First Steps to Solvency

DayDreamerandGeneralWaster

Your comment soon just paying for the past is bang on. You haven't borrowed from the bank, you borrowed from your future self, your now self. Hold that thought when you think about spending in credit- your future self will thank you for it.

alt80

@TheAble Without getting too far into it if the FA doesn't work out I'm going to have to deplete my company of profits to finish the development project. All my income bar the standard is dividends which can't be paid if the company is loss making temporarily to finish project. Obviously my staff will still need to be paid too. Whole thing is a nightmare tbh and will need to speak to accountant if the FA doesn't work out. Not had these sort of issues in business before fortunately but knew this FA was needed massive prompt to try to sort some of my personal issues out, would have been even worse if I still had ftype and was spending £10k+ every month.

Hopefully valuer will have different view on this one than he did on the last property of mine haha. Been on the other side of this far too many times so no hard feelings lol.

@DayDreamerandGeneralWaster Yes I understand where you're coming from. Can't help but be on a bit of a downer about it at the moment. Not going to pretend I'm loving the payback because I'm not but do need the lifestyle change - realised doesn't matter if you earn well when you spend a lot more than you actually do earn.

alt80

Sleep last night rubbish did go to bed for midnight awake until 3am. Can't carry on like this doesn't help business. Going to try going to bed with wife at 11.30. Glad I've still got my family after all my lies over the years, don't take them for granted now few months ago would have rather wife walked out than lost Range Rover. Don't feel that way right now think she knows I'm really trying to make an effort. Hate myself for the stuff I've put her through over the years though not sure the guilt will ever go for the lies and not being there for my family. FIL right about some of the stuff he's said about me over the years tbh.

10/11/20: No progress haha.
1. X7 things up for sale. 1/7
2. X3 exercise ( just upper body x2 and something else x1 with foot issue wife will come up with something no doubt ha) 0 lol.
3. Update expenses/ cards spreadsheets. Not today. 
4. Finish work 6.00pm and switch email off. Yes hardly been able to concentrate tbh. 
5. In bed for midnight. Who knows?

alt80

Better nights sleep but woken up really quite low. Still want to spend - only thing within reason that seems to give me the temporary buzz I’m looking for tbh. Told wife to take my phone off me this morning again haha.

Definitely hard facing up to the money I owe - shouldn’t be struggling like we are living month to month. No contingency always want more and desperate for money. This FA thing shouldn’t be affecting my personal finances as much as it may do. I know there can be ups and downs in business and should have planned my personal finances accordingly. Only reason the business can afford to finish it if need be because I haven’t been overly greedy taking out the business and only reason that’s happened is because I have a close working relationship with my accountant. Left to me I would have took every penny !!!!!! it for myself I know that. Can’t control myself with money. 

Read an article about a CEO earning a package in the millions never enough died young. Recognised myself in the mindset not those levels of income but I’d be the one that’d not be enough and still be in debt. I just can’t carry on like this. Hoping the day will come that I won’t be battling the spending / greed monsters every single day. 

RelievedSheff

It will come. You are making huge leaps forwards at the minute.

warby68

Good morning @alt80
This stuff is closely related to my day job, so I completely understand why a currently unfunded development is giving you sleepless nights. Hopefully it will be a good valuation and straightforward drawdown and, if not, that the other aspects of the project make a convincing case for your lender. Are you in complete control here or are there partners? Seems right that you are givng this renewed priority so you can get the thing away and not let it detract from core business indefinitely. 

alt80

@RelievedSheff thanks I hope so lost the appetite for not caring about massive overspending still want the stuff but I can’t help but think what a complete idiot I’ve been. Maybe would have 7 figure house by now had I not massively overspent for years maybe wouldn’t idk. Maybe shouldn’t focus on that because I’ve got a nice house that I’m generally very happy with. 

To have put buying stuff above my family then buy them more stuff to ‘make up’ for being a !!!!!! dad/ husband is killing me right now hate myself for who I am. FIL right about some of the stuff he’s said about me the debt stuff always hurt the most says it all money all I’ve ever been bothered about. My parents got !!!!!! all in Greece happier than they ever were here but that might have just been putting up with my sister and I ha. Asked my dad if he ever has a bet on anything just for a buzz once in a while he’s now concerned that’s the route I’m going down don’t usually talk about that - really isn’t lol. I just can’t let go accept I’m mediocre and move on though wish I didn’t have the constant wanting for more never going to make me happy that isn’t. Get the 7 figure house and sad it’s not the most expensive in the county... get that and it won’t be the most expensive in the country. Fed up of my own bs tbh. 

alt80

@warby68 all me and my !!!!!! up that it’s where it is too. Should know better tbh. Not gonna lie this has been in the back of my mind since the start of trying to get the personal liabilities down. Just another thing I couldn’t face up to.

I am confident it will get resolved one way or another. Some big lessons learned from it too professionally. Come back bigger than the set back and all that ha still got to believe it!

warby68

alt80 said:

@warby68 all me and my !!!!!! up that it’s where it is too. Should know better tbh. Not gonna lie this has been in the back of my mind since the start of trying to get the personal liabilities down. Just another thing I couldn’t face up to.

I am confident it will get resolved one way or another. Some big lessons learned from it too professionally. Come back bigger than the set back and all that ha still got to believe it!

Just the fact you are facing up to it now shows how far you've come and its only a few weeks since you started this change. If this is an SPV and your personal liability is limited ( I may be wrong here), you still keep some negotiating power even if the valuation doesn't quite stack up. Lenders really don't want to take on inco developments. Have you got decent evidence for exit, indicative offers, etc and can you bankroll say a partial contribution to whatever extra is needed and are costs reasonably under control? Not expecting answers lol but its what I would be looking at. Don't forget any hardship, vulnerability angles either - counter-intuitive I know but can be a persuasive case when a lender is reputationally minded. I'm sure you know this already but sometimes the perspectives are a little different. 

enthusiasticsaver

I don't think this beating yourself up is helping you tbh.  You have made mistakes, you have learnt from them and are trying to fix them.  I can understand why the valuation is preying on your mind and yes if you cannot get the FA that will pose a temporary problem for you.  You will deal with it then move forwards.  Your logical brain says spending now will make things worse but that has been your emotional outlet in the past when things get tough or you get an attack of low self esteem.  You do need to find another way of dealing with it because no matter how much you spend it will never be enough.  As Warby says is there an exit plan for the development?