First Steps to Solvency

alt80

Using the app and working through my usual spends total about £10.5-11k/m. This is including the ftype and holidays balanced over the past 12 months. Seems about right and why the card balances are building up so quickly since I realised some money to pay nearly £100k unsecured debt off.

From a bit of restructuring and using wife’s tax allowances too we should be able to see £7.75k/m after tax but now need to cut down more than I thought. Range Rover could become a company car which would be a massive saving but the BIK is horrendous. Only way to get that down significantly would be to swap it for the hybrid version which is much lower BIK but slower / not a V8. When I did the SOA I thought we didn’t spend what we do on clothes / tech / wife’s hair, nails, beauty stuff / eating out / holidays / birthdays / Christmas and petrol etc. Had one month I spent £800 in non-expensed petrol alone lol.  

I did have an idea to get rid of the bmw when I can and buy the wife her XJS (her dream car lol not mine) would cost money but never depreciate, already gone through the council estate phase and come out the other side lol so no need to worry about replacement too much. Coupe has seats in the back and I’ve always wanted a Jag with that 5.3 V12 so happy to indulge her. Insurance would be £200/y max and the tax might be free if we got a really old one. 10-12mpg max but lack of depreciation would make up for that.

Grumpelstiltskin

OK You say you are not into the National Trust. What is your son interested in?
I am thinking if he is interested in wildlife what about places you must know.
First where he can see Deer second where he can see birds both close by to you.

PassElephant

Grumpelstiltskin said:

OK You say you are not into the National Trust. What is your son interested in?
I am thinking if he is interested in wildlife what about places you must know.
First where he can see Deer second where he can see birds both close by to you.

Walking in a wood is very calming. Take a  phone and take photos of leaves, trees, fungi, plants, and then use Google lens to identify them when you are home. Set up a diary of things you did with your son and what you learned. Acquire knowledge not stuff... It soothes the soul and fills your mind with good things. 

alt80

Wife takes him to those places lots he loves wildlife and would love taking some photos and identifying the tress etc when home. Going to have some lunch and try to start my afternoon again - make an effort to spend some time with family rather than being sad about my ftype lol.

This evening going to work out what the essential items that can’t be taken out / reduced And sit down with wife work out what we can cut. I’m going to ruin everything if i can’t get the spending under control. Think it probably starts with trying to take some pleasure from things other than making/ spending money.

mark55man

good plan, but remember you've been thinking about it a lot, so don'y expect a 0-100 conversion on the road to Damascus.  Plus don;t be too apologetic, just say with all the Pandemic uncertainty, we just need to rein it in for a bit.  Then working together a bit will turn into a long without a fight

One of the earlier posters is right - kids only really remember from about 5-6 onwards, so it doesn't matter if you missed the reception sports day - but as they get a bit older that's a fun time - especially if you like kicking a ball about or chilling out at the seaside

getmore4less

You will have to find other pleasures.

your ability to earn money is no where near your ability to spend. 

If you took £100k out of the BTL business you set that back years.

This evening going to work out what the essential items that can’t be taken out / reduced

Essentials you may need rethink what your essentials are.

theoretica

alt80 said:

 I do have staff currently struggling to cover workload and need someone else. Difficult times to employ someone - if there is a big recession next year we won’t be struggling to cover workload so hard to balance in current circumstances. Struggling with sleep so much at the moment which isn’t helping for planning ahead.

I know you say your wife isn't interested in working - but she is finding pleasure in people wanting to pay her for nails.  I wonder if any of this workload is things you could employ her to do and would she be interested?  It would funnel the salary into your family and a job with part time hours and the prospect of it being short term might actually make it more appealing to her.

I have a number of ways of dealing with acquisitive urges.  Channel the spending into necessities and find a way to turn acquiring raspberries from boring grocery shopping into a special trip to the best shop for them.  Buy things that take time -I do this with plants that need tending, books that need reading, construction kits and a bit of vintage restoration.  I think you do this a bit with your BTLs.  It does mean I can go to junk shops or look through auction catalogues and happily not buy anything because they don't have the right thing for me to renovate.

strawb_shortcake

Instead of national trust, what about English heritage? It's a lot of ruined castles so shouldn't provoke any envy there and children tend to love it. Annual membership is around £80 I think and you can take upto 6 children so can include friends of your Son or Niece and Nephews. The cafe is usually pretty good too.

PassElephant

alt80 said:

Wife takes him to those places lots he loves wildlife and would love taking some photos and identifying the tress etc when home. Going to have some lunch and try to start my afternoon again - make an effort to spend some time with family rather than being sad about my ftype lol.

This evening going to work out what the essential items that can’t be taken out / reduced And sit down with wife work out what we can cut. I’m going to ruin everything if i can’t get the spending under control. Think it probably starts with trying to take some pleasure from things other than making/ spending money.

Hope it all goes okay. Remember you are being proactive here, along with your family. There are many in a similar situation who are not ready to acknowledge what you have. Be kind to yourself, pat yourself on the back and move forward, slowly at first but still forward.

alt80

So much for a nice afternoon started well got out with wife and son to the park but wife has now gone with son to in-laws for a bbq. They ring their children at a moments notice and expect them to go with their families. No way am I showing my face there. She tells them everything and fil will try ‘talking’ to me about it. Aka his self righteous musings about why I’m not good enough for his precious little girl and ‘jokingly’ asking me if whatever I take there is ‘paid for’. Been there before. Not even joking he said it once in front of wife’s other family over a bottle of wine I took for him for us to enjoy at one of his bbqs. Still wife is annoyed I’ve refused to go.