First Steps to Solvency

getmore4less

RelievedSheff said:

getmore4less said:

Yep not the best another split sleep of 9hr a single tends to be less. 
10:30pm-3am 4.5
6am-9:30am 3.5

That will do as beer starts at 2:15 kickoff today. 

Also took 2 things out of the wish lists bought them
One had droped ~30%(kitchens scales) the other never gone down(filters for the vaccum) and we will need them soon. 

Nice 1kg dry aged beef rib  to slow cook
We got a big bag of parsnips really cheap during the week so will cook them handy for snacking.
Few bits round the house and 2 matches should keep us busy today. 

What time do you want me for dinner? 

That sounds beautiful 😍

Just prepared the 3kg of parsnips(they were 21p) even with a y-peeler managed to cut my finger, that usually happens when I do them after the beer has started.
Going to be simple meal today Beef, parsnip, sweet potato and some regular potato that's it.

I will have to freeze some of the parsnips there are just too many, even as nibbles for few days.

Humdinger1

alt80 said:

Really busy day on the work front today started 8am had 30 mins for lunch, finished 7.30pm. None stop and not planned - one of my staff now awaiting a Covid result lol. I inherited a load a of res jobs FML looking round those today makes my res home look like a !!!!!! palace haha love it really lol. Now just zonked in front of TV and on here ha.

@ryanm8655 yeah thought it was just me too tbh re the minutes/ hours to wake up thing. Wife never experienced it. Know I’m mental so not commenting on that mate ha. 

@getmore4less haha 4.30am FML mate only time I’m up at that time I’ve been up all night. Actually didn’t do too bad for the sleep last night thanks. Good !!!!!! job lol.

Thanks re finances. I’ve got a reminder going off Sunday - too much other stuff to keep me occupied before then.

Iswym re evening/ weekends now thanks, yeah sounds a good plan to me.

Every single unit that I accept an offer in that damn block like a weight gone from my mind. No massive profit, doesn’t even matter tbh like end of an era and start of something a bit better tbh mate. Hall looking on track, have a few irons in the fire re projects and also passed on some deals for management.

@RelievedSheff can only dream of that much sleep lol. Don’t really listen to the ‘need to sleep signals’ tbh just power through it most of the time sometimes with a bit of help but those days trying to move away from. Probably should try to embrace the need to sleep rather than fight it all the time - done that for as long as I can remember tbh even as a kid was a nightmare for going to bed at a decent time. Getting too old for it now I think.

Tbh with Covid I’ve used it as an opportunity for debt payment. Actually dreading everything opening again, don’t want to go mental. Don’t want temptations of shops / restaurants / holidays / nights out etc. Massive stressor thinking about the lockdown ending for me right now.

@alt80 since first travelling on business 25+ years ago, I've suffered from alternating good and dreadful sleep patterns.  The things that have helped me most are 1. Being grateful for the sleep I did get, by reminding myself that I'd soon be able to catch up and 2.  Appreciating the stillness of the night, almost seeing it as a gift.  I know this must sound barking, but once I took the anguish out of it, it was so much easier to drift back off.  Keep going, you are doing brilliantly Humdinger 

alt80

Really not been well today. Know it’s the lack of sleep catching up with me. Wife took me to a garden centre not too far away this afternoon £70 !!!!!! up the wall as son wanted stuff for his bedroom and wife gives in too quickly and I was feeling too ill/ tired to say no tbh. Fell to sleep in the car after putting the seat on maybe that’s what I need to do go out there, put the seat on and go to bed in the Range like a !!!!!! tramp haha.

Been thinking about some of these family trips etc - catch 22 for me seems like a good idea but doing that too much would affect the balloon pay off. Wife would definitely like us to do more as a family post lockdown. I’m concerned about the guilt element really trying to abstain from spending same way as staying off the chang tbh 100 staying away lol not entirely sustainable really but got back from garden centre filled the spends sheet in, red for bad spending ha and felt !!!!!! devastated that could have been a little more off the o/d which I’m currently looking to be able to be ahead as entertainment/ grocery spends are low this month being lockdown again. Had to get on the chill app for 10 mins tbh just thinking about the world opening up again, wife thinks I’ve !!!!!! lost it. Keeps saying if the cards are paid who cares about it taking a bit longer to fully pay off the RR. Thinks I’m killing myself for it and being obsessive. Can’t win good day on the family/ marriage front generally but can’t get her to see I want to have a very quiet three or so years and walk out of it owning my car outright, no cards, business growth, better life. Days I don’t even want to spend money on eating would rather pay the debts than put it in my stomach haha.

@getmore4less Think I’d just about got to sleep by the time you posted mate. Will have a look at the series. Don’t know how you find the time for so much TV, retired probably lol.

FML on the beer before lunch ha suppose it is the weekend and I’m still on the sober February haha.

Dinner sounds good to me too mate.

@Humdinger1 Thank you really trying to put the effort in. Definitely trying to be grateful for the sleep I do get, still doing the chill app too which does help a bit just not always mind can filter it out. Will try the night thing that doesn’t sound barking to me sounds like it could work tbh thanks.

theoretica

Sounds like you need to think about organising family trips which don't involve spending temptations - for any of the three of you.  Hills or beaches rather than shops - though maybe not in this weather!

Does your son have a stash of decent quality outgrown clothes and other stuff?  That wouldn't fetch a huge amount but would probably sell.

alt80

Tbf to wife she took me there to get out with son (he loved it) and somewhere I could just go and sit in the car if I wasn’t up to walking around - really have been that bad today, slept more or less all morning still had a splitting headache at 2pm. Not had a drop of booze or anything else either but this is what sleeping badly does to me over a few days. Have to get through the week with a lot of coffee in the morning and a fair few paracetamol. Not how I want to carry on living my life.

There are some nice walks around here (can’t go too far with covid of course). Beaches a long way.

Re son’s clothes, on wife’s to do list not got loads as she is fairly good at throwing them out/ selling them.

RelievedSheff

A headache can be a sign of dehydration. Try drinking some water before reaching for the coffee or the paracetamol. 

We need to go to the garden centre in the next month or so to get some plants for the back garden. Know that won't be a cheap visit! 

getmore4less

With catchup sleeps you have to be careful not to over do them.
It can cause the drowsy feelings to go on longer but you can't sleep later.

I did a 12:30am-7am today, should be good for Wales Ireland with a 3pm KO(1st beer) 
Going to need a power nap evening as I do like to try to watch Superbowl and that is a 11:30  ~3am job
If I get to 1/2 time I count that as a win.


Good point about hydration, the body is quite good at regulating overdose of that stuff.
(unless you go real crazy on it and it can do harm).

Yesterdays spends need to be talked about at the next budget meeting they have to come from somewhere if they were not in the plan.

IT does highlight the need to have things like that in the plan and I also think you need to consider the getaways as part of the budget for the rest of the year if we can get out.

The problem with £0 in the plan for things is you end up spending* anyway and other stuff has to give,  with an amount you can are changing the decisions for a yes/no spend to a this/that spend  for a similar thing.

if you stick say  £1k in the budget for getaways for the rest of the year.

You are now choosing could be one big blowout weekend for £1k or maybe 4 trips at ~£250 each or 20 days out at £50 each.



I am confused how can a kid spend £70 in a garden centre?


I worked in a place that had project cycles, and there was part of that cycle that was quite variable and difficult to estimate so the top boss would always set it to zero in the plan.

Problem is that it would always take longer than zero and being near the end was also as risk of starting late.
every project overran and impacted the start of the next one and often made that phase that was set to zero need more time which was a never ending cycle.

Same will happen with your budget if you don't include the things that are going to happen anyway.

You cannot stay in lockdown mode so budget for some going out, then you have a goal to under spend with creative ideas.
If you don't you will have a cycle of frustration, disappointment and adjustments.

