Seeking a simpler, less frantic and much slower way of life.

[Deleted User]

Life sometimes seems to run away with us, we seem to always be watching what's happening here in the UK and in the rest of the world sitting on a cliff edge, 24 hour news coverage makes everything seem more frantic and repeat showing over and over of the same disaster clip magnifies  the feeling of being not in charge of our own lives.  I'd love to find a way of stepping back from all the modern media pressure and find a simpler, slower less commercial way of living without cutting us off from the reality of life in the covid pandemic.  I'd like to find a slower, gentler and more contented way of life for the years we have left.  Suggestions for changes to help us achieve this would be very much appreciated.

Whitefiver

Hi,

My suggestions:-

• Ditch any social media - maybe keep skype/whatsapp simply for communications with others
• Don't listen to Radio 4 /Radio 5 News/current affairs or anything with a phone-in
• Investigate some music stations Classic FM/Scala and so on with their short news bulletins
• TV - be very, very selective. Pick what you want to watch, and then turn it off.
• Join/Use a library. Can also give you online access to books, and quality newspapers
• Grow stuff, and cook from scratch
• Give yourself an occasional treat - a square of dark chocolate, for example.
• Exercise - daily walk at the very least
• Ditch any social media
• Keep a smile on your face, and talk to people you meet. Easy if you  have a dog, or like dogs!

OK - let me emphasise these are just my thoughts. I'm not saying I adhere to them, as I'm forever swearing at the radio, and so on.

Let the flames commence......

greenbee

Great tips from @Whitefiver

I think a lot of people have started thinking about this during/post lockdown. It certainly seems to be the case given the number of people looking to move out to cities in search of some kind of rural idyll. 

The first thing you need to do is really think about what you want to do with your time - what do you enjoy doing? This will depend on what stage you are at in your life as well. There's a huge difference between someone starting out on their journey as an adult and someone who is closer to the end. Likewise earning vs. retired; young children at home vs. teens at home; children who have left home; grandchildren. And these don't happen to everyone at the same age. 

Limiting exposure to news (remember when it was something we sat down to watch/listen to once a say and just got headlines in between, or we read the newspaper at breakfast/in the evening to get details/commentary/opinion?) can help. If you do feel you need to keep up with the news, then manage the exposure to a specific amount of time/time of day, and vary your sources.

Digital detox - limit your time online (if you spend time online other than for the news). Read books instead, listen to music in the background rather than having the TV/radio on. You can set your router so that you can't connect to wifi between certain hours

Lockdown has given me plenty of time to consider this, partly due to work changing drastically (100% home-based instead of 25% home, 75% travel) and partly due to sickness (covid/post-covid syndrome). It's been nice to be at home, appreciating the house for what it is (and being motivated to finish it). I've enjoyed cooking again (so need to get the kitchen installed), something I don't generally have time for. I've spent time in the garden, and it's finally been worth growing a few bits of fruit and veg, but only as much as we can eat - and we're growing stuff we like and can't always get hold of easily. No point in growing potatoes when we rarely eat them, or onions, which are cheap and plentiful in the shops. We don't get through a huge amount of food, even being at home so much more, so there's no point in going overboard. Enough to enjoy the luxury of really fresh veg, with the odd bit frozen if we can't eat it before it goes over (tomatoes will be frozen whole in bags later today as they're beating us). 

I've also enjoyed spending more time on the rest of the garden, making it an inviting, relaxing place to spend time. While I enjoy the fruit and veg growing, and get a lot of satisfaction from that, and the rest of the gardening, what I really like is lying in the hammock with a book in the sunshine surrounded by flowers and insects or sitting in a recliner with a drink in the evening enjoying the scent of the roses and nicotiana, or eating with friends under the wisteria-and-roses covered pergola. 

I can enjoy the garden on my own as an escape from the stress of work, or with friends for a meal. In winter I hope to say the same of the house, but at the moment (just back from holiday with friends) it's a tip as we're sorting washing and cleaning and tidying. 

In addition to that, morning and evening pilates and yoga to keep myself flexible, strong and centred. Meditation and mindfulness to keep me focussed on what's important. And If I stop enjoying things, taking time to work out why, and reprioritise. 

So while I should be spending today giving the house a deep clean, I've tidied enough to get the vacuum robots running round, am doing laundry that will have to go in the TD because it keeps raining, but I will feel mentally better once it is clean and out of the way, and I'm going to drink coffee and read the book that my 9-year-old nephew lent me because he loves it so much he wants me to enjoy it too. 

Floss

Boazu, am I right in thinking you have a newsfeed as your computer screensaver? Maybe change it for some pictures of favourite holiday destinations, family or celebrations to make you smile when you see them, rather than seeing news stories when you haven't chosen to.

I don't watch the news now, I've changed my wake-up radio to a music station from R4 and only flick onto the BBC website once a day if at all. I also don't buy any papers, even at weekends.

Working from home has made my life slower & quieter - no 7.30am commