When should my child view the house we are buying?

gingerlex

Hello everyone, new to posting but I've been lurking for a couple of weeks.
I'm not quite sure how best to time this really. My 4 year old knows we are moving and seems excited about the new house. We have shown her pictures. For any viewings of our home or us looking at prospective homes she went to my parents so she has been shielded to a certain extent.

We made an offer on the house we are buying after the first viewing. It just felt right and we knew that we needed to do so quickly. Right now we have had a mortgage offer, searches are underway and survey is booked.
Last I heard from our buyers they were mid-searches and waiting a mortgage offer (2 weeks ago). I have already messaged my EA for a status update.

I want to involve my daughter but I don't want to be a nuisance to our vendor, and I don't know if it's wise to take her while we can still have our buyers pull out. What would you do? Just go for a second viewing and show her anyway?, Wait until exchange is imminent? Leave it altogether?

I welcome your opinions :-)

lika_86

You should probably do a pre-exchange visit to check everything is still fine, I'd take her then.

Jeepers_Creepers

What will you do if your child says she absolutely hates it?

gingerlex

Jeepers_Creepers said:

What will you do if your child says she absolutely hates it?

I will point out all the ways the new house benefits her! If she doubles down I'll tell her tough 😂, but I want to make sure I have time to ease her into the idea if that's the route she will take (though it seems unlikely. Though she does want to live in a treehouse).

We live on a corner semi with a pokey back garden, everything is at the side/front. We are near a sort of busy road (not a main road but a road into the main housing area. Also popular with learners), new house is on a far quieter road where she can go out on her bike more easily.
New house is bigger both inside and out - large garden to play in, plenty of space for friends to stay etc we aren't moving out of area so she will still be nearer to her friends.

[Deleted User]

I can truthfully say that, as kids, we were never asked opinions on our parents life choices - do you consult yours regularly, this idea is not one i've ever heard of.

UnderOffer

I’d probably wait until nearer exchange and you are confident everything is going through ok. When we moved our 3 children didn’t view, but they were considerable older than your daughter (teens) and knew the house by sight, however, on the day of move didn’t stop the youngest from sitting on the wrong doorstep waiting for removal van and us with keys, he couldn’t remember the correct door number! 

Aranyani

Catsacor said:

I can truthfully say that, as kids, we were never asked opinions on our parents life choices - do you consult yours regularly, this idea is not one i've ever heard of.

It doesn't sound like the 4 year old is getting a say in the decision, more that the OP wants her to see the house to make the move easier and because she is excited! 

Personally, I wouldn't take her to view, if its your house the first time you go she can sleep in her new bedroom, put her toys out etc. and its not like she knows about the viewing process and will be expecting to go! 

oystercatcher

I wouldn't necessarily make a special visit for the child, she could easily be confused seeing other peoples things in the house. My children much later me they were frightened when they looked around this house before we moved in because it was empty and unkempt, they thought it was haunted! (they are adults now, we moved 20 odd years ago)
Best idea from my point of view is on the day of the move send her to school /friend/relative, obviously explaining about the move and bring her back when familiar things have been moved in and she can see it as the new family home and her own room rather than someone else's home. You can give her a feeling of control by letting her help chose the way her room is decorated etc.
Also remember the possibly months of waiting for exchange and completion will seem like a lifetime to a 4 year old !

nora_nora

Jeepers_Creepers said:

What will you do if your child says she absolutely hates it?

Precisely. I'd be more inclined to ask Why should the child view the house rather than When. It's not like the decision is up to the 4 year old to make. Personally they'd view the house the day we moved in and lump it lol

Mickey666

[Deleted User] said:

I can truthfully say that, as kids, we were never asked opinions on our parents life choices - do you consult yours regularly, this idea is not one i've ever heard of.

I agree.  I once went to school from one house and went home to another when my parents moved.  At least they told me the new address  

hazyjo

Can't see anything to suggest they want their child's opinion.

It can be more settling for a child to know where they're moving to.

Personally I think it depends on the child and how they cope with change and how quickly they settle into strange surroundings. Some are confident, others clingy, some are very precious about their surroundings and belongings. Only you can answer that, OP.

We only moved once as kids and I was older (9), and parents bought a new build, but we walked round loads, saw every step of it being built, chose our bedrooms and decor and it was really exciting.

Wonder how I'd have coped if we'd never seen it and literally left our home one morning, prob stayed with grandparents, then gone straight into a strange/new house.