First Steps to Solvency

ladyholly

Your worth does not come from what you own it comes from the person you are. i.e a good caring landlord, a husband who is sorting his family life out, a caring father and although you never mention it I suspect a decent employer. Forget the stuff concentrate on the other things.

ryanm8655

My net worth is about 3 grand lmfao!!! That’s !!!!!! depressing...

theoretica

BTLs may not be in your personal name, but both they and your main business are valuable things you own - though with tax complications to working out the value. I classify them as part of your net worth.

alt80

@Bargainhunter30 / @ladyholly thank you. Think it’s important I get this in my head from the personal side I was 100% living an unsustainable lifestyle.

@getmore4less / @theoretica yeah I know it should count valuation (- liabilities) of main business/ portfolio/ other property etc and would look significantly better. Whilst I appreciate I should have included I’ve deliberately left all of that off 100% keeping the personal away from the business for the purposes of this. No intention of any of the business assets or business itself being sold and tbh I need to eat some humble pie mate - makes me see things are not great on the personal side and rein things in a bit. Got caught up in the non-adjusted calc before felt like I’d made it and 100 doesn’t help me to rein the spending/ ego in for me that’s all it is when no chance I’d be liquidating it anyway. Hope that makes sense, does in my head lol.

@ryanm8655 just considering the personal stuff only thing I have of any worth is my res home mate as you can see rest is a load of debt ha. Always been that way for me and you’ve got a few more years on your side too mate lived more of a life by the sounds of it too and ready to smash it.

FootyFanDan

Awesome stuff getting to 30 days pal!! You have achieved a milestone I don't think you or many here that cheer you along thought you could make so congratulations, I won't make to much comment re the wife as I want my post to be a positive one but given what you are up against the achievement is even better! 

stymied

So when you hand back the BMW your net worth goes up by 7.5K. Do you feel any closer to it being the right time for it?

alt80

@FootyFanDan Thanks mate, yeah surprised myself definitely tbt. Would like to extend my thanks to everyone don’t think I said it earlier. The support means a lot to me, I’m really grateful probably sounds a bit sad but being on here has really helped me to change my outlook on things. Definitely sped up some thinking that was already starting to happen lockdown 1 but never quite got my head in the right place. 

Someone said on another diary something about my position as an employer maybe people hold back when speaking to me irl. I’ve never really considered that to be the case but whilst I do get on with staff well, I think there is an element of professional distance I’d not really considered. All my other mates not many ha apart from the one I know with the MG have a lot more than I do and most do a lot of drugs. Work/ money no real issue for them, they’re on a higher level 100%. I went into business and became an employer quite young really. Always think I ‘got lucky’ with a few breaks early on, didn’t really ever go through a stage of struggling work wise and took every opportunity. Struggle with the self worth on the business side too sometimes think absolutely anyone could do what I do just had some good fortune. Few things people have said on here made me think maybe I am good at something not in a grandstanding type way, in a genuine type way maybe. Looked for that all my life, being able to say I’m good at something, made it for me that is.

The mental health challenges are nothing new to me, just got worse and worse over time and I didn’t start to get proper treatment for the problems until it got really bad. Trying to own that now, not sure I’ll ever be fully ‘cured’ which is what I was looking for but hope to get to a place it’s manageable. Tbt when my wife found out she was pregnant with a boy I spent the rest of her pregnancy and well into his infant years actively trying to keep as far away as I could - wife thought I didn’t want him/ them I was worried a boy would be more likely to take cues off me. Only really lockdown 1 I allowed myself to bond with him, still have moments I dread he’s going to grow up to be a !!!!!! like me but am dealing with that in the counselling too. Used to have moments I thought about leaving but guilt over being an absent father would stop me.

Means a lot to get this advice from a bunch of strangers tbh no one got a horse in the race or know me so doesn’t matter, makes me think people from all sorts of walks of life on here - don’t get me wrong meet people from all sorts of backgrounds all the time but they’re employees/ tenants/ clients/ family/ friends/ acquaintances/ whatever all I need to face at some point haha and I’ve always cared too much about image. 

alt80

stymied said:

So when you hand back the BMW your net worth goes up by 7.5K. Do you feel any closer to it being the right time for it?

