First Steps to Solvency

ladyholly

See if the over the counter that you wife bought for you helps.  Some lessons in relaxation might also help. I am sure there will be stuff on the Internet. You need to stop you brain going into overdrive.. Something your wife could research for you as I think it would fit with her health regime and keep her off ig. Win win!! 

RelievedSheff

I hope you get some sleep soon Alt80. 

Sarahwithlove

A lot of stuff gp gives will be short term to get back into a routine. It's helped me a lot. 

alt80

Thanks all re sleep. Bit better last night tbf but not been very well at all today. GP extremely reluctant to give me anything stronger probably my history with substances tbh who knows. Would rather get through without tbf. Literally done nothing today, spent most of the day in bed ill FML. Had one coffee all day, no alcohol. Tbh hardly had a drink over Christmas if I feel like this will be a sober nye first time ever haha.

Tier 4 here. Wife crying again, she’s not been ok since christmas restrictions announcements. Sent her mad tbh and falling out with her dad not helping.

Complete day off from business/ property/ finances etc just not been well enough to do anything. Don’t know what’s wrong with me tbh.

Agreed I need to let go of analysing past decisions a bit. Only thing I’ve really done all day sat in bed working out how many units I could have bought with money I’ve taken, just lead to nothing but a guilt fest. Decent plan in place for 2021 and had another conversation with wife. I think she gets we can’t carry on doing the same stuff - both of us. Crying about IG too lol. She has a love/ hate relationship with it I think.

Willowtree222

Yeah tier 4 is another thing to contend with. Non essential shops closed again.
Would your wife delete Instagram? 
Hope you're feeling better soon. It sounds like your wife is getting it a lot more now and you can work together. 

stymied

Please encourage wife to speak to GP or self refer to TalkPlus. I’ve found both helpful.
I’ve taken Nytol occasionally in the past. As @warby68 said Obviously this is not a recommendation and due caution with any meds as always. I found it helpful so long as I was ready to settle down as soon as I’d taken it and that it was early enough for 9 hours before I had to wake up otherwise I felt a bit grotty the next day.

ladyholly

Hope you feel a bit better tomorrow. Dont know your symptoms but would a covid test be useful?

I thought of your wife when they announced the new restrictions. I have to say you have more patience with the crying than I would have but she does at least appear to be understanding the money a bit more. I hope the go pro has gone back (unless she got it on line) as the shops will be closed now in your area.

As Nicnak said would she delete instagram as it does not seem to be good for her.

enthusiasticsaver

I think possibly your wife's argument with her Dad is causing her to be this upset plus as you say the restrictions so she can no longer meet with them. Deleting IG would be a good thing for her if she can do that. Sorry you not feeling well. I think maybe the realisation you both have to change is sinking in a bit and with you it is compounded by the fact you are angry with yourself for getting in this position. There is no point in looking back though, all you can do is deal with the here and now and plan for the future. 

katsu

Well done @alt80 for throwing the stuff away.  This can be a hard road sometimes but you are getting there and you and your wife will feel so much better in time.  Just keep hanging on in there.

Many of us are struggling sometimes under the restrictions sometimes.  My sleep isn't the quality it used to be, for sure.  You are doing great by getting help and changing your money mindset.

alt80

Variable spends £220/1165

Only spend was small food shop - wife had to deal with supermarket lol usually delivered or I pick up any bits, she hates them.

Don’t believe I’ve got covid - no fever/ temperature/ cough just completely exhausted. Was not exaggerating about almost falling to sleep at the wheel. Constantly craving stimulants genuinely think only reason is knowing I could get on and focus for a bit. Load of work for January first time in my life I’ve looked at my calendar and panicked how I’m going to get done what I need to get done. Dreading feeling like this and having to drive weirdly apprehensive about driving scared I actually will fall to sleep at the wheel and hurt someone. Thankful for my business not having suffered through covid though after first lockdown and we can still work even with the tier 4 - actually last few months been best it has been for a long time. Even negative about that must be luck rather than anything else my head telling me when I know I’ve started to put the wheels in motion again for sustained growth. Same with the FA. I’m utterly relieved about that but in my head deserved to lose everything - been going on a long time and I cut some corners early on (should 100 know better and hate myself for it|) which lead to the nightmare with it. Procrastinated over it thereafter and went mental. Definitely contributed to the spending getting a lot worse and the other stuff. All I needed to have done was kept my nerve but I didn’t. Not sure how anyone can accept the !!!!!! ups I’ve made these past few years but know I need to. Know where people coming from about my general anger levels.

I’ve told wife to speak to the healthline crying has been every day since day BoJo cancelled Christmas. I have asked her to delete IG. I have but wasn’t really that into it in the first place only used to look at cars/ watches/ property basically feel like I’m doing badly in life and switch it off. She has little other contact with the outside world, everyone she knows communicates through it apart from her family. Lots of messages she gets saying they love her updates. She’s a massive fan of James Smith @ryanm8655 actually think he’s positive for her generally tbh but know she fancies him ha. The quote out of his book definitely resonated. I don’t know what happiness is I don’t think haha so 100 go for the pleasure seeking. She’s also a big fan of Courtney Black which is fine but the other day she’s counting up the value of the jewellery that she’s wearing on the IG story, telling me I need to sort my income out. IGs exhausting now for me tbh.