First Steps to Solvency

warby68

@alt80
There are very few 100% saint or 100% sinners. You and your wife sound like you've had to strike some deals with each other to get (or take) what you want in life. However you have 12 (I think) years and a son under your belts and right now she is still there when there is going to be virtually no capacity to spend freely beyond existing commitments. She 'pays' for her lifestyle with her efforts at home - they are on the high side. Perhaps she has a tipping point, perhaps not. Sounds to me like she wants a 'certain' lifestyle but not an unlimited  one. Also sounds like you've both been very unkind to the other, words and deeds - maybe not all are meant.
Anyway this is a new 'for better or for worse' stage - see how it goes. The overspending and debt need addressing regardless of where your relationship goes long term.
Perhaps its as simple as you both growing up.
Well done on the iPhone
Not so well on the 'I'm not cooking' lol, it doesn't have to be cooking - I'm sure you get it, giving her and your son some of your time is what its about.
Glad to hear your business motivation is returning.
Running your personal finances like a business is completely the right thing, even though still new for you.
Protesting the budget is futile - unless you are willing to make the bigger changes, press a bigger reset button there isn't much option. You're skint. Just as skint as Mr Average with the 3 series.
Keep going

alt80

@getmore4less Thank you - just done balance transfers in the past but 0% purchase and push extra onto the cards close to running out on the 0% deals sounds like a plan to me. The BC 0% runs out end of the year - hoping to get it clear with the sales so I don’t have to mess about with BT.

Need to make a spreadsheet dealing with the 0% dates / offset purchase against paying those close to running out.

At least it’s not the blind desperation and panic of the remo situation haha. 

@warby68 Definitely time for us both to grow up lots of water under the bridge lots of regrets on my part but the past can’t be changed just need to move on. I don’t mind cooking just not during the week lol. Happy to help weekends. 

Not sure whether I’ll pull the trigger on the BTL - it’s not a bad little house but not a lot of value to add. Weighing up whether a nice little house in a decent area which should attract a good tenant will be a good add or whether to hold out for something that needs more work and can add more value. Slim pickings round here right now and partly it would be nice to get number 10. Wouldn’t need to bridge this one straight onto BTL mortgage so an easy job.

Ha yeah I’m definitely skint right now. Plenty of people with much lower income in a better place than me.

ryanm8655

One thing to be wary of re: 0% purchase cards...you need to be really careful as it’s easy to overspend. Need to stick to a budget and plan every expense. Think about how much space you need to free up to clear your other card rather than just maxing the card for the sake of it. Budgeted spends like fuel and groceries might work but still keep track of them. Personally I’d avoid them as that’s how my debt really spiralled, 0% purchase cards that I went nuts on, plus money transfer cards and balance transfer cards. Until you’ve developed that strong mindset it’s too easy to buy things like the iPhone 12 on a 0% purchase card and think it’s ok...

Once all my debt was interest free I turned my debt busting into a game of beat the 0% expiries. I think you’ve got the right idea in try to beat that BC date by paying it off with sales. That’ll be a nice win.

I basically used the avalanche method where you target the debts in order of interest rate, highest to lowest. Except I targeted by expiry date of the 0%. It was complicated as I had done multiple transfers on some cards so I had to set out several expiries and balances on the same card. But it worked for me and led to quicker rewards as it felt like clearing I card when clearing off a £500 balance transfer on my Barclaycard or whatever.

RelievedSheff

It does sound like you are really starting to turn a corner not just with the finances but also with the family time. We all have good and bad days.

TheAble

ryanm8655 said:

alt80 said:

FML the comment was about lifestyle and if I was employed in my profession with no other income that’s the kind of money I would earn and the kind of lifestyle I would likely have. Not meant for any real analysis. House / car could easily substitute for different, salary relevant to me for reasons stated above. No I don’t think she’d leave me over a choice of car but she made no secrets about she was looking for - long term no work / family etc. Let’s face it if that’s what you’re looking for you probably aren’t going to settle for the type of lifestyle you can have for £3k/m total. I’m not dumb to that.

@ryanm8655 think I need to leave the credit alone from now on. That’s what got me in this mess in the first place ha. 

Had what I think is a serious enquiry about one of the watches so hoping that’s another £2.5k off one of the cards soon. Also seen a potential single let worth thinking about further. Not much to add to it but should attract a decent tenant. 7% gross yield so good for a single let and would be a nice little house to add. Not seen anything else yet. Started to go through the cards 0% deals tonight so I know when the deals end. I’ve taken my eye off the ball on this and need to know what I’m working with / when to look for new deals.

