Old homeowner visiting, thoughts?

Cookietree

Thank you all.
it was his childhood home and yes his mum passed away 5 years ago. it caught me off guard his visit and his disappointment of the changes we made. It was old property not maintained in the later years, with polystyrene ceiling tiles, metal windows, damp, very wonky roof which we’ve had to replace to make it safe & sound. I like what we’ve done to improve it & I have wonderful neighbours who like it too. 

SpiderLegs

Sounds like he’s casing the joint to me 

Slinky

We pulled out of a house purchase where the vendors had built a house in the garden they were moving too. High amongst the reasons we changed our mind was he was showing all the signs of being a control freak and we were concerned he would not be happy with changes we planned to make.

fiwen30

I’ve revisited a couple of my childhood homes, but never unannounced, always with permission of the current owner, and hopefully never making any feel uncomfortable! As a teenager, we also had someone come and knock on our door - she happened to be in the area, and had grown up in our house, and would it be ok if she came in for a few minutes? We said no problem, and she was able to tell us some lovely history about the house.

I think we sometimes forget that our homes have a past, and that that past can mean a great deal to some people. I was so thankful that I was able to visit 1 of my childhood homes, despite all the ‘improvements’ that the owner had made. However, if OP is made uncomfortable by this person, then their boundary should be respected. Might I suggest that you don’t engage your visitor, if they come again, and instead try out an impression of a grey rock - monosyllabic, non-commital noises, and always somewhere else you have to be, even if that somewhere is inside.

Snuggles

I live not far from my childhood home and not far from the house my dad later lived in before he died. A few times a year I do go out of my way to drive past both just to look and remember. I would never dream of intruding on the current owners in any way though. I wouldn't even approach the new owners never mind pass comment on the changes they've made! Some people just have no boundaries! If you see him again just go inside and ignore.

greatcrested

call me an od romantic but a home you grew up in has all sorts of memories and sometimes those are important. Especially if, for example, going through a rough patch or living somewhere less nice.

Sure - it's your house now, and no one has a 'right' to impose on your time and/or hospitaliy, but why not show some friendly interest? People are far too insular these days, and too quick to condemn other peoples actions and feelings.

You don't need to invite him in (tough you could if you have time, empathy and Covid wasn't an issue), but a short conversation discussing the changes does you no harm.

Indeed, with my current house I find it interesting to hear how it looked 2, 3 owners agow (30, 40 years).

Just another viewpoint.

Carl2510

A swift **** off should do the trick

Norman_Castle

Cookietree said:

We’ve been in our home for 18 months now.

Doing the front garden on Tuesday, the old homeowner’s son drove up, parked and then chatted how he had lived her for 28 years, was his mums house, happy memories, he misses the musty smell, why have you cut down the trees, she loved them, why you changed the windows, why the fence, etc.

My dad bought his house, my childhood home, new and lived in it for 50 years. New build homes in the 50s were a house on a plot, he built the garage, conservatory, kitchen, built in wardrobes etc and laid out the whole garden making countless changes over the years.  Its changed now with new owners which is sad for me but I know if he bought a house he would make changes to that.

Don't be to hard on the ex home owners son, he's probably still grieving his mother.

swingaloo2

I often visit a small village I used to live in as a child and we had a lovely cottage there where I remember some really happy times. I would love to go inside but would never dream of asking. 
Just disappear inside when you see them approach.

FtbDreaming

My nan was in a children’s home for a period in the 1950’s with about 6 of her siblings. A few of them went up there for a look at the beginning of this year and there was a lady who owned it and it is a very grand house now. The lady seen them outside and invited them in and showed them around. 

My Nan has some good and some bad memories of the place so it stirred up a lot of emotion but it was very nice of the lady to welcome them in and gave them all a fantastic day out! 

You do what you feel like. Nobody will pressure you either way.