A new royal start

QueenJess

Not much happening here. Waiting for baby to get into any sort of a feeding routine, but until then I am merely a baby accessory.

Feel a bit lost at the moment and not quite sure what to do with myself. I have put a few more things on eBay and looks like at least 7 items will sell later. Not much left to sort out clothes wise (until I can try things on) and most things are on eBay now. Also managed to rearrange and go through DS's books yesterday, so at least those are organised.

Biscuits are epic.. definitely won't last me. Definitely won't last me very long though! Must stop eating biscuits and chocolate!

savingholmes

I think when your children are so tiny - it can be easy to feel lost. Things will settle and you will find your rhythm again. You need to practice self care for now and remember that is important and what you should be doing at this stage. There's plenty of time to be a mover and a shaker later.

QueenJess

DD is struggling with reflux, so basically stuck under a baby 24-7. Starting to feel like I'm losing my mind! Tiny glimmer of hope is that she does sometimes happily sleep for a few hours on her own, so it is not as bad as DS was (he was a complete nightmare!). Just waiting it out for a few weeks and will see what happens.

In the meantime am still doing eBay stuff so I have one thing to do which makes me feel a bit human. Keep finding the odd extra thing to list, although it's definitely getting tougher. Got 5 different bids on things ending this weekend, so sales are still coming in. Also went through my old jewellery and will send unwanted items to Alzheimer's charity and already posted old bras to the Breast Cancer charity.

Just heard this morning that DS got into his school of choice. Am looking forward to being able to walk him to school as it isn't far. Going to need to break it to him that he won't be with his friends as they are going to be at the private school attached to the nursery. Feel massively guilty about that, but that is a silly reason to pay out for a private school for the next 14 years!

Need to tweak my money targets for this month because I finally got the final bill from the old electricity company. Hate that switching means you pay for the end of the old one and also pay in advance for the new one. Also going to add in my aim of donating some money to charity/good causes each month. Already done this month 🙂

Moved some moneh around and cleared my personal debt to myself. Sick of seeing all the negative amounts all the time and just want to clear the decks. Could do it with the joint, but in a few months there will be no nursery bill and so we'll be able to clear it pretty immediately. Plus I need to change the contribution split to the joint in a couple of months when I start getting half pay.

MagicCat

You have my every sympathy with the reflux, both mine had it and it's awful, really hoping no. 3 doesn't.  Have you tried the cushions for propping up the cot mattress? It was the only way mine would sleep, I tried raising the cot itself but they needed more of an angle.

I'm always amazed at how much you do, I know it must be frustrating for you at the moment but it will get better.

Great news on DS"s school!  My DS started reception this year, although he did go with one friend from nursery he's actually made new friends who he seems much closer with, so even if your DS is disappointed for a while once he's there he'll soon get to know lots of nice new friends, particularly if you all live close it will be really nice.

Take care of yourself and order more biscuits   

QueenJess

MagicCat said:

You have my every sympathy with the reflux, both mine had it and it's awful, really hoping no. 3 doesn't.  Have you tried the cushions for propping up the cot mattress? It was the only way mine would sleep, I tried raising the cot itself but they needed more of an angle.

I did that with DS and it made absolutely no difference. We even tried medication at one point, but that made no difference either. Had to wait it out in the end and took over a year 😭. I was constantly wearing DS round the house and everywhere!

I have higher hopes for DD as she seems to have actually read some of the baby books (DS just seemed to throw them out of the window..). However, she won't sleep in the cot as she doesn't like the space and only likes the Moses basket. Means it's difficult to raise that up. There is usually twice a day where she will sleep happily in there for a couple of hours... I'm hoping she'll get over it quicker. I can hope!

Still amazingly have some biscuits left, but must see if there are more I can try... DS keeps trying to steal my biscuits and chocolate. I mean, what kind of weird 4 year old likes 85% dark chocolate?!! Not sure what I've created there! 🤣

savingholmes

Glad things are settling a little. Good luck with it all. They are cute but such hard work at that age.