Yeah, £3k/month is a pretty decent salary but not one where realistically one partner can afford not to work and your kid goes to private school ha.

Not with the the private school no, but eminently achievable without.
State schools are perfectly fine in any case.

riotlady

I know you’ve mentioned a couple of times that you feel like your wife would leave you if you didn’t maintain your current level of income- I wonder if she worries that you might leave her if she doesn’t maintain her looks? Might be part of the reason she spends so much time working out and had such high grooming spends. 

Anyway, sounds like you’re doing really well both on the practical side and the emotional side, keep going!  

alt80

Haven’t pulled the trigger on the BTL, decided it wasn’t for me right now - at the moment I ideally need something I can refurb and pull the capital investment out on a remo this was not one of those. Passed it onto another investor who wants it – sourcing and ongoing management from it so happy days. Nice little house. 100% would’ve bought if I didn’t need to add value and refinance to get the next - bit frustrating but that’s life and still getting a deal from it. Don’t sort the personal stuff out going to be in a perpetual cycle of passing on good deals. 

 

@ryanm8655 I need to spend this evening/ next few crunching the figures. The point about the purchase cards was valid and avoids the BT fees but as you say only if I can be 100% disciplined with the spending / budget side. Don’t trust myself really but going to have to at some point or just going to be in the same cycle of BS. Something I’ve realised trying to pretend I don’t need to balance my (personal) books is stupid. Not and most unlikely to be footballer rich tbh from the Bendtner article I read the other day even they are not immune to it either. Nothing enough demons.

 

@relievedsheff Some days better than others definitely. Time has come I need to get this sorted once and for all move on from the card debt cycle and review what I’ve been spending on cars/ other toys. Don’t get this sorted nothing is ever going to be enough, stress through the roof and business coasting not where I want to be. Payback before the comeback time.

alt80

Spent a bit of time just now crunching the figures and 0% deals etc. Good news the enquiry on the watch has converted into a sale so that’s another £2500 off the BC balance. 

 

0% deals:

BC1 – Dec 20

BC2 – Jul 21

M&S – Jul 21

Sainsbury’s – Jan 22

MBNA – Oct 22

 

Balances remaining after payments up to end of 0% deals:

BC1 - £4200 (including watch sale)

BC2 - £5470

M&S - £3280

Sainsbury’s - £4,450

MBNA - £4,480

 

Should have another £10k in sales and everything is now up for sale. Thinking about putting wife onto £50 items next. Got a fair few things worth c.£50 or less we no longer want/ need but I’m only working off the £10k total as I know sales aren’t guaranteed. 

 

Total balance remaining – payments – sales = £11,880.

 

Still have the interest baring JL & AMEX cards. Use the AMEX for day to day spends but clearing it off and as we’re in budget this is actually happening.

 

Had a quick look at the Range Rover balloon. It’s £48.5k due April 2024. There’s no chance of being able to put any money towards it whilst the cards are being paid down and we have the BMW. Hope to be card free by the end of the 0% so working from that I’ll need to find £1800/m to pay off the RR balloon and own it outright in April 2024. 

 

Don’t really know at the moment where the additional £12k is coming from to clear the cards in the time I have. With the cards clear and BMW gone and no new debt accumulated there’s £1550/m from the cards min payments / BMW costs which does make paying the RR off feel a bit more realistic. Need to sit down with the monthly budget. Things are looking good this month - according to the Yolt app spent £2900 less than this time last month. Nothing has gone over amounts allocated but it’s been tough. Not sure I can do the £0 on clothes tbf already took out of the entertainment budget for that and almost decimated it. Thing is I can’t be spending £4/500 on clothes and buying stuff for wife and son too. 

 

Currently pay £2650/m in various debt payments cards/ cars. If I can get to the point of debt free that’s a decent salary I’ve got spare every month bit of a sobering thought. Not really panicking too much and it actually feels a bit less desperate having looked through the figures. 

warby68

This is not exactly making ends meet territory but it is one of your currently non-negotiable treats - the champagne has gone on 25% off for 6 or more at Tesco. Not sure if you actually do look for reduced prices for what you buy but this is usually a decent offer.
See, I'm not all hair shirt - if you're going to have it anyway it might as well be a tenner less  

alt80

@riotlady yeah she’s convinced I’d be off with the first love island reject that looked my way haha. Tbf I had a conversation with her about this and off the back of it she’s stopped having !!!!!! pumped into her face less money on that and less fake looking wife soon which I’m quite glad about.