First Steps to Solvency

Legs21

Day 166 ✅ Absolutely amazing 👏👏👏

The holiday you were dreading seems to have done you the world of good as you’ve been so much more chilled and appreciative of the simpler things since you came back. It’s good that you are starting to appreciate what you do have rather than dwelling on what you don’t. 

Stay strong and keep moving forwards. 

alt80

Day 166

Thank you all. @foxgloves yes it's the Harrogate one. We will have been to 2 this year.

Been busy with work again but stuck with closing the computer down to have dinner with family and spend some time with them this evening. Have been getting to the gym every morning too with wife after school drop off. Not been training too hard I'm still not 100% well, keep having the allergy flare ups and whacked all the time. Pros think I'm just run down stress catching up with me; inclined to think they have a point tbh. Been advised to take things easy for the rest of the year, have a quiet Christmas no work etc just try to completely switch off for 10 days I think it is this year. 

Saw someone I haven't seen in a while probably pre-covid days was last time I saw them in person but his wife and mine see each other from time to time. Asked me why I did rehab and had the is business ok question yet again. I had to laugh tbh things better than they have been in years both business and personal yet people keep asking if my business has suffered because me not spending like a !!!!!! madman must mean I'm on the verge of bankruptcy or whatever. Wasn't ashamed to tell him I've chosen to reassess what's important to me. Realised I'm not ashamed to have chosen to go down this road. Had a discussion with wife after seeing him about this ring and spent some time showing her what selling a BTL actually means and how much that ring would cost in lost revenue over time. I was angry she ever suggested it in the first place tbh and seeing it on paper made her actually think about what she was suggesting.

RelievedSheff

You take care of yourself Alt and take it steady. Listen to the pros. 

I'm glad to see that your wife seems to have taken a step back as well and is taking note of the figures when they are written down in front of her.

Day 167 today. Not long until you have 6 months in the bag now

alt80

Day 167

Not really been very well today. Busy day, no gym this morning either. Have been taking my son to school with wife though for a few weeks now.

@RelievedSheff thank you. I am listening first time in my life haha almost like my body has just had enough wants a break. I know a fair few people who are always writing on social media how they thrive so !!!!!! well on being stressed etc. Look at it and think I used to be like that but can't do it anymore. World hasn't fallen down, staff doing well, time with my family and not just spending my time working and doing destructive stuff. Actually better off financially stepping back from the stupid hours etc fml. 

Wife has got over the excitement of it a bit but still apparently looking forward to it. She was definitely buying into having an IG wedding, follows a few bride accounts and it wasn't a thing when we got married, so she's always said she missed out on that. She follows accounts that 100% normalises things that tbh aren't even viable to a !!!!!! lot of the population, me included tbf one account she follows the girl is always wearing six figures in jewellery and I'm not talking the same stuff all the time and easily £10k in clothes every day good 6 or 7 different cars all £100k+. The times I hear so and so on IG has got a new whatever or been to somewhere !!!!!! expensive like she's best !!!!!! mates with these girls because she follows their accounts and have exchanged a few messages idk off the self destructive stuff I'm just finding it all a bit !!!!!! empty.

Sun_Addict

Alt the thing is with social media is that there are so many filters etc out there that anyone can say they are doing/wearing anything and who would know whether it’s true or not. Your wife has a good way to go yet to catch up with your way of thinking but she’s getting there slowly. 

I hope you feel better soon, you’re doing really well on a lot of fronts. 

Purplelady65

Hope you’re feeling better soon. I think people can only cope with stress for so long before it impacts on their mental and physical health. That’s a great development that you’re listening to your body. You are probably still recovering from all the years of not looking after yourself plus also you pushed through fatigue for a long time by using stimulants which you don’t do anymore. So you might feel tired but physically and mentally you’re in such a better place than you were. 

Re the wedding renewal vows it sounds as if your wife is coming round a bit. If she’s following people on instagram with such ridiculous amounts of wealth no wonder she has a skewed view around earnings and wealth. As she’s into all that stuff I wouldn’t think it would be helpful to spend her time looking at ostentatious displays of wealth. Yes I agree it does all sound a bit empty. I find that quite funny that she feels she’s missed out on her wedding as instagram wasn’t around when she got married! 

Well done also on your plans to start attending your son’s school for concerts e.t.c. Although it might feel uncomfortable at first I’m sure the pleasure and enjoyment you and your family will get from you joining in will be worth it. I wouldn’t worry about having to give a reason for not drinking if alcohol is being served. Yes, you could say you’re driving or you could just say you don’t really drink much as it doesn’t suit you or you don’t really enjoy it much anymore. You do sound so much better being AF. I was reading recently that there are more and more people who don’t drink alcohol more so in younger people. I was amazed a few weeks ago when I was in sainsburys how many aisles there were of alcohol free beer, wine, cider and even spirits! 

Well done with everything! I’d keep the daily count going as it’s a massive achievement! 

ladyholly

What your wife needs to understand is that many of the women on IG are doing a job and are being paid for it. From what I understand they are lent or given a lot of the stuff they wear as advertising for the companies. They are not living real life on social media. There are very few people who can afford to live that life.

RelievedSheff

There are several documentaries about social media and the fakeness of it all. Perhaps it would be beneficial for your wife to watch them.

She might understand then just how fake these accounts are. 

stymied

I thought she was off Instagram - sounds like it’s crept back in to a damaging extent :-(

alt80

Thanks all.

Well last day being 40 through. Working tomorrow but sister has said she's coming up to NG for lunch. I've already told her I'm not having a drink and planning to have an AF birthday. In-laws have insisted they are taking us out for dinner. My MIL has a habit of ordering cakes/ balloons etc. They are quite aware I really don't want any of that lol. I've managed to get away with it through covid last year and prior to that them knowing I wouldn't go out to dinner with them for my birthday. Was ok until my wife went to bed tonight and it's just !!!!!! killing me rn how much of my life I've spend being a !!!!!!.

Re social media she isn't on IG as much as she was but is enough. She wanted something a bit better in life than winding up with me; I know she follows the accounts on there thinking it should be her with that lifestyle and she could have done better idk why but she has chosen to stay with me, meant to be putting all this behind us - she knows I just can't do it anymore and never could fund a lifestyle she'd like, nowhere close and tbh I'm not going to make it there either. I don't see me getting into the 0.1% territory tbh. I am having to learn to live a life within my means the other road was killing me, I'm doing well with it tbf - it is possible and it's not miserable. Appreciating what I have whilst looking for growth and working towards some of my goals rn away from access to personal money is good for me. Not easy but a lot better for me and may be for anyone else who struggles with self destructive spending. Some of the accounts I'm sure are fake / contrived / filtered or whatever I know some of the property accounts are absolute BS. She's massively into following jewellery accounts rn and sure she forgets about her friends and other mums she knows from school real life basically lol. 

Re health I still don't sleep as well as I'd like to and years pushing through abusing stimulants hasn't helped me know that much. Try to reserve a bit of energy for my family each day, my son doesn't trust I'll consistently be there for him it breaks me but I don't have a track record of being a dad to him really. Try to hold on to if I maintain consistency I will help to set him up better for adulthood than the road he could have been easily heading down and one day the regret might lessen through memories of better times. Idk maybe just wishful thinking.