QueenJess

Well overdue an update, but just not had the energy.  Forgotten quite how lonely it is sometimes when you bf a child.. there is no one that can help you with that and the continuous cycle of feeding, changing and getting them back to sleep is exhausting.  I don't do well with under 6 hours of sleep a night and haven't had that since DD was born.  Feel like I'm just existing until she starts to last longer between feeds (probably another 2 months to go  ).

On the plus side she eats more than DS did at that age (even accounting for the fact she was much larger).  She is growing stupid amounts, so at least no problems there!

Have now decided it isn't much reflux and the problem is more wind/digestive stuff which I am therefore hoping she should grow out of in the coming month/2 months.  Even get her to sleep in her basket at night for all of 40 mins at a time, but at least that's something!  Tried to use the carriers in the day (DS was glued to me in those so I could actually do something), but she is having none of it.  She wants to just wriggle around and insists on eventually sleeping lying down on me.  Annoying as I am still stuck under a baby thinking of all the things I could be doing if she slept on her own (mostly me sleeping...).

Because of Covid, I don't think there are any baby groups around, although some may be online (bit odd..).  It was good in some sense last time to get out of the house, but no one had the problems I did with DS and all looked at me strangely whilst they happily and apparently not sleep deprived, played with their perfect children.  Just p****ed me off really and made me feel like I was the weirdo.  I probably should leave the house, but it all feels too difficult at the moment.  I'm just happy if I've been fed, got more than 4 hours sleep and had a shower in a day.  That's a pretty good day.

So bored with TV and internet surfing.  I resurrected my Kindle from the drawer, got it charged and downloaded some free classics onto it.  Now I can read whilst holding a baby (impossible to hold an actual book).  Going for simple things at the moment as my brain can't cope with anything too complex.  Reading a very early Agatha Christie at the moment.

Really missing being able to cook/bake at the moment.  Have so many ideas and the freezer is pretty much empty now (it did last 1.5 months to be fair to me!).  DH is cooking, but has no imagination and so we have the same things on the same days every week.  DS is happy with that, but I like to make different things!  This morning I managed to escape to the kitchen (left DH with DD) and made chocolate Krispie cakes.  It was brilliant, but I want more!  I've been slowly collating lists on my phone of recipes I want to try whenever I am able to do that.  Apparently DS likes chocolate and Krispies, but says he doesn't like them mixed together - classic logic for a 4 year old.  I wasn't kidding myself when I was making them though - they are basically for me!

How is it May already?  Not sure what happened to April..  Managed to organise myself enough to buy a birthday card for my sister online and have it ready to be posted for next week.  Also got DS to make one ready.  I left him to it at one point and when I came back he had covered the envelope with stickers, so I put his and mine in one envelope together to post.

Review of goals from April:

• Debt to joint aim £1,900, now at £2,300.  Epic fail here, which was due to a number of bills I wasn't expecting in April (the double electricity bill due to changing suppliers, fees for getting onto nursery books for DD for next year etc).  I also realised I had no chance of meeting it and ordered a few extra things (mainly consumables).  Must try to get this back to £2k for next month.  Just need to slowly eat away at it (for cashflow purposes) until August when we will have no nursery fees for the rest of the year and it will wipe out this whole debt.

• Debt to myself: £0 (April aim: £40) Decided to pay it off by moving some money around.  Plus, apparently I timed my baby perfectly as the silly formula for calculating your SMP for the first 6 weeks is based on the amount you received x weeks before the qualifying week, which is x weeks before the due date.  Anyway, it so happens that was the month I received my bonus and so for the first 6 weeks of my maternity leave I am being paid more than my actual salary.  Madness!  That will be going straight towards my ISA for this year.

• eBay listings: 52/30 - Got a bit obsessed and listed everything that I wanted to get rid of.  Can't believe someone even bought some half used pens!  Anyway, was more about making sure nothing went to waste, but have made about £300!  Still got about 40 items listed on there, but pretty much run out of things to declutter at the moment.  Will just be odds and ends now (probably as DD grows out of clothes or if I ever convince DS to get rid of some stuff).