Purplelady65

Wife would definitely like us to do more as a family post lockdown.
Can’t win good day on the family/ marriage front generally but can’t get her to see I want to have a very quiet three or so years and walk out of it owning my car outright, no cards, business growth, better life. Days I don’t even want to spend money on eating would rather pay the debts than put it in my stomach haha.
Could you not agree a monthly budget for family fun days out / experiences?  I understand you want to get the debts paid off ASAP but it does seem a bit extreme that you're prepared to not spend any money on family experiences/ holidays for the next three years so that you can have everything paid off especially if your wife is keen to do more as a family post lockdown. Maybe try and be a bit kinder to yourself and acknowledge the progress you are making. If it takes a bit longer is that such a bad thing if you get to have the opportunity to create memories along the way? You've mentioned a few times how you really enjoyed your day out with your son. Days out don't have to cost a lot as theoretica has suggested if you go to beaches and the countryside and avoid shops that's all free. Things like Go Ape you can do in a day trip and wouldn't cost any more than the items bought in the garden centre yesterday and probably more memorable. Hiring bikes, rowing boats e.t.c. are all very reasonable. 

FootyFanDan

I totally agree with @Purplelady65 you need to somehow find it inside yourself to acknowledge just how much progress you have made. It seems like going all out to hit the debt is going to make other parts that are been sacrificed suffer. Ideally I know you would like to have debt cleared asap but on your level of income there is certainly room to get a large portion of debts cleared whilst still creating nice family memories. I think finding this balance will help you relief the stress as you know the debt is coming down whilst you are still getting family time. I know how you feel though as at the beginning I felt every spare penny had to go to debt and i would not be happy with myself if that £50 quid I treated us to a day out with ended up going over budget. It is a tough balance to strike but defo worth thinking about, obviously has to be within reason haha....I am not advocating a huge spending spree lol

It certainly seems like the kid is enjoying the time spent together when it happens mate. Keep on going the transformation you are making is positive

@getmore4less halftime at superbowl would defo be classed as a win haha

alt80

Something I do at night which isn’t helpful - replay all my decisions over the day/ week/ months/ years lie in bed working out where I’d be if I hadn’t done/ bought x/ y/ z. Don’t trust myself anymore know where I’ve let things get to and need to overcome the shame of it all. 100 know that’s not helpful, doesn’t allow me to sleep or move on from this. Finally get to sleep when I’m so exhausted I can’t fight it anymore. Promise myself every night I’ll go to bed early, go in chill app, fall to sleep and get up feeling better. Doesn’t happen. Recently have started sleeping in the day and really bad headaches. Don’t think it’s withdrawal from the stuff now either, just bad habits. 

Paranoid I’m not going to get through the coming week definitely craving a hit 100 it’s the sleep thing and feeling whacked all the time - managed just over three weeks after my last promise I wouldn’t do it again so also conscious of that. Not even making promises to wife now just getting through each day one at a time and engaging with the help. Don’t ever want to go down that road again tbt just feel it jeopardises everything for me so need to get the sleep sorted hope I can get some energy back. Even said to wife yesterday I could have chronic fatigue syndrome or something else wrong with me that could be worth checking out, she told me not to be ridiculous and if the medical appointments start again she’s not going to be happy about that lol. Back on the exercise tomorrow hopefully that’ll work a bit.

