First Steps to Solvency

ladyholly

Alt   No such thing as a perfect parent. Remember that if nothing else.

alt80

Day 79 - going to be a quiet weekend. 

Plan to have another lunch out but apart from that no spends planned. Wife had free nails girl call her this morning can my Mrs do her nails because she’s going out tonight. Wife told her the answer is no or if she wants her to do them this weekend the fee will be double what her paying clients pay. Really proud of her tbh this girl has taken the !!!!!! for far too long. Same one who wanted her to buy a load of new kit. 

But of work planned for the weekend but only about 2hrs worth in total. Having a go at switching off email notifications again.

@lady1964 thank you. Your post gives me something to think about and thanks for being honest re the parenting idk I’m the first to admit I don’t find it easy and tbh other elements of life I’ve not really struggled with so do start thinking there’s def something wrong with me. I know a lot of things I do aren’t healthy. Need to get back on the wagon with the tasks from the pros. Hasn’t gone completely but I’m not really doing enough. Revert to type lol but not done fighting yet ha. 

@ladyholly you’re 100% right mate I know. Perfectionist thoughts half is fear of !!!!!! his life up I think. Anyway should get on and get ready for a walk. First outing for the dog in the EQC lol.

getmore4less

A lot of those supposedly nearer perfect parent will be the ones pressurizing their kids, forced music lesson, doing subjects they don't want with expectations of straight A's,  then end up in careers they don't really want to do. 

You can only get better at being a parent by being a parent,  hiding back behind work in office prison won't get you there.

What you might be better doing when it seems to be getting a bit too much is take the opportunities to share the load with the inlaws by hanging out with them, watch listen and learn(not the old routine of staying at home and working)

The Greece trip is the way it is for all the right reasons, baring a serious amount of steps backwards it is looking like it will go ahead which is great.
ITs going to be like the other things that triggered you before you did them, once there you will have a great time and come home wondering what was all the fuss about, your son needs to see your parents as much as you do.

alt80

Day 79 in the bag. I can't believe tomorrow will be day 80 absolutely buzzing about that. Not had a drink tonight either AF Saturday night in with the chamomile tea haha I'd have !!!!!! laughed at that a few years ago but idk what's wrong with me, had a lovely evening ha.

Have spent some money today just on parking and lunch - days out are a lot cheaper now lol. Had a good day too - bit of a drive out in the EQC into Derbyshire. Took my son to see the big mills in Belper and Cromford. Lunch in a cafe and very decent walk with the dog. He was OK in the EQC and it performed faultlessly keep waiting for it to go wrong, not gonna lie I'm really proud of it every journey it makes and returns without any issues. Made my wife laugh though I said to her in the car we're like pioneers, making history and son will look back on this when he's older and tell his kids. Her response 'you're not Captain Cook, our son won't tell his kids what a !!!!!! legend you are because you drove an electric Merc to Derbyshire' she makes me laugh though tbf I probably did deserve that lol.

@getmore4less yeah fair few those at my son's school the kids come round here to be kids lol. I've always said I'd love my son to come into my business but if he doesn't that's his choice 100%. 

I'm making some big changes to my lifestyle mate. You're absolutely right re I retreat to my office idk suppose it's 'safe' in my head when the stress starts getting a bit much. My in-laws have been good to me tbf idk why like they've been waiting for me to be ready to participate in family time with my Mrs or something.

You're probably right re Greece - it's edging close and stressing me out when I think about it. We are all double jabbed so I think it's not going to be a problem so far as the Covid situation is concerned. I can't let my mum and dad down really they want to see us. Tbh idk what's wrong with me why I'm having a lot of trouble in my head with not just diving in getting on with things - not like I'm someone who hasn't taken big risks in the past and none of this stuff is even risky, it just sets my anxiety levels to the !!!!!! max.

Willowtree222

Can you pinpoint the trigger? I always try to do that and then I can usually hone it down and manage the anxiety. Just finding which aspect of it is causing the stress might help you deal with it. 

Sounds like another lovely day!

alt80

@Willowtree222 it was, thanks. 

It's a lot of things mate, like I need to find a whole new way of living my life. I've missed out on a lot over the years really. Let the self destructive stuff take over and sometimes I still do - my addictions are multiple if I'm honest with myself. It's things I get a buzz from generally not just drugs - spending/ earning/ working/ coffee that one possibly is just a bit of a !!!!!! habit rather than an addiction but can't !!!!!! keep myself away from that sometimes rest I know it's compulsive; chasing that buzz of making milestone deals/ investments in property/ decisions generally/ buying things idk it's really hard to explain but like my brain has been working for nothing but a big !!!!!! hit of dopamine for nearly all my life. I still !!!!!! search for a hit sometimes, no access to money so rules out everything but working/ earning - don't need the 'nice !!!!!! habit to have' comments before anyone starts. I pray every !!!!!! night I'll never touch cocaine again. I still don't believe in god but I lie in bed and pray I have the strength to get through the next day without touching it.

I'm serious about sorting my life out but it's not linear progression. Know I'm very lucky to have the professional support I do tbh I'm !!!!!! using it lots more than I should maybe idk.

getmore4less

You could also try to look at the other way round.

Why don't you get a buzz from these planned trips(short&long) in advance when in practice the end up being great.
Focus on the positive elements.

We finally got something booked that will be a more normal holiday, buzzing getting ready, looking for another one.

Sun_Addict

I’m glad you enjoyed your day out. I bet your son is loving the trips in different cars - and his new improved dad. 

You need to try and get a buzz from the little things as mentioned above. 

Day 80 today 🥳 You should be very proud of yourself, amazing achievement. 

RelievedSheff

Day 80 what an achievement. Day 81 today. Keep going.

What did your son make of Cromford?

Don't think it will be long before we go back there. It is a lovely place to visit.

Willowtree222

You’re using the support as much as you need. That’s never going to be too much.

The addictions will always be there it’s just you are now managing them differently. 

All parents mess up at certain points and handle things wrong. There’s no book as everything and everyone is so different. 

Look how far you’ve come from the early part of your diary. 

Keep going, you’re doing fab. It isn’t easy but you’re getting there.