• Charity donations (1 per month) 1/1

• Tech fund £56.17 / £1,000

DS has got into his first school choice, so we will be able to walk there.  However, the nursery basically next door is booked up for 3 years (I'm not sure how that is actually possible even with people apparently booking in the second they find out they are pregnant).  Anyway, we put her on the waiting list in case people drop out/drop from full time down to part time etc and also put her on the list for the one DS goes to.  I love the one DS goes to, but it is a car drive away and is going to be tricky to do a nursery and school run to totally different places.  Will see what happens..

QueenJess

Goals for May:

• Debt to joint aim £2,000 (April £2,300)

• eBay listings: 0/5

• Charity donations (1 per month, cumulative) 2/2

• Continue to slowly increase the Tech fund (savings from personal budget/eBay sales etc).  Savings from salary are all going to the EF+ (EF including saving for a new car whenever I might need one) and then all to the ISA until September when I can reassess the mortgage position when we will sign up to another 2 year fix.  EF will be done at the end of this month.

savingholmes

You sound like you are doing well especially £300 in sales while juggling a newborn

QueenJess

Been trying to take time away from DD this weekend - taking advantage of DH not working. By the time it got to yesterday DD was not entirely happy about the arrangement and was missing her mummy. Currently she is sleeping very happily cuddled up to me.

Really miss being able to cook/bake and I have been developing a big list of recipes I would like to try when I can in the future. I took advantage this weekend and made one thing everyday, but just makes me want to do more! Made the chocolate Krispie cakes on Sat, a lovely chocolate sponge with chocolate buttercream yesterday (with the help of my chief taster DS) and two batches of oat biscuits today (one with drizzled chocolate on the top and the other with chocolate chips). I halved the sugar content in the biscuits and I love them! They are so easy to make and can easily be amended to be any flavour you wanted. I would happily have these to replace supermarket ones.

House is just about acceptable. I managed to clean all the bathroom sinks at least, but the rest is only passable. Hoping to get round to cleaning the toilets next... Just trying to do a little bit a day to keep up with it.

Cleared out a drawer of DS's things yesterday and rediscovered a book of paper aeroplanes. DS was super excited to make some of these and has been testing how far each one will go. Feel bad I spend so little time with him at the moment, but things seem impossible right now and I can't even get enough sleep. Just waiting it out and hoping DD gets into a nice routine soon.

Out of desperation (and sick of being a human dummy ALL the time - I don't mind most the time, but the hour she glued herself to me yesterday was so annoying and also painful!)  I tried giving DD a dummy earlier. She has a lot of character in her face for a baby - think she gets it from me. Anyway, the dummy did not go down well and was spat out and then I got "the glare". Similar to the glare I get if she feels I was too slow starting feeding or giving her the vitamin D she detests. All fun and games...

Sold another 8 things on eBay and so packaged up 6 of them ready to go (2 not yet paid). Really need to put a few more bits on to clear my "eBay room" further, but not feeling it at the moment. Got rid of a huge pile of packaging and am happy I kept all packaging and reused it. I like less waste 🙂.

Found a recipe for veggie chilli which looks really nice. Can do it in the slow cooker too, so will try that next weekend when DH can hold DD. Thought it would be a good freezer meal. DH already complaining about the lack of meat, despite me switching us to two meat free days in the last year which he insists we keep as we like the meals! I shall continue to ignore him 🤣

In the meantime I shall sit around reading and finding more recipes to plan/plot lots of lovely meal plans and more meat free meals.

May track my no spend days this month as shock tactic to myself. Too much time sat around on the internet is bad on my bank balance. Managed to spend everyday this month already and today was definitely unnecessary. I bought myself a pie dish as the one I use is just the wrong size and not really a pie dish - it irritates me, but been using it for about 20 years.  Maybe if I do enough cooking and cleaning this year, I can convince DH I don't need to work at all... I can dream 🤣