Things good on the business front. Really good, every time I’m closer to exiting the block seems like I’ve !!!!!! made it tbh not even in an arrived type way just a relief. Things really good on the marriage/ family front right now despite feeling awful - don’t want to lose that. Lucky to have a family. Really I thought losing them was a foregone conclusion always been waiting for my wife telling me this is it had enough of my behaviour ha. Maybe won’t if I sort the behaviour out but that never really crossed my mind apart from odd times of regret. Been thinking about my res home and previous frustration realise I still love living here, few times this past week driven through the front gates so grateful it’s mine and lucky to call this place home. The mates I look up have a lot more than me, always have mainly family money and I’ve always felt like a loser beside them but for me it was a dream to live in one of these houses for a lot of years properly had my heart set on one through all the times I lived with back to brick projects, camping stoves, no central heating. !!!!!! madness in a lot of ways, hard to live with at some stages and some of the reason I used to go out at weekends getting wasted tbt. Realised this house represents something good for me not more of the self destructive stuff that I’d convinced myself it was. Yeah I’d have more units if I was prepared to live in much smaller house in a much worse area but need to have something imo others may disagree. Bought sensibly not stretched on LTV too. About £330k equity in the place know it’s not a fortune but I’m actually pleased with that - not bad for where I started imo. Yeah I’d like the next level, always going to be like that but trying to be a bit more thankful for what I’ve got and I still love it here feel lucky, tbh long way to fall. Going to try to use this as a reminder there’s some good things in my life - too much blow, could lose the lot. Tempted everyday when the sleep is this bad and I’m tired in the day but I know it’s not worth it for a bit of time feeling ‘better’. 

Thanks for all the advice on here - really appreciated and helped me to see I have a future when I thought I didn’t and things are not that bad for me. Really can’t thank some people on here enough tbh really made me think. If I was 100 honest with myself really I think but spent too much time looking up, trying to compete with a few mates who don’t even need to work to have a lot more than I could even dream of rather than working with what I do have and levelling up sustainably. 

@RelievedSheff thanks don’t think it’s dehydration tbh but probably do drink too much coffee and not enough water. Still on the decaf after lunch so it’s not the stimulants stopping me from sleeping. 

@getmore4less could well be overdoing the catch up sleeps mate. Wife thinks I need to go to bed and get up same time everyday no matter how much sleep she reckons it’ll sort it. Idk won’t stop my mind from racing late at night. 

Might watch six nations this afternoon good call. Son will enjoy it, wife and I not big rugby fans but still enjoy watching or going to the odd game.

The spends don’t put us over budget for variables, not even close. Actually should be coming in under budget. Tbh I don’t quite get how to properly cash flow for personal finances it’s work in progress - certainly in my case it varies massively too so that’s the idea of having the variable total for each month including groceries/ coffee/ entertainment/ whatever rather than the individual pots type budgeting. Suppose I shouldn’t feel I can mentally decide I’m not spending to the limit of it and could spend less with surplus going on the debts. What you were saying before about the income hitting my current account being for family not for units just not for family for debts in my head. Same type of thing really I know but just see £1k or whatever for postlockdown holiday/ weekends/ days as a waste could be another £1k !!!!!! off the card balance there. Keep putting all the ‘pots’ into the debt like I am with getting rid of this overdraft and going smash getting the cards gone and the RR paid for can even keep the BMW so problem solved there too. BIK for anything I fancy is a !!!!!! joke so not really working going through business same reasons accountant advised not to put RR through. Just want to be done with the debts, clean slate iyswim. Would be nice to know I had no credit card debt and the RR was fully paid for still think they are my goals for next 3 years.

As for what son wanted - some little plants for his room (won’t look after them ha but different story), wife bought some pots to put them it sensible tbf they were in those plastic things and we don’t want soil in the room and three canvas prints of animals. Again for his room. Also wanted to buy the dog a £20 dog toy haha wife did put a stop to that. The dog has about £300 of dog toys he doesn’t play with, just likes rope pull thing and tennis balls so win win there we have a frugal dog lol.

@Purplelady65/ @FootyFanDan possibly struggling with this family days thing a bit as tbh weekends used to be send wife to in-laws with son and go into town. Not £10k in JL every Saturday lol but either hit the shops or meet up with my mate I was going to do JV with. Didn’t really do family stuff, she did it with her mum and dad haha probably another reason in-laws hate me. My son really likes me being around tbh think it’s better for me too and actually do enjoy it just don’t get the same buzz.