First Steps to Solvency

alt80

@RelievedSheff 100% know I need to put the effort in too. Seems too much sometimes did get on the chill app and worked through the afternoon so far. Need to stop overthinking about stuff panicking about my life becoming boring. 

Need to probably stop talking to JV mate tbh too. Stupidly agreed to let him stay over post-lockdown and go out out one weekend !!!!!! knows why I did that. Wife will go !!!!!! mental if he turns up here tbt.

RelievedSheff

Well that's one huge mistake!!

Sure you can make your excuses as to why it can't happen though.

alt80

Yeah probably need to make my excuses felt a bit sorry for him tbh. Lockdown he’s been stuck with his elderly parents, lives middle of !!!!!! nowhere, not seen his kids and the ex giving him a load of grief from what he’s told me. Though how much of that is her fed up of him calling at stupid hours idk tbf. Taking the flat conv on on his own too. Going to need all the luck he can get tbh I’m reluctant to get involved if I’m honest but probably will have to - I’m ‘lucky enough’ (his words ha) to manage his portfolio.

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

@RelievedSheff 100% know I need to put the effort in too. Seems too much sometimes did get on the chill app and worked through the afternoon so far. Need to stop overthinking about stuff panicking about my life becoming boring. 

Need to probably stop talking to JV mate tbh too. Stupidly agreed to let him stay over post-lockdown and go out out one weekend !!!!!! knows why I did that. Wife will go !!!!!! mental if he turns up here tbt.

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about that. That's a long way off and you can think of a million excuses not to. I've had friends similar to this guy in the past and every now and then have made some sort of plan to catch up and I usually come up with an excuse knowing that things will go down a path that I don't want them to. Cross that bridge when it comes to it.

ryanm8655

alt80 said:

Yeah probably need to make my excuses felt a bit sorry for him tbh. Lockdown he’s been stuck with his elderly parents, lives middle of !!!!!! nowhere, not seen his kids and the ex giving him a load of grief from what he’s told me. Though how much of that is her fed up of him calling at stupid hours idk tbf. Taking the flat conv on on his own too. Going to need all the luck he can get tbh I’m reluctant to get involved if I’m honest but probably will have to - I’m ‘lucky enough’ (his words ha) to manage his portfolio.

Have also fallen into the trap of feeling sorry for people like this ha, so can relate there too. I like to think I'd help anyone but one thing I used to do a lot of was helping others to my own detriment. Need to look out for yourself and your family first and foremost.

alt80

@ryanm8655 thanks, I've got a few toxic mates like this well tbh most mates I have are the same. Could blame the inlaws for them getting us on this calendar - today was check in with a mate how they're getting on haha. Did say to him it'll be a night on the booze only but know that won't be what it is after I've had a few tbh. Actually told my wife this afternoon and that I'll put it off/ drop out nearer the time. Need the accountability ha.

alt80

Had chance to have a look at the 0% deals that are running out in July. Can get to the point of owing £1.1k at the point the 0% ends. This is clearing the o/d down to £1k (0%), throwing all ‘saving’ from the card I’ve already cleared / mortgage payment saving and all ‘pots’ (EF/ holidays/ presents etc etc). Yeah I know some on here won’t think that’s a great idea but would rather get a 0% purchase when need be tbh. Accounts for no sales. Alternatively considering taking a director’s loan for the balance of the cards, clearing the cards and paying back over the 9 months. Works out £695/m and no interest/ need to get a purchase card.

alt80

So much for early bedtime. Went got to sleep and now wide awake. FML know I can’t give up on this now but don’t know how many more still sober but !!!!!! nights sleep I can take may as well be back on the chang so far as sleep concerned. Up thinking about the 0%s and any other ways to deal with it and getting anxious about not sleeping when I’ve got a big day on the fee earners tomorrow. Had some big instructions come in this week normally would be buzzing but half panicking about getting the jobs done with me half asleep most days and fee earning staff booked up for weeks. Why I’m looking at getting another guy tbh. Wish I could sort my head out and get on. 

RelievedSheff

alt80 said:

So much for early bedtime. Went got to sleep and now wide awake. FML know I can’t give up on this now but don’t know how many more still sober but !!!!!! nights sleep I can take may as well be back on the chang so far as sleep concerned. Up thinking about the 0%s and any other ways to deal with it and getting anxious about not sleeping when I’ve got a big day on the fee earners tomorrow. Had some big instructions come in this week normally would be buzzing but half panicking about getting the jobs done with me half asleep most days and fee earning staff booked up for weeks. Why I’m looking at getting another guy tbh. Wish I could sort my head out and get on. 

If I wake in the night I make myself not pick up my phone and look at the screen. If I do, that is it. I won't go back to sleep again.

Humdinger1

alt80 said:

@RelievedSheff 100% know I need to put the effort in too. Seems too much sometimes did get on the chill app and worked through the afternoon so far. Need to stop overthinking about stuff panicking about my life becoming boring. 

Need to probably stop talking to JV mate tbh too. Stupidly agreed to let him stay over post-lockdown and go out out one weekend !!!!!! knows why I did that. Wife will go !!!!!! mental if he turns up here tbt.

@alt80 it's all part of redefining your life; don't beat yourself up as you have realised that it's not a good idea.   Is the JV mate the narcissistic petrol/ smackhead or is that someone else entirely? You might want to have a full and frank discussion with him at some point but you might also decide as an interim measure  that the date will never be fixed.  You're moving away from this now and if the JV friend does sadly suffer from any of this he will be used to friends doing this.  I had a friend in this condition and he talked about it openly.  Till he died, that is.  His wife and 3 children knew the problems and loved him nonetheless; still devastated.   He was a force for good too like you and the world can't spare him.  Please give yourself credit for the enormous steps you're taking, putting your life and health and your family ahead of the rush.