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Advice on getting money back

Long story short, my son had a school trip booked for April this year but it didn’t go ahead because of Covid. The trip was £400, my ex paid £150, i paid £250. We paid it in instalments throughout the previous year via Sims Pay. Sims pay account was in her name, we both had the login details to make payments.

The school have since issued refunds for the trip and because the school has my ex named as the main parental contact, she was given the £400 back.
My question is where do i stand on this. I am not in contact with my ex so I don’t want any suggestions please about messaging her or suggestions about family members passing on the money etc etc. I want to know if i have any legal rights with anything. I have contacted the school but they say it’s not up to them to give me my money back and that it’s a personal matter. But i feel as if the school shouldn’t have given my ex all of the money back. I paid for these instalments on my debit card through Sims Pay so I’m not happy about the fact the refund was not sent back to the original payment method i.e my debit card.

 Is there anything I can say to the school regarding money laundering or anything. I don’t want to be nasty about it but i need to say something that will make them sort this problem out and take it seriously. Were they wrong to not reimburse money through the original payment source? £250 is a lot of money to me and the school has confirmed they have given the full £400 back to her.

 Thank you for any help


  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Ultimately no, the school has returned the money to in effect the 'joint account holders'. It's up to you both to sort out
  • rainbowcloudy
    Sorry, what do you mean ‘joint account holders’ we don’t have any joint accounts.
  • Comms69
    Comms69 Posts: 14,229 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Sorry, what do you mean ‘joint account holders’ we don’t have any joint accounts.
    You do, with the school though, you both paid into the same account for your child - or did i misread?
  • [Deleted User]
     You gave no right to anything back from the school. They have repaid to the person linked to the sims pay account their job is done. 

     You know what your only options are. 
  • Marvel1
    Marvel1 Posts: 7,206 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    How did the arrangements to pay £150 and £250 start, if you are not in contact with your ex wife?
  • TBagpuss
    TBagpuss Posts: 11,205 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Name Dropper
    The school  hasn't done anything wrong, they have refunded the account holder. 
    While you don't want to talk to your ex, that is the only way you may get your money back.

    All posts are my personal opinion, not formal advice Always get proper, professional advice (particularly about anything legal!)
  • swampduck
    swampduck Posts: 962 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Maybe when your ex asks for money for issues relating to your son - you could mention that she already has £250 towards it!!
    Expect the worst, hope for the best, and take what comes!!:o
  • Silvertabby
    Silvertabby Posts: 9,155 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic First Post
    When the school trip is re-scheduled and your ex asks for your contribution ......
  • whenever
    When the next school trip pops up you'll already have paid £250 towards it then. Ok, it's not as good as getting it back now but there's evidence that you paid it and she received it so it's reasonable that she uses it to pay towards the next school trip and nothing else.
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