150 miles away, it is my wife who is the Executor - and desperate not to damage the relationship with her sister... .they are both mourning the loss of their mother (late last year), and their father early this year. So treading on eggshells without breaking any is the order of the day!!.

Not much of a relationship when it seems your wifes sister is using that in order to drag this out and no doubt get to a position whereby she moves into dads house and still shilly shallies about selling hers and then you'd be stuck trying to work out how to get her out.

As others have said, DO NOT let that happen. Dont let her bully your wife.