Refusing to pay funereal costs

Flugelhorn

interesting with death certs - I have written a fair few and usually knew the family and therefore who I was handing it to, just thinking about collecting mother's cert from the hospital - the bereavement office hadn't a clue who I was, just glad that someone was taking the cert off their hands and was going to organise the next stage 

Dr_Crypto

How can the hospital know about the deceased's personal relationships? The people tasked with this are nothing to do with the team caring for the patient so will have no idea about them. It is perfectly reasonable to phone round to see if a relative wants to organise a disposal. If they don't then a pauper's funeral will be organised. The alternative would be for the hospital to organise the disposal and risk relatives popping up later angry and upset they were not given an oportunity to organise something. 

I used to do sessions signing cremation papers and so used the same office as the bereavement team who did this work. They certainly didn't "guilt trip" anybody. They asked if the person would like to organise something. They were a collection of middle aged ladies - hardly the bullying type. 

Mickey666

That’s all fair comment, but the issue raised here seems to be the hospital trying to pin a £7k funeral cost on someone.  If the hospital is simply trying to find someone, anyone, to deal with the deceased - which seems fair enough on the face of it - where did the £7k come from?  As pointed out throughout this thread, there are many funeral options that would not cost anywhere near £7k, so where has this figure come from?

elsien

Mickey666 said:

That’s all fair comment, but the issue raised here seems to be the hospital trying to pin a £7k funeral cost on someone.  If the hospital is simply trying to find someone, anyone, to deal with the deceased - which seems fair enough on the face of it - where did the £7k come from?  As pointed out throughout this thread, there are many funeral options that would not cost anywhere near £7k, so where has this figure come from?

The figure would have come from the funeral director. I suspect miscommunication somewhere along the line which the OP hasn't come back to clear up. The hospital may have pointed towards a funeral director they have found reliable in the past, but I think it highly unlikely they would have arranged a 7K funeral then said to someone else "here you go, you pay." The fee is due by the person who signs the contract with the funeral director. I will guarantee the hospital will not have signed a 7K contract.
 The OP's friend will have been passed to the funeral director,  should have discussed what was involved as you do with any funeral, and had the option to say yes/no/what have you got that's cheaper/I can't afford it, find someone else. 

Dr_Crypto

There is no way the hospital are doing that. The funeral director may be quoting £7k for a funeral but there are plenty of cheaper options should the person involved want to organise something for their ex. If they do not then a pauper's funeral will be arranged by the hospital/council. 
I would be surpised if the body had left the hospital mortuary until it was clear who would be dealing with the disposal, although if they are short of space (due to COVId, perhaps) it might have done but that isn't the OP's friend's problem. 

Pollycat

Dr_Crypto said:

How can the hospital know about the deceased's personal relationships? The people tasked with this are nothing to do with the team caring for the patient so will have no idea about them. It is perfectly reasonable to phone round to see if a relative wants to organise a disposal. If they don't then a pauper's funeral will be organised. The alternative would be for the hospital to organise the disposal and risk relatives popping up later angry and upset they were not given an oportunity to organise something. 

I used to do sessions signing cremation papers and so used the same office as the bereavement team who did this work. They certainly didn't "guilt trip" anybody. They asked if the person would like to organise something. They were a collection of middle aged ladies - hardly the bullying type. 

I don't know how the hospital department dealing with this got the separated wife's information.

Maybe they went through the contacts in his phone and she was the only one to show the slightest interest so they asked her to call into the hospital.

I'm going purely on what the OP said:

Uriziel said:

I know someone who's husband passed away with coronavirus and now she is being expected to pay £7K in funereal fees.
They were separated and she cannot afford to pay as she is on a low income.
Can she refuse to pay the funereal fees? I am finding very little information on this online and apparently the hospital handed her contact details of a funereal details who is wanting to charge £7K.

It's unfortunate that the OP has not come back to clarify details.

I'd say 'being expected to pay' for a funeral for someone you were no longer living with merited the description 'guilt-tripping'.

elsien

Mickey666 said:

That’s all fair comment, but the issue raised here seems to be the hospital trying to pin a £7k funeral cost on someone.  If the hospital is simply trying to find someone, anyone, to deal with the deceased - which seems fair enough on the face of it - where did the £7k come from?  As pointed out throughout this thread, there are many funeral options that would not cost anywhere near £7k, so where has this figure come from?

I’ve just re-read the OPs posts. No contract signed, the 7K is just a quote from the funeral with OP looking for cheaper options. They have now been advised by people on here they can walk away if they wish to, and cheaper options  if they don’t. 

Dr_Crypto

Pollycat said:

Dr_Crypto said:

How can the hospital know about the deceased's personal relationships? The people tasked with this are nothing to do with the team caring for the patient so will have no idea about them. It is perfectly reasonable to phone round to see if a relative wants to organise a disposal. If they don't then a pauper's funeral will be organised. The alternative would be for the hospital to organise the disposal and risk relatives popping up later angry and upset they were not given an oportunity to organise something. 

I used to do sessions signing cremation papers and so used the same office as the bereavement team who did this work. They certainly didn't "guilt trip" anybody. They asked if the person would like to organise something. They were a collection of middle aged ladies - hardly the bullying type. 

I don't know how the hospital department dealing with this got the separated wife's information.

Maybe they went through the contacts in his phone and she was the only one to show the slightest interest so they asked her to call into the hospital.

I'm going purely on what the OP said:

Could be all sorts of ways. We don't know how close they were even after seperation. She could have been listed as his next of kin. They may have looked through the hospital records and seen she was previously listed. 
I know in cases where there is nobody recorded social services go into the person's house and see if they can find details of any friends or relatives and then let them know the person has died (and offer them the oportunity of organising a funeral). If there is nobody then they proceed to a pauper's funeral. 
Many people find the idea of a relative, however distant, being disposed of with no funeral distubing and seek to prevent this. As I said there is more to life than £££. 

mummytummy

We had a simple funeral in May this year for my mil and total cost which included 3rd party fees, excluding flowers, was £2942.00

Pollycat

Dr_Crypto said:

Could be all sorts of ways. We don't know how close they were even after seperation. She could have been listed as his next of kin. They may have looked through the hospital records and seen she was previously listed. 
I know in cases where there is nobody recorded social services go into the person's house and see if they can find details of any friends or relatives and then let them know the person has died (and offer them the oportunity of organising a funeral). If there is nobody then they proceed to a pauper's funeral. 
Many people find the idea of a relative, however distant, being disposed of with no funeral distubing and seek to prevent this. As I said there is more to life than £££. 

You are right.

We don't know (and are highly unlikely to ever know, imo).

But we do know that the OP says:

Uriziel said:

she is being expected to pay £7K in funereal fees.

That doesn't sound like being 'offered the opportunity or organising a funeral'.

Indeed there is more to life that £££. Which is why I wouldn't like this lady to be saddled with a debt when she is on a low income for someone she is separated from.

elsien said:

I’ve just re-read the OPs posts. No contract signed, the 7K is just a quote from the funeral with OP looking for cheaper options. They have now been advised by people on here they can walk away if they wish to, and cheaper options  if they don’t. 

Regardless of the whys and wherefores, this ^^^^ is the message the OP should take to his acquaintance.

Let's hope she hasn't signed a contract unless she is 100% willing to pay for the funeral.

Not coerced.

Not guilt-tripped.