First Steps to Solvency

alt80

No plans to move him from current school (goes all way to 18). Tbh the reason he’s at the school is he went to the nursery and also smaller class sizes/ better facilities much less about ‘who he might meet’, going to meet all kinds of people in life lol. We don’t think it’s particular value for money right now but he’s settled there really well and neither my wife nor I want to disrupt him in his education. Sorting the financial problems out so really shouldn’t be an issue to keep him there- spend less on school than Range Rover. Schools are mixed round here, no grammar school system and tbh son sits around middle of his class academically so probably not really an option. Things would have to go a long way wrong to need to pull him out of the school if I do manage to stick to the plan, debts gone, RR paid for, maybe one car on finance but that as a max and stick with budget. Acknowledge it could happen who knows but don’t think it’s a battle I need to fight right now.

If we moved, that’s a big if now I think I’m only interested for the right much more expensive place in a private estate of period property in the city. State school options would change slightly but not vastly different. Wife not interested in moving at all - she’s looked at village living and realised very little out there like our place. Mainly old farm houses / one off newer places for a similar price. £1M can get something of similar build quality, definitely larger but usually quite isolated.

Full day planned - no time to think/ spend etc. Always do better in the week so feel already winning with decent weekend behind me not dwelling on that. Decent night’s sleep, not too painful to wake up this morning haha.

Exercise: upper body and 3km run.

Work: going to be a busy one but told wife I’m logging off 6pm latest, want to stick to that.

Family: we’ve started advent treats lol. Practically December so good enough for me. Dog walk and spend a bit of time with son. 

Well-being: stick to the routine, spend no money, drink no alcohol.

RelievedSheff

Glad you had a good weekend with the family.

You have spent less than us this weekend   

Onebrokelady

alt80 said:

@enthusiasticsaver thanks. Counsellor advised I could start removing email subscriptions etc. I lost it - won’t fall to marketing etc tbh I probably have many times and the emails I find it stressful receiving so many too. You need to make a start on the christmas decs - grandchildren are only young once. 

@Nicnak I hope so.

@Onebrokelady thanks. Putting my family first more is important to me. I think I thought it’d just all fall into place sorting my mindset/ debts out. First lockdown I managed to enjoy lots of family time and not be so pressured to make/ have/ spend more. First lockdown strange times for all of us though I think really. The week you started reading tbh I don’t think I’ve ever been that low before in all sorts of ways. Not great but can only be onwards and upwards from there ha. 

Massive decluttering day today. Put so much stuff up for sale. Even the £10 items lol. If they don’t sell can always bin later. Sad to see a lot of stuff piled up in the garage next to the bmw where my ftype was tbh. 

Not felt amazing, just general low mood but have got on with what I said I would and spent day with family rather than the self destructive stuff. Tonight feel better for it tbh. I’m concerned about my stress / anxiety / anger levels generally thats all got way out of hand these past few months and resulted in doing some stuff I don’t ever want to go down the road of again and shouldn’t for my family as well as myself.

Things done for debt/ mindset today:

• No alcohol
• Not looked at business emails
• No spends
• Unsubscribed from two emails
• £2.5k worth of stuff up for sale!! Just kept finding things we didn’t want so took a pic as we were sorting through and hopefully will get rid. Can’t believe it added up to that much. Also can’t believe my son thought it was a really fun day sorting through a load of stuff lol
• Going to sit down and write my plan for tomorrow after this including bedtime routine ha. Almost read the dopamine book, been absolutely brilliant and definitely a lot I think applied so thanks for the heads up again @enthusiasticsaver
• Planned next week workout schedule with the wife
• No phone day lol. Put it on my bedside table and didn’t touch it from breakfast until after dinner. Had a bit of a panic worrying if a tenant was trying to call and couldn’t get through wife said to me they can’t expect me 100 at their will even if there is an issue. Think she’s right I need to switch off a bit more - after an hour or so enjoyed having a bit of time off from my phone. 
• This evening when I picked it up I blocked IG for a week ha. Only go on there to look at cars / property stuff and as soon as I opened the app got a targeted ad for a one year old AM Vantage. As soon as I saw it I felt the anger levels rising knowing I can’t afford it etc. Just don’t need it in my life right now. Wife has blocked hers for a week too lol told her she doesn’t need the fake women (‘unreal’ makeup etc more like unreal amounts of surgery lol) in her life anymore than I need the AM ads lol.
• Aiming for lights out 11.30pm, up at 7am.

This is great to read, I'm loving that you blocked IG on your phone, I am totally addicted to that and FB and really struggle not to look 😀I don't think I could block it so your doing better than me, mind you I only use it to look at motivational stuff and things to do with my hobbies so no negativity, I do like to look at house renovations though which can bring out the green eyed monster but then I console myself with the fact that I've still got a roof over my head and it's not a dive 😀

Sarahwithlove

Your gonna have good and bad days but it's all about trying to find the positives and it sounds like you are making an effort to do that. Once you get into a new routine with your family you will find the stress will start to come down too. If seeing adverts for cars etc makes you angry then I agree a break from them is a good idea. As emails come in unsubscribe to them. Staying off IG is good too. Maybe uninstall the app and only use browser version so it's more of an effort to access it. You won't miss it. 

vixx_123

I too deleted Facebook, Instagram and Twitter from my phone months ago now and it vastly improved my mental health. I go on Facebook once a day now through a browser, but nothing much happens on it anymore and I notice the advertising so much more. I do have one friend who shares her whole life on social media and therefore assumes everyone knows what's happening in her life when talking in real life! 
I have also unsubscribed from any marketing emails. All this has made me feel a little bit lonely and have a little FOMO, but it's better in longer term. 

alt80

@RelievedSheff first for everything mate lol. 

@Onebrokelady 100 don’t need it in my life right now. All fairly negative on mine well it is for me at the moment; basically just full of car and house !!!!!! lol. Find the business stuff on there trite. There’s a fair few small time developers on there - the ‘no money down’/ ‘buy HMO become millionaire tomorrow’ sort. 🙄 Can’t deal with that, full of !!!!!! and just selling a dream to some small time wannabe developers for which things could go very wrong, take wrong thing on etc. Would be interested to see how many see the other side of a recession. Anyway that’s my !!!!!! for the day ha.

@Sarahwithlove definitely agree with that. I’m never going to be perfect or a saint with money bit more balance can aim for that. True true re app. If I’ve not missed it by weekend, I think I’ll delete.

@vixx_123 ha we know a few who are very, very active on social media and yep expect everyone to know last detail about what’s going in their lives and their kids lives.  

clairebeth

Hello!

I know I haven't been here for ages!  Soz! Will try and catch up properly, but can I just say I bloody loved that last post about what you did on the weekend - decluttering, listing stuff, your son enjoying it.  Do your remember you said you'd never even bother listing those things? Yes, you said it. You said it wouldn't be worth it! But every little helps, as Tesco would say! 

Which reminds me of a book recommendation - I've only just started it to be honest, and in fact, this may sound bizarre, but my hubs and I are reading it aloud to each other!  Such was my strength of feeling that we should both read it.  Anyway - it's all about creating tiny little habits for yourself and how those tiny things add up and create life changing habits. It's called Atomic Habits by James Clear. I follow him on insta actually.  How do you block the app? Is it blocking the notifications. I don't use Facebook because I find that I can go down a rabbit hole and waste a whole evening looking at what Jenny from year 9 is up to now with her very short husband. Who cares? I haven't seen her since 1998!
 

Willowtree222

Another who's off social media too. They just were my spending nemesis. 
Keep going. You're making some really amazing steps. The 6pm finish work will hopefully help you have quality family time 

getmore4less

The problem with feeds is they highlight stuff you never even knew you needed and then you believe it is not marketing its an informed choice.

I did one today  hotukdeals found it for me

We had a regular led bulb go in the hall I have a pir one I use elsewhere so tried  that in the hall and we think we will like it you leave it on and it comes on when you walk into the hall.

That brand is discontinued and all the others are bit pricy so should have got a regular £2.50 replacement.

Amazon "cyber Monday lightning Offer" came up on HUKD this morning for 2 wifi smart lamps(alexa,google etc) ordered as the same price as 2 regular ones.

We don't have any of those smart things set up in the house so this could turn into an expensive exercise if we like them and need something to voice activate them

( I have some ceiling light in the basket trying to decide how much I want them)

I only do facebook as we have a international social group that have a private chat going on messenger I keep that live, dip into the time lines when nothing better to do. 

When I started for social media there was only usenet so much prefer the forum style of  over all the instant stuff.

In Oct one of the (young) girls that works in the pub was talking about how they were older than facebook, I nearly told her I was older than the internet but I think she may have known that.

KxMx

My phone came with fb & insta pre installed. 

I deleted them and use the Web browser to log in. No notifications enabled.

Same for tablet