@stymied ha very true been having a bit of a moment thinking about keeping it today know it’s not the right thing to do though.

enthusiasticsaver

Goodness lots going on over on your diary today @alt80. I won't go on about your wife as I think I have already said most in the past. I did wonder if the BS she was giving you was a reaction to provoke you and I agree that you both seem to have fallen into a pattern of you infantilising her by protecting her from real life (possibly something her parents did too) and then showering her with gifts when you do something bad like the substances or whatever. I still think you need to give her some responsibility for part of the budget so she feels she has some control like personal spends in a separate account so long as you also do the same. So household account for bills and debt and  entertainment and you apportion a certain amount to you and her. Yes it means you can't control her spends but she has to stay in budget. It worked for us and relieved me of so much stress as I no longer had to chase my DH for details of his spends. Your choice though and given you are going to be using a 0% purchase card for variable spends so you can meet the deadlines on the CCs it might be something to consider when those are cleared. 

Useful exercise on the net net worth and I have always done this as I think I said right at the beginning of your diary. You can't say you have a 7 figure portfolio when it is heavily leveraged and now you are thinking clearly you can see that. The cars bring it down but you know that. I do think you are selling yourself short though as from the sound of it you have two successful businesses which provide you with an income most people dream about so you have to include that too. Any pension? Get the personal finances running like your business and you could well get those cars for cash with a substantial discount. Obviously not many have 6 figures in cash but some of us have it in investments which can be quickly turned to cash so still working for you. You have a good head for figures and seem good at the planning so at some point you should learn about investing, stocks and shares isas and SIPPs which are the most tax efficient way of investing particularly for high earners. When I say investing I mean a properly thought out investment strategy not stock picking or currency trading. That's for the future though when the debt is gone and you have an emergency savings buffer. 

Big congratulations on month 1 of staying sober and you deserve an award for dealing with the upsets with your wife. I think she needs to really think about what she wants from her life and how she can take responsibility to make that happen. 

ryanm8655

enthusiasticsaver said:

Goodness lots going on over on your diary today @alt80. I won't go on about your wife as I think I have already said most in the past. I did wonder if the BS she was giving you was a reaction to provoke you and I agree that you both seem to have fallen into a pattern of you infantilising her by protecting her from real life (possibly something her parents did too) and then showering her with gifts when you do something bad like the substances or whatever. I still think you need to give her some responsibility for part of the budget so she feels she has some control like personal spends in a separate account so long as you also do the same. So household account for bills and debt and  entertainment and you apportion a certain amount to you and her. Yes it means you can't control her spends but she has to stay in budget. It worked for us and relieved me of so much stress as I no longer had to chase my DH for details of his spends. Your choice though and given you are going to be using a 0% purchase card for variable spends so you can meet the deadlines on the CCs it might be something to consider when those are cleared. 

Useful exercise on the net net worth and I have always done this as I think I said right at the beginning of your diary. You can't say you have a 7 figure portfolio when it is heavily leveraged and now you are thinking clearly you can see that. The cars bring it down but you know that. I do think you are selling yourself short though as from the sound of it you have two successful businesses which provide you with an income most people dream about so you have to include that too. Any pension? Get the personal finances running like your business and you could well get those cars for cash with a substantial discount. Obviously not many have 6 figures in cash but some of us have it in investments which can be quickly turned to cash so still working for you. You have a good head for figures and seem good at the planning so at some point you should learn about investing, stocks and shares isas and SIPPs which are the most tax efficient way of investing particularly for high earners. When I say investing I mean a properly thought out investment strategy not stock picking or currency trading. That's for the future though when the debt is gone and you have an emergency savings buffer. 

Big congratulations on month 1 of staying sober and you deserve an award for dealing with the upsets with your wife. I think she needs to really think about what she wants from her life and how she can take responsibility to make that happen. 

Exactly my thoughts and I guess my own net worth is less depressing when I consider my pensions 😂