Kids contributing 30 August 2020 at 10:40PM edited 31 August 2020 at 9:53AM in MoneySaving mums 36 replies 2.4K views

valerieh

Bit of a dilemma , my son passed his degree in pharmacy and Is in a pre/reg pharmacy position , we’ve never asked him for a penny.  He’s started his job and take home pay is £1759 (he’s 23) . He’s using my car which we’ve insured we pay f£132 a month for the car , he’s refusing to pay board And saying he will buy his own food and is currently not speaking to us, am I being unreasonable asking for £200 a month and I buy food and pay for car 

kangoora

Yes, you are being unreasonable - to yourself. £200/month, he buys his own food and gets his own car would be reasonable. I hope he is also doing his own washing and ironing.

He's taking you for a ride and sounds like an utterly spoiled brat as well. If one of my 2 started acting like that whilst earning a decent wage I'd show him the door

Socajam

I agree with kangoora.
I would ask him how soon can he find somewhere to live, COVID or not.
He sounds extremely selfish - but guess what children are not born selfish - it comes from how they were raised.

valerieh

Thanks for the replies I think he is being influenced by his new and first girlfriend who comes  from a privileged family 

We bought a motorbike for his a dad to go to work on , so I have husbands car and son has my car .  We have insured it so he can drive it . This situation has me very upset as o do t want to come a Ross as greedy —when I cane in from work last night he never spoke to me which he’s never done I’m really upset 

Darkslider

Is that £1700 his monthly take home? If so you're absolutely within your rights to ask for some contributions, his salary must be in the £25k a year region for that I'd have thought, which depending on your location isn't a pittance.

SootySweep1

Hi
I'd suggest that you advise your son to start looking at renting somewhere to live and buying his own car.
He's old enough & he has the income to do it !
You are most definitely not being greedy at £200 as others have said I think it should be alot more !
He either makes a reasonable monthly financial contribution or he moves out.
I suspect when he realises how much it would cost for him to rent his own place & buy a car his tune will change !
Jen xxx

KxMx

You are not being unreasonable, he is being so and childish too. 
Definitely should be funding himself and paying keep to you at his age and on that salary.
If he doesn't want to he has the option of moving out and paying for everything himself. 

valerieh

Hi thanks for replies it’s take home pay as he’s not paying tax as it’s his first job , so first £12500 Is tax free ,  he’s on £19500 we’ve come to an agreement of £138 which is the car payment and he buys his own luxury items that he likes But I got upset when we were discussing it as we haven’t brought him up to be greedy or spoilt ( even though he prob is ) as he’s an only child .I know it’s our fault but we only have him so easily done ...

theoretica

Is this a sustained refusal to pay his way or just the poor impulse reaction of a lad faced with an unexpected cost? 

CocoM2020

I was on £14,000 (approx) for my first job and paid £50 a week for my keep - no way would I have gotten away with paying so little for my keep (paid own travel and luxury items).  When he moves out he will be in for a nasty shock with all his bills. 

Marvel1

valerieh said:

he’s refusing to pay board And saying he will buy his own food and is currently not speaking to us

Bags packed and out the door.