First Steps to Solvency

ladyholly

Nothing worthwhile in this life is necessarily easy. Just try to remember how good it felt to clear that one cc. You will get there with the others just keep plodding along as many others have to do.

You seem to expect that people will be rushing to your door to buy stuff. Regretfully it doesnt work like that and you have to learn to be patient. Most things go eventually and people do not tend to buy 2nd hand things at Christmas in my experience no matter how good they are. I suspect this year there may be more money than usual gifted so sales after Christmas may be better.

alt80

@relievedsheff things are definitely looking better on the numbers front.

Ideal scenario wife starts earning and can get rid of it much quicker. I know I’ve made progress just extremely frustrating now I can see just how much I’ve been spending and that paying for the past is limiting my lifestyle. A lot of the stuff I don’t even have like holidays, nights out and a tonne of petrol haha. The RR at least I’ve got something to enjoy from that. BMW feels like it’s on borrowed time likely and need to tread carefully around the wife - she feels I’ve wasted a lot of money on cars etc and whilst we’re getting on well right now she’s still not exactly pleased with me over the debt/ other stuff and is watching me carefully. Having a second accountant doesn’t really do it for me either lol.

@warby68 come on, no one buys something with 500+Bhp to tootle around like a grandma lol. Yeah I’ve had my moments, haven’t we all if you’re into cars for the sake of honesty??

Got a lot of time for your advice tbf but 100 wouldn’t want to be married to you lol. Your husband must be a very tolerant man.

@ladyholly thanks yeah definitely good to say goodbye to one for good tbh. Just incredibly frustrating as I’m sure everyone else will get tbf.

Good point re the selling and Christmas. Very true re cash and hopefully new year better on that front. Ready to get rid of the next card. As much as I moan about the payback honestly think getting rid of the cards for good will feel amazing.

warby68

@alt80 you need to read back. You weren't talking about enjoying your car (which I do believe it or not ) , you were talking about taking it to the edge and getting banned or writing a car off. And yep, I won't be proposing any time soon either  

Purplelady65

Alt80 - I think given all the time and effort warby68 has put into this thread giving you really good advice and support your comments are quite rude. (No doubt you will say it was just a joke). They make a valid point - you have mentioned a few times about driving in such a manner that you could get banned. Your anger levels seem to be on the rise again. After your explosion at the week-end your posts have been a lot calmer, more measured and reflective but the tiers announcement seems to have been a trigger for your anger to resurface. Your wife must feel like she’s constantly walking on egg shells. When you get angry your posts start to criticise posters but also display all or nothing thinking (lots of definitions on google). If you could get your anger under better control that would be a positive step. If you don’t want to go down the face to face therapy route the overcoming series of books might be useful. They are written by experts in their respective fields and there is one called overcoming anger and irritability. 

getmore4less

 she feels I’ve wasted a lot of money on cars 

And you don't............ 

You are probably in well over £1/4m maybe even close to £1/2m and and the ones you have left are still not paid for.

Sarahwithlove

Maybe work out what 1% of your debt is and keep tracking of that. Everytime you pay another 1% off its a step closer then. At least that way even if the cards aren't disappearing as quick as you like you will be able to see if in percentages. Also makes you want to find ways to save money or make money to get to that next percentage. I have found it quite useful now that I'm just coasting along. 

alt80

@warby68 I have yes. Don’t think 100+ in the right conditions is actually dangerous personally but the cops don’t like it. As for writing the car off, it crossed my mind seeing how hard I could push it as it was going anyway and I didn’t take it out - don’t want to hurt someone. Couldn’t forgive myself for that. 

Lol I’ve got nearly four years to win you over ha 29/2/24 next leap year. 

@Purplelady65 I wasn’t being rude it was a joke and I think warby took it that way tbh.

Yeah I am a bit angry about the tiers - not just me think a lot of people are. Not raging about it and dealing with the anger in a constructive way not doing self destructive stuff. Actually am speaking to someone about it as believe it or not I feel a lot better generally when not on the edge all the time. Didn’t used to have a massive issue with anger, had a few problems but this the most sustained bout of it. Tbh it’s not nice realising there’s years of payback and no easy way to be financially comfortable. I’ve constantly been on edge since I faced up to the numbers just trying to deal with it. Have times where complete panic takes over - wtaf happens if the markets do tank/ 2008 all over again banks calling in loans (happened then no one to say it can’t happen again). Realising I have little resilience and no chance of being able to pick up the forced sales without freely available finance isn’t nice. Spent a long time thinking everything ok but it isn’t not by a long way.

@getmore4less I know I’ve wasted a lot of money or all sorts of things. Cars to an extent yes. If I could have my time again I wouldn’t have bought any of my current cars or the ftype. Not much I can do now about it.

@Sarahwithlove thank you I like that suggestion. Find it hard to work out what I consider as debt tbh ... where does it stop for me lol. Acknowledging more than the cards is overwhelming but definitely part of the problem. 

getmore4less

I know I’ve wasted a lot of money or all sorts of things. Cars to an extent yes. If I could have my time again I wouldn’t have bought any of my current cars or the ftype. Not much I can do now about it.

you are still talking like the wife is on a different page.

alt80

@getmore4less just don’t like her bringing it up suppose it seems like a criticism from her.

mothsinmywallet_2

You don't have to acknowledge everything all at once. Why don't you just take the credit cards and find 1% of them to start with. That's what I'm doing.