Kids contributing

valerieh
valerieh Posts: 28 Forumite
First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
edited 31 August 2020 at 9:53AM in MoneySaving mums
Bit of a dilemma , my son passed his degree in pharmacy and Is in a pre/reg pharmacy position , we’ve never asked him for a penny.  He’s started his job and take home pay is £1759 (he’s 23) . He’s using my car which we’ve insured we pay f£132 a month for the car , he’s refusing to pay board And saying he will buy his own food and is currently not speaking to us, am I being unreasonable asking for £200 a month and I buy food and pay for car 
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Comments

  • Socajam
    Socajam Posts: 1,238 Forumite
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    I agree with kangoora.
    I would ask him how soon can he find somewhere to live, COVID or not.
    He sounds extremely selfish - but guess what children are not born selfish - it comes from how they were raised.
  • valerieh
    valerieh Posts: 28 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Thanks for the replies I think he is being influenced by his new and first girlfriend who comes  from a privileged family 
    We bought a motorbike for his a dad to go to work on , so I have husbands car and son has my car .  We have insured it so he can drive it . This situation has me very upset as o do t want to come a Ross as greedy —when I cane in from work last night he never spoke to me which he’s never done I’m really upset 
  • Is that £1700 his monthly take home? If so you're absolutely within your rights to ask for some contributions, his salary must be in the £25k a year region for that I'd have thought, which depending on your location isn't a pittance.
  • Hi
    I'd suggest that you advise your son to start looking at renting somewhere to live and buying his own car.
    He's old enough & he has the income to do it !
    You are most definitely not being greedy at £200 as others have said I think it should be alot more !
    He either makes a reasonable monthly financial contribution or he moves out.
    I suspect when he realises how much it would cost for him to rent his own place & buy a car his tune will change !
    Jen xxx
  • KxMx
    KxMx Posts: 10,605 Forumite
    First Post Name Dropper First Anniversary Photogenic
    edited 31 August 2020 at 11:08AM
    You are not being unreasonable, he is being so and childish too. 
    Definitely should be funding himself and paying keep to you at his age and on that salary.
    If he doesn't want to he has the option of moving out and paying for everything himself. 
  • valerieh
    valerieh Posts: 28 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Hi thanks for replies it’s take home pay as he’s not paying tax as it’s his first job , so first £12500 Is tax free ,  he’s on £19500 we’ve come to an agreement of £138 which is the car payment and he buys his own luxury items that he likes But I got upset when we were discussing it as we haven’t brought him up to be greedy or spoilt ( even though he prob is ) as he’s an only child .I know it’s our fault but we only have him so easily done ...
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,304 Forumite
    First Post Name Dropper Photogenic First Anniversary
    Is this a sustained refusal to pay his way or just the poor impulse reaction of a lad faced with an unexpected cost? 
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • CocoM2020
    CocoM2020 Posts: 253 Forumite
    First Post Name Dropper
    I was on £14,000 (approx) for my first job and paid £50 a week for my keep - no way would I have gotten away with paying so little for my keep (paid own travel and luxury items).  When he moves out he will be in for a nasty shock with all his bills. 
  • Marvel1
    Marvel1 Posts: 7,172 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    valerieh said:
    he’s refusing to pay board And saying he will buy his own food and is currently not speaking to us
    Bags packed and out the door.
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