End of Life in Care Home

annie501

Hi, can anyone advise me please, we have been told by Doctor my Dad is now in end of life care in a Care Home (not because of corona) but we are 4 siblings and have been told only 2 people from same household can enter the Home to see him. They are in High category at moment. How on earth do we choose which siblings are allowed to say goodbye? 

JJ_Egan

A petition please link .

eddddy

It's very much a 'second best' option, but depending on your Dad's condition - could a technology solution help?

For example, could some family members chat with your Dad via video sessions on an iPad (so that they can see each other and chat with each other)?

You could even have a Zoom session (or similar) where lots of family members join in the video session at the same time - but that might overwhelm your Dad a bit.

fred246

All go in and ask them to point to the two allowed in. Ask them to make the decision so you won't have any arguments in the future. They will find it too difficult and let you all in.

montyrebel

2 oldest children surely imo

ToxicWomble

2 from the same household may actually only mean 1 can visit if all 4 lived in their own separate households.

gizmo111

Is this 2 at a time, or only 2 named people?
Local hospital here is 1 person per day but for end of life they agreed to split the day so 2 people could visit separately. 

74jax

In the case of my Mam, my brother went.  I was the last to see Mam (even though it was weeks previous), and my brother is also the oldest.
He face timed the whole family, held the speaker to Mams ear and we just talked so she heard our voices.
He managed to get hold of all the grandkids and so she probably heard the voices of far more than if we had been allowed to visit (if that makes sense).
It's not a case of who gets to say goodbye - you all get the chance, it's just not in person.  

74jax

fred246 said:

All go in and ask them to point to the two allowed in. Ask them to make the decision so you won't have any arguments in the future. They will find it too difficult and let you all in.

Whilst I understand that the decision of who gets to go in, is then taken from you, I highly doubt the Care Home would find it too difficult and just allow all in. 
You don't all need to go (remember they need to keep safe and have a full care home of people to protect), you could just ask them to decide for you.  I doubt they would, but if you don't mind it being chosen randomly then it's an option.  
I'd still go with opting for the oldest or one who hasn't seen Dad in the longest and face timing.  

AskAsk

are you sure this is not 2 from the same house hold at any time?  so 2 could go in and then out, then the other 2 go in?

but otherwise the 2 that goes in have a tablet and you all can speak via video link.

JamoLew

Its already been mentioned though that all 4 may actually belong to 4 different households.
Unless the OP returns to clarify, we are just guessing