First Steps to Solvency

PassElephant

You might be misjudging your wife. It isn't unusual for some men not to want children but for a woman to want to have your child and stick by you even though you have have been pretty obnoxious means she loves you. Not your money, you. 
Sometimes, when things become financially difficult, the main earner pre-empts the rejection they imagine they deserve by putting down their partner, only to be surprised that it is love that keeps their partner by their side, not money.
Your wife seems to love you. 

TheAble

"Don’t think for a second she’d stay with me if I earned £3k/m lived in a new build semi and drove a 320d though. You’ve no idea how much that hurts to know you wouldn’t have the one person who is meant to stick with you through anything but who would go if you couldn’t make the income."
I still can't work out if this whole thread is a wind-up. You're saying your wife would leave you if you earned £3k a month and drove a BMW 320d?

DayDreamerandGeneralWaster

You are assuming your wife sees your worth in terms of your wealth because that's how you see yourself .

PassElephant

TheAble said:

"Don’t think for a second she’d stay with me if I earned £3k/m lived in a new build semi and drove a 320d though. You’ve no idea how much that hurts to know you wouldn’t have the one person who is meant to stick with you through anything but who would go if you couldn’t make the income."
I still can't work out if this whole thread is a wind-up. You're saying your wife would leave you if you earned £3k a month and drove a BMW 320d?

I've thought it might be a wind up too. But if isn't @alt80 is trying to learn at least to be a better dad. Not that he's bad but he wants to be better.  
Better for us to be wrong than @alt80 not get any support. He has moved really far already.  Real or not.

TheAble

I appreciate people break up for all kinds of reasons but choice of car? And a basically ok salary? Surely not...

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

Already got rid of some of the emails.

@ryanm8655 You’re right no amount would ever be enough to satisfy me. I am making ends meet with the current budget - no new debt was the aim but right now I’m actually paying off (would be even without the sales). Just find the budget extreme and can’t make ends meet living the lifestyle I want.

Know what you mean about being satisfied by simpler things - always been cars for me there was a time that if I could lay some rubber down at the lights in my knackered E36 M3 and not break anything or get a ticking off by the local plod I was a very happy boy lol. Used to enjoy nights out / weekenders wife stopped that but used to get f**ked up too often so did need to grow up. Good times though.

@RelievedSheff You’re the one with a boat lol. Don’t think I can cut anymore tbf. 

@getmore4less I usually take her ‘old’ phone and run it until the end of the contract. Given up my phone just have the business one so not really an option. Would cost about £1.5k going by previous costs over the contract term. Asked her if she wanted one and she said she’s ok can live without it so going to leave it anyway. 

@clairebeth I can cover things as they are and make inroads into the debt just a budget I don’t want. I’m not getting rid of the Range Rover. The balloon is not accounted for yet. If I get to the point of the cards being paid I’ll look at it then or it’ll either be refinanced or I’ll buy a new RR and save for the balloon / buy on HP. Not the best I know but it is what it is now.

Always been very separate between business and personal. Yes I know how things work but never bothered to consider from a personal level. Stupid I know.

You’re right about my wife working hard at home. Don’t think for a second she’d stay with me if I earned £3k/m lived in a new build semi and drove a 320d though. You’ve no idea how much that hurts to know you wouldn’t have the one person who is meant to stick with you through anything but who would go if you couldn’t make the income. She wanted a kid, I didn’t but I do really care about him now. Also she has not worked for a long time way before son was born. Always exercised a lot and had no kind of pnd - she loves being a mum. She has everything she could want. 

Lol I’m not cooking in the week. Will help her with roast on Sunday though.

alt80 said:

Already got rid of some of the emails.

@ryanm8655 You’re right no amount would ever be enough to satisfy me. I am making ends meet with the current budget - no new debt was the aim but right now I’m actually paying off (would be even without the sales). Just find the budget extreme and can’t make ends meet living the lifestyle I want.

Know what you mean about being satisfied by simpler things - always been cars for me there was a time that if I could lay some rubber down at the lights in my knackered E36 M3 and not break anything or get a ticking off by the local plod I was a very happy boy lol. Used to enjoy nights out / weekenders wife stopped that but used to get f**ked up too often so did need to grow up. Good times though.

@RelievedSheff You’re the one with a boat lol. Don’t think I can cut anymore tbf. 

