First Steps to Solvency

alt80

Thanks all. @getmore4less big thanks mate, ever looking for a job my door is open. Seriously thanks for that.  

I will respond properly hopefully tomorrow. Appreciate all posts thanks just not capable of responding properly tonight. 

Went out to office after lunch almost fell to sleep at the wheel wife had to pick me up. Went to bed but no real sleep. The sleep is a massive issue currently, just hardly functioning. Struggling to think straight a lot of the tme questioning every !!!!!! part of my life not helping. Like some sort of life burnout if there’s such a think tbh. Wife’s bought some over the counter stuff for me to try not holding much hope out.

Came so close to giving in on the substance front, wasted some money to literally throw it in the bin FML, just want to feel awake and capable of actually getting on with my life. Spoke to the counsellor instead but don’t know how much longer I can go on like this until I’m back on it tbh. 100 need the sleep sorted. No lecture about the waste of money I’m angry enough with myself. 

Good news wife has told me she’s returning the GoPro. Son didn’t know about it anyway so that’s taken a month off. Did have chance to lay out the minimums so she could see it in front of her. I know I’ve done the stupid stuff, ignoring the obvious rather than just simply being ignorant. She spent another 2 hours crying lol but everything going back that can now she understands why I wasn’t just going to pay the mins off the card. Will see if she does it again idk.

Willowtree222

That's great that she's seen and is taking it back. Hopefully it is the last time and she gets what you're trying to achieve. 

Sorry about the sleep. Sleep deprivation is torture. If you did go on it, think about how much more angry you would be. 
Hoping you do get some more sleep 

warby68

The lack of sleep is a form of turture. An awful lot of what you are feeling will be due to it. I have real trouble with sleep, I know what its like. When I'm having a really bad run, I avoid dealing with anything major as far as possible as I know thought processes are not great, just keep to functional stuff. Not easy for you with all this going on, but parking the bigger stuff for a few days probably won't make a lot of difference. 

I think another day with your son is calling.

Very pleased to hear some stuff is being returned, not so much about her long crying sessions. Is she just overly sorry for herself or does she need some help? Its possible she might be wrestling with reality and who she is as well.

Try and stick to it @alt80. You know the other way is damaging. Well done on pulling back.

ryanm8655

Well done for binning it. Can understand why you almost slipped, lots going on and lack of sleep is horrendous. But be proud of the fact you binned it.

Have you thought about getting something from gp for sleep? It’s tough with kids/family etc. But seems like you need a day to catch up on rest.

rugbymadfamily

ryanm8655 said:

Well done for binning it. Can understand why you almost slipped, lots going on and lack of sleep is horrendous. But be proud of the fact you binned it.

Have you thought about getting something from gp for sleep? It’s tough with kids/family etc. But seems like you need a day to catch up on rest.

Agreed re be proud of binning it. You've got so much going on at the moment, that there may well be slip ups. But by binning it you have done really well to avoid a slip up.

I know Alt doesn't want to get hooked on medicine, but I agree about getting some meds to help sleep. Its just impossible to function without sleep. My husband uses kalms when things are stressful as he finds that helps, so over counter medicine might be enough to give you a good night's rest? 

enthusiasticsaver

Sleep deprivation is awful. I have been there but found the medication prescribed by the GP sent me off into a deep sleep but I woke up feeling awful. The GP said it is important to get back into a sleep pattern. Alcohol stops me sleeping but I think you have cut back haven't you? I think your mind is racing and you are just anxious to get your finances sorted and maybe your wife's overspending has affected you as you see it as a setback which of course it is but not a setback you can control. I am glad she has seen sense and taking the go pro back. 

Glad you binned the substance stuff. Can you remove your contact from your phone so you can't get hold of it again in the future? Keep going with the counselling as you will have these dips but hopefully less and less as time goes on. The crying from your wife sounds strange. Is this just because she can't go out and spend or maybe it is the row with her parents on Boxing Day? She seemed really on board a few weeks ago. 

ladyholly

Well done on binning it. The right thing to do for your long term health. Not sleeping ti's awful and for a short time meds may help to establish a sleep pattern. Keep going you are winning slowly. 

getmore4less

Not sure where you head is going but if you are still mixing the past with the future that is something to work on.
It is very easy to get caught up with ifs I had..... things would be different. 
Important to try to disconnect as you can't change the past. 

Looking at the future there is a fairly well planned out path that will restore the financial balance and begin the road to increased wealth and income.

Along with a more healthy approach to family and friends things will improve. 
Energy is best spent looking at the forward plans and seeing if you can make any improvements. 

I have mentioned the slog before and you are entering that stage where the plan just happens there are fewer things that can change unless there is a game changer. 
No instant fixes this is 1-2 year slog, good that the house is parked for 5y with the new fix one less thing to think about. 

There are going to be various strategies to get the team back on side, one thing that comes up when people start out on the debt free journey is a no blame culture(not even self blame) when reviewing the finances. 

You have agreed together you need to budget so I think focus on the future planning, if it goes off track like it has in the last few days the non conflict approach on the adjustments needed to get back on track tends to work better as it reduces the risk of blame. 

Some praise one the gopro has gone back may restore emotions, your anger at it is not healthy for you and whatever your wife is feeling won't be good for her, talk through the journey ahead and how it will be so much better going forward, any negatives about the past show how they are getting fixed(plan to get rid of PG on the BTL, growth of main business) , emphasis on earn it before spending it. 

Maybe even some make up .... would help with sleep. 

Sleep is obviously still a big issue even with the reservation over meds maybe an occasional catch up sleep with help would restore your mojo for a few days.

warby68

I currently have Phenergan - its an old fashioned OTC anti-histamine and travel sickness med but also a short term sedative
Not overly easy to get hold of but it does work and has no hangover for me.
Obviously this is not a recommendation and due caution with any meds as always.
I've learned to live with a bit of help for a catch up sleep as @getmore4less suggests as it does reset things a bit but know it wouldn't be a GP recommendation.
I did read the 'make up' suggestion as something else at first, given make up has been a hot topic, and wondered how on earth that would help !

ryanm8655

warby68 said:

I currently have Phenergan - its an old fashioned OTC anti-histamine and travel sickness med but also a short term sedative
Not overly easy to get hold of but it does work and has no hangover for me.
Obviously this is not a recommendation and due caution with any meds as always.
I've learned to live with a bit of help for a catch up sleep as @getmore4less suggests as it does reset things a bit but know it wouldn't be a GP recommendation.
I did read the 'make up' suggestion as something else at first, given make up has been a hot topic, and wondered how on earth that would help !

Haha, same on make up...

I’ve used diazepam for sleep before (low dose), can also help with anxiety but very addictive apparently. I’m not big on meds either though tbh, had a serious accident in my late teens where I was in hospital for a longtime (bike crash) and was given sleeping pills then but stopped them after a week as didn’t like the idea of them...but if I was really struggling I’d take them in the short term.