how much do non resident parents pay to their exes?

ZaSa1418

mason's_mum said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

mason's_mum said:

He has been through the courts before when sorting out the divorce 5 years ago, but If she continues to withhold access then his only option will be going to court (again)

Anyone who withholds access to a child with no grounds isn't fit to be a parent.

maybe withhold was too strong a word, he is still seeing the children regularly, and having them overnight but whereas it used to be Friday and Saturday he's now not picking them up until Saturday lunchtime. She claims they want to spend fewer nights with him. He is convinced they have been led down this route of conversation in a non-neutral way.

How old are they? 
£850 a month is a huge amount and to expect a further £500 in the same month is ridiculous on her part. 

mason's_mum

ZaSa1418 said:

How old are they? 

£850 a month is a huge amount and to expect a further £500 in the same month is ridiculous on her part. 

they are 6 and 9. 

gizmo111

ZaSa1418 said:

mason's_mum said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

mason's_mum said:

He has been through the courts before when sorting out the divorce 5 years ago, but If she continues to withhold access then his only option will be going to court (again)

Anyone who withholds access to a child with no grounds isn't fit to be a parent.

maybe withhold was too strong a word, he is still seeing the children regularly, and having them overnight but whereas it used to be Friday and Saturday he's now not picking them up until Saturday lunchtime. She claims they want to spend fewer nights with him. He is convinced they have been led down this route of conversation in a non-neutral way.

How old are they? 
£850 a month is a huge amount and to expect a further £500 in the same month is ridiculous on her part. 

He is obviously a high earner as he is paying CMS rates.
OP - I think that any extras such as school trips, holidays with friends etc, or any extra activities could be reasonable, but at the end of the day it is up to your partner what he contributes above the CMS/Court agreed level.
Contact is not linked to finances, so if he is not happy with the arrangements then he can apply to the court for more time with the children, if the parents cannot agree.
It is not acceptable for children this young to decide on what tiem they spend with their parents - the Mother should be reinforcing that the time with their father is a positive for them and the adults decide on this.

WabbitWabbit

CMS is based on income and is the minimum that should be paid, you can really only compare the amount paid to someone else earning a similar salary. If the CMS increases I really  don't think that the resident parent should have to explain what they are spending the extra money on. 
This is really between the two parents  and nothing to do with you. You say that you are not involved but you are, as you are posting on an open forum and asking  how much CMS others are paying.

Spendless

Is the £500 the whole cost of the item? (I appreciate you don't want to say what it is). Is your husband in agreement it would benefit the child? If £500 is the whole cost, is it an option to offer half? Is it needed imminently or could it be a Christmas (or birthday) present or contribution instead? 

Comms69

I think we need an idea of what this £500 is going to be spent on. 

Kids are 6 and 9, so im struggling! Is it a disability aid of somekind? Because honestly i dont see what else a child of that age needs to spend £500 on.

burlingtonfl6

Comms69 said:

I think we need an idea of what this £500 is going to be spent on. 

Kids are 6 and 9, so im struggling! Is it a disability aid of somekind? Because honestly i dont see what else a child of that age needs to spend £500 on.

The reality is people overestimate how much it costs to bring up a child.....especially after a divorce.