@getmore4less I usually take her ‘old’ phone and run it until the end of the contract. Given up my phone just have the business one so not really an option. Would cost about £1.5k going by previous costs over the contract term. Asked her if she wanted one and she said she’s ok can live without it so going to leave it anyway. 

@clairebeth I can cover things as they are and make inroads into the debt just a budget I don’t want. I’m not getting rid of the Range Rover. The balloon is not accounted for yet. If I get to the point of the cards being paid I’ll look at it then or it’ll either be refinanced or I’ll buy a new RR and save for the balloon / buy on HP. Not the best I know but it is what it is now.

Always been very separate between business and personal. Yes I know how things work but never bothered to consider from a personal level. Stupid I know.

You’re right about my wife working hard at home. Don’t think for a second she’d stay with me if I earned £3k/m lived in a new build semi and drove a 320d though. You’ve no idea how much that hurts to know you wouldn’t have the one person who is meant to stick with you through anything but who would go if you couldn’t make the income. She wanted a kid, I didn’t but I do really care about him now. Also she has not worked for a long time way before son was born. Always exercised a lot and had no kind of pnd - she loves being a mum. She has everything she could want. 

Lol I’m not cooking in the week. Will help her with roast on Sunday though.

Re: wife and 3k/month and 320d. Firstly, not convinced that’s true but secondly you’d also be a very different person if that was the case so she may live you for other reasons. What being a high earner signals is drive. Drive and ambition are attractive traits. So it’s that that is attractive rather than the money necessarily. Give yourself some credit ha, you are more than just possessions. You don’t earn £7k per month without drive and determination, it’s not just luck.

alt80

FML the comment was about lifestyle and if I was employed in my profession with no other income that’s the kind of money I would earn and the kind of lifestyle I would likely have. Not meant for any real analysis. House / car could easily substitute for different, salary relevant to me for reasons stated above. No I don’t think she’d leave me over a choice of car but she made no secrets about she was looking for - long term no work / family etc. Let’s face it if that’s what you’re looking for you probably aren’t going to settle for the type of lifestyle you can have for £3k/m total. I’m not dumb to that.

@ryanm8655 think I need to leave the credit alone from now on. That’s what got me in this mess in the first place ha. 

Had what I think is a serious enquiry about one of the watches so hoping that’s another £2.5k off one of the cards soon. Also seen a potential single let worth thinking about further. Not much to add to it but should attract a decent tenant. 7% gross yield so good for a single let and would be a nice little house to add. Not seen anything else yet. Started to go through the cards 0% deals tonight so I know when the deals end. I’ve taken my eye off the ball on this and need to know what I’m working with / when to look for new deals.

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

FML the comment was about lifestyle and if I was employed in my profession with no other income that’s the kind of money I would earn and the kind of lifestyle I would likely have. Not meant for any real analysis. House / car could easily substitute for different, salary relevant to me for reasons stated above. No I don’t think she’d leave me over a choice of car but she made no secrets about she was looking for - long term no work / family etc. Let’s face it if that’s what you’re looking for you probably aren’t going to settle for the type of lifestyle you can have for £3k/m total. I’m not dumb to that.

@ryanm8655 think I need to leave the credit alone from now on. That’s what got me in this mess in the first place ha. 

Had what I think is a serious enquiry about one of the watches so hoping that’s another £2.5k off one of the cards soon. Also seen a potential single let worth thinking about further. Not much to add to it but should attract a decent tenant. 7% gross yield so good for a single let and would be a nice little house to add. Not seen anything else yet. Started to go through the cards 0% deals tonight so I know when the deals end. I’ve taken my eye off the ball on this and need to know what I’m working with / when to look for new deals.

Yeah, £3k/month is a pretty decent salary but not one where realistically one partner can afford not to work and your kid goes to private school ha.

Good work on the 0% end dates, it’s hard to front up to those. I used to avoid checking all of that, likewise wouldn’t check my bank etc. I just didn’t want to know Even small things like that can help the mindset.

alt80

@ryanm8655 exactly. 

Thanks re 0% I also used to avoid checking all the time have a rough idea nothing else - same didn’t want to know. Not like that in business - cash flow is important. Suppose it is in personal life too come to think of it just never seen it that way. 

getmore4less

Avoid fee paying % options when only fee deals are around 

long term 0% purchase cards can be a better option they have no fees.

You put normal expenses on the purchase card and use the cash to reduce the debt on the ones where 0% is running out.
the transfer is a slower but saves any fees.