Seeking a simpler, less frantic and much slower way of life.

dreaming

greenbee said:

VJsmum said:

Fabulous post, dreaming, thank you for it.

I'm sorry for your loss 

Seconded.

You make a good point that while people may have prepped for shortages/lack of access to shops, very few people have prepared for the mental and emotional impacts of lockdown. And yet many of the scenarios that serious preppers use involve isolation - natural disasters, breakdown of society etc. So it's a sobering lesson that we need to think about how to prepare for the psychological impact of change as well as the practical aspects for physical survival. 

Growing up and as a young adult, I  suffered from depression  - mainly by not accepting my natural introversion and feeling that I had to be part of the mad social whirl that others semed to enjoy. Fortunately, although as I said in previous post I can still feel the pressure to be "busy", I am much more aware of my limits and will withdraw when I need to, and in that sense I am fairly well-suited to lockdown conditions. However I am fully aware that many people have suffered great emotional/psychological turmoil during the lockdown but I'm not sure how those impacts can be easily prepared for. I know some of the "serious preppers" do practice spending time in isolation (as well as testing their supplies) but it's not quite the same when you are in control of when that isolation ends. It's similar to MP's who  "sleep rough" for a couple of nights then pack up and go and have a nice bath and breakfast and think they understand what it like to be homeless. Although there is a lot of sociological theory and debate about how much real control we all have over our own lives,I would guess that most people (in modern societies at least) feel like they are able to exrcise a good deal of free choice over their own lives - especially in the last 60 or so years. Many of those choices, that "control"(whether real or imaginary), seemed to be taken away because of the virus, and that is what seems to have had the biggest impact on people, and maybe that is what is at the heart of boazu's post. Of course, we all do still have some choices - we can obey the "rules" wholly, in part, or not at all. I am a fairly law-abiding citizen and try to consider other people's welfare (physical and mental), so I do wear the mask when shopping and keep socially-distanced as much as possible. I don't quarantine or wash my groceries/deliveries but do wash my hands regularly. However I don't worry too much about those who don't wear masks etc. I try to avoid those people as much as possible but accept that it is their choice how to live their lives, and I don't know what their circumstances are - whether they have breathing problems for instance. Some of the more flagrant flouters/deniers I can occasionally get worked up about as it will be my darling child (or one of her colleagues) who will work her socks off to tend to them if they do get ill. Then again, it's the same with people who choose to do extreme sports, or take drugs etc. and it is what she chose to do (and does it without judgement).
When I first read boazu's original post I couldn't help thinking that many people on these forums (and elsewhere of course), have expressed a wish for a slower. more simpler way of life without all the bustle of modern-day pressures. Well, now it's arrived (been thrust upon us) for some but obviously created new pressures of its own. I hope we can all find our way through what are undoubtedly difficult and worrying times. People as a whole are extremely adaptable and I'm pretty sure life will go on one way or another.

greenbee

dreaming said:

When I first read boazu's original post I couldn't help thinking that many people on these forums (and elsewhere of course), have expressed a wish for a slower. more simpler way of life without all the bustle of modern-day pressures. Well, now it's arrived (been thrust upon us) for some but obviously created new pressures of its own. I hope we can all find our way through what are undoubtedly difficult and worrying times. People as a whole are extremely adaptable and I'm pretty sure life will go on one way or another.

That's another very shrewd observation. In case anyone is interested, I've just watched this - a much simpler life, with more rules and fewer decisions for the individual to make: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00071xr 

Jellytotts

From the title of the post, you need to identify what parts of your current lifestyle are making you/life so frantic.  

Between the allotment and garden, keeping wood stores stocked up and general house maintenance I can be busy every day and frantic for a few hours of every day when dealing with produce/cooking/preserving but that's not all year.  I make sure I have hobbies set and ready to pick up and I make sure I have an hour a day when I do my hobbies, guilt free.  My hubby is disabled and caring for him has fits and starts, we might have 3 or 4 disturbed nights sleep in a row so I've learnt to cut back on those days so that I don't burn out.  

We live a very "lockdown" lifestyle anyway as finances and disabilities don't allow for a "big" life but we've crafted a lifestyle that works for us.  If I want a frantic day cleaning windows/floors/scrubbing bathrooms and trying to deal with kilos and kilos of produce picked from the garden then I expect to feel stressed for a few days after.  But that doesn't last and normality returns.

During lockdown we've been very sensible, DH doesn't go into shops unless he really has/wants to and then fully masked and hand gel/hand washing as required.  Our family has visited in the garden, we've been on a few trips out (local park to pick berries), walk along the seafront with a flask of coffee and a couple of drives to local towns charity shops to replenish a few wardrobe requirements.

We've not panicked over the virus, we don't want it but I've never seen the sense in washing everything down (groceries), our immune systems will go nuts if we don't have some germs.  There's a sense to people shielding if they have certain health conditions and I get the idea that our elderly population is more at risk but if you're healthy enough to be at allotments and doing the required work there then I'd say your probably a fit and healthy specimen who can afford to relax a little.

From the tone of the original poster I'd be concerned that the anxiety Levels portrayed are a little on the "high" side and maybe bordering into the "depression/anxiety" range that may benefit from some GP help/reassurance.  Mental health is always going to take a knock when circumstances change beyond our control, some people can adjust, others can't and asking for help needs to be normalised.

Nargleblast

Very sensible and balanced posts from Dreaming and Jellytotts. Accept what you can't change, change what you can, make the most of what you have.

maryb

I accept that I am a bit of an emotional, impulse spender.  Changing that is hard.  But lockdown has actually helped since I don't go out more than necessary - retail therapy is no fun at the moment.  So with the weather changing slowly but surely towards autumn, I am looking through my wardrobe and seeing what I absolutely need for the life I actually lead, not the life I get tempted by.  I might get a new insulated waterproof to keep me warm and dry but if I can't find one I like I can get by with what I've got.  That's simpler and less stressful than spending and getting shopper's remorse

GreyQueen

Funny you should be thinking about waterproofs, Maryb, Imwas having the same go-round before lockdown, even to the point of being in stores and trying things on. They’re not cheap, are they?! I normally finish up old waterproof shell jackets whilst gardening, but the current incumbent was already a used model when I bought it, and would leak in heavy rain. But, if it’s raining heavily, I normally go home, and couldn’t see the wisdom in spending a lot on a de facto gardening jacket. I decided to use what I already have and, tbh, am not missing the chore of shopping and the bank account is looking better for it.

maryb

 I may well be able to resist.  Even paying lots of money doesn't necessarily mean it will fit.   I will probably end up rewaxing my 15 year old Barbour.  DH hates it because he thinks it will leave a wax deposit on the seats of the car but I usually wear it when I'm walking places and the wax wears in after a week or two

newlywed

Thanks for the tips on this thread. 

I work full time but from home at the moment, wasn’t sure where the 2 hour a day commute went... but in reflection it has been sucked up by Facebook groups, and forums. 

Facebook groups all removed, account deactivated. And now to spend less time reading about other people’s lives and problems and be more selective to make sure the threads I read will have some benefit to me. 

VJsmum

Yes, FB and Twitter can take up a lot of your time and energy.  I keep facebook mainly for a couple of really useful groups i belong to - one is connected with my little micro camper car and it's amazing to see what people do with the space!  Twitter i limit (or try to) to only going back an hour or so rather than back to the last time i was on - most things get repeated anyway.

I've just finished four and a half years of PhD, and am now trying to think how to constructively fill the additional time i now have.  I will be working a couple of days a week term time but want to use the remainder in a constructive way - i know there's nothing wrong with sitting and knitting and reading (also constructive IMO) but there is only so much of that i can do.  One project i'm considering is looking up my ancestry on my father's side.  He left when i was 5 and i had very little contact with him after that and he died when i was 21 He was of Welsh origin and i've always felt rather 'Welsh' since i first visited Wales in my early twenties so would love to know more about it.  Unfortunately my maiden name is Roberts so i may have my work cut out!

Nargleblast

Talking about ancestry, VJsmum, I had my DNA tested through AncestryUK. I am 87% Yorkshire/East Midlands, 10% Scottish/Irish and 3% Norwegian. I bought my son and daughter testing kits last Christmas. Can't remember what my daughter said her results were, but my son is a right mix. 74% Yorkshire/East Midlands/Northwest/Isle of Man, 15% Scottish/Irish, 9% Swedish and 2% Norwegian. Fascinating stuff.