Kids contributing

kangoora

theoretica said:

CocoM2020 said:

jimpwarsop said:

kangoora said:

Just a thought, the numbers don't add up on his salary. Both examples below assume 5% pension payments and nothing else. 

If he was earning £19.5k/year then his take home should be £1,364

If his take home is £1,759 then his salary is £26,900/year (maybe a little more as he would be in Uni loan repayment territory)

Regardless, even on a take home pay of £1,364 then £200 is an absolute bargain compared to the costs of finding his own place, especially if it includes use of a car!

He isnt paying tax.

Surely he pays tax on his income as it’s over £12,500? 

If he has recently got this job he will have the full year's tax allowance for about half a year's earnings - so no tax until April.

True, but a salary of £19,500 divided by 12 would still only be £1,625/month on which NI and pension would still be payable. Still less than £1,759 by a fair amount.

fred246

I think it depends on the parent's financial situation. I would never dream of taking money from my children because I have got enough. I would expect mine to be saving a large amount of their income though for future housing costs 

JWM

fred246 said:

I think it depends on the parent's financial situation. I would never dream of taking money from my children because I have got enough. I would expect mine to be saving a large amount of their income though for future housing costs 

You are not 'taking money from your children', you are actually asking them to live like a functioning adult and pay their way! Its one thing when there are students, but this young man has graduated and is earning a good wage - his parents shouldn't have had to ask - the decent thing would have been to offer it as soon as he received his first salary.

Its irrelevant whether you need it or not - if you don't then put it in a bank account for them as a surprise when they move out.

As others have said - he will need to pay his share once he moves out, so its a good habit to get into. Of course its good to help your children out, but honestly, an adult 'refusing to speak' because his parents have asked him to contribute to the household expenses? Shocking!

If DS ever tried that, he would be given 2 weeks notice and be out the door pretty quickly. I would also be embarrassed to have raised such a scrounger. I'm very pleased to say that in the times he has needed to stay with us he has always offered to pay his way (sometimes accepted depending on circumstances) but always pitched in with the washing, cleaning and cooking without having to be asked.

OP if you continue to put up with this nonsense then he is going to get such a shock when he does leave....if he ever does of course! What could be better than zero board and lodgings!

Spendless

theoretica said:

CocoM2020 said:

jimpwarsop said:

kangoora said:

Just a thought, the numbers don't add up on his salary. Both examples below assume 5% pension payments and nothing else. 

If he was earning £19.5k/year then his take home should be £1,364

If his take home is £1,759 then his salary is £26,900/year (maybe a little more as he would be in Uni loan repayment territory)

Regardless, even on a take home pay of £1,364 then £200 is an absolute bargain compared to the costs of finding his own place, especially if it includes use of a car!

He isnt paying tax.

Surely he pays tax on his income as it’s over £12,500? 

If he has recently got this job he will have the full year's tax allowance for about half a year's earnings - so no tax until April.

Have they started doing things differently because that's not how I've ever been paid when starting part way through a tax year. Eg during the 2019-2020 tax year I only started working in Nov 19 and lost my job late March 2020. I paid tax on my wages through the months I worked. After the 2019-2020 tax year had ended I received a cheque back for the tax I had overpaid.

HampshireH

At 23 I was paying for my own flat at £550pcm plus bills and extortionate electric heating, running my own car and earning £18,500. (No idea how I did it looking back)

Cancel the car insurance which allows him on the policy. Make him pay it.

Charge him rent £200 is very cheap but reasonable.

Let him buy his own food if he wants to but will he then be cooking seperately?....I bet he ends up eating with you though.

He is 23. He isnt a child anymore. He needs to take ownership and part of that is learning to be financially responsible and not dependant on you.

If it's the girlfriend leading the behaviour then he can freeload at her house.

jimpwarsop

I suppose his girlfriend is fairly high maintenance.

DCFC79

jimpwarsop said:

I suppose his girlfriend is fairly high maintenance.

Thats what I'm geting from the OP,  my money is on the gf behind this (planted seeds in the sons head).

AskAsk

OP - it is not unreasonable that you ask your son to contribute if he is still living at home.  he needs to learn to contribute to a family unit.  he has been brought up thinking that you must provide everything and he never has to contribute at all.

as he is earning a wage, he should contribute to the same degree as he would have to spend if he lived on his own.  then you can give him extra money if you believe that he ends up with too little, but it should be made clear that you are giving him money to help him.

jdvhsully

When my son got his apprenticeship we charged him £20 per week, as a token gesture. However on top of that he had to pay £250 into his help to buy isa, and £50 into a savings account per month. He would then pay any additional money into savings when he felt he had too much money in his current account.

He paid for his own car insurance etc.
It meant that he was able to buy his house, with his fiancée at aged 23.

pjcox2005

DCFC79 said:

jimpwarsop said:

I suppose his girlfriend is fairly high maintenance.

Thats what I'm geting from the OP,  my money is on the gf behind this (planted seeds in the sons head).

The lad is 23 and has a degree. He should have the intelligence (standard and emotional) to understand the concept of rent and costs incurred by parents. Let's not give the blame to the girlfriend (as it would also be easy for the parents to do as well to feel better about his actions) that we know nothing about but instead let the son be accountable for his own actions.