Please Delete thread

csgohan4

consideration for a live in carer/ Residential home shouldn't be discounted now or in the future. More falls or illness at home may soften their unwillingness to consider this. Sometimes they can be understandably proud and want to maintain their independence, but there comes a time that even carers four times a day they are not safe at home and best interest decision may need to be made. 

However if they have capacity, then not much more you can do than respect their wishes and hope nothing happens when carers are not there. 

Frailty will come to us all sadly and how comfortable with dealing with this and making it easier for ourselves is different

Murphybear

Hi to OP

I live in sheltered housing independent living which is brilliant.  They also have extra care.

unfortunately they only have properties in England.  If she would be interested let me know and I will PM you the details.

You do not need to go through the council for this HA, you contact them directly.  

kazwookie

You and your partner move in upstairs

Move gran downstairs, make a bedroom / lounge for her near the bathroom.

Someone then is on hand should she fall, can make a couple of meals a day for her etc

[Deleted User]

md258 said:

As a temporary option, could you and your partner move in with her? Then she'd have someone to help her down the stairs and you'd be able to check on her easily.

You'd need to think through and agree the full impact of doing this- (who cooks, cleans, does the washing etc and if how frequently it is reviewed) but it may give gran some of the support she needs in the short term. Converting the living/dining room into her bedroom could help with the stairs if the bathroom is downstairs (which is how I read your post)

I'm afraid I can't comment on levels of care or how to get it

Unfortunately not, it wouldn’t be worth her while for me or my partner to do so , I work a staggered shift pattern so would hardly be there, and my partner the same, not only that, unfortunately her gran is far to proud to let me or her grand daughter even attempt to help her with the slightest of things.

[Deleted User]

deannatrois said:

It seems to me if you are not willing to live with her, only buy her property.., someone needs to look at putting a stair lift in before carting her off to a residential home.  If she is self caring otherwise.

Yea, know the full story, or read my original post first.

her wishes are to sell us her house.
Her wishes are also to go into said housing. 

A stair lift isn’t going to help her off the sofa, or off the kitchen floor, so please , do not jump to a conclusion or assumption. 

[Deleted User]

kazwookie said:

You and your partner move in upstairs

Move gran downstairs, make a bedroom / lounge for her near the bathroom.

Someone then is on hand should she fall, can make a couple of meals a day for her etc

as already stated, it wouldn’t be worth her while, she would see us the same amount as she does now being we work staggered shift patterns.

swingaloo2

She will need the proceeds of the house sale to use as rent and for extra care if she does find a place. According to your other thread the aim is to sell it to you at a discounted rate so how do you reconcile the two issues?
In May you described having the house as 'an easier way to get on the property ladder' at the same time as your partner was considering a DMP and only a month ago you posted that you were 'about to begin' to save for a house deposit so how is any of your plan to get the house going to be possible?

[Deleted User]

swingaloo2 said:

She will need the proceeds of the house sale to use as rent and for extra care if she does find a place. According to your other thread the aim is to sell it to you at a discounted rate so how do you reconcile the two issues?
In May you described having the house as 'an easier way to get on the property ladder' at the same time as your partner was considering a DMP and only a month ago you posted that you were 'about to begin' to save for a house deposit so how is any of your plan to get the house going to be possible?

Well.. may until now is a long time passed, she changed her mind back in May and decided she would give living alone a go again...
thus meaning my partner and I cleared the debt with that deposit we originally saved.

we then began saving again over 2 months ago, comfortably saved enough money to get on the property ladder.

just so happens that her gran has now come to terms that she cannot live alone and needs extra care.

If that’s hard to understand, please ask and I’ll explain in further detail.

but the king and short is. Time passed, things changed, and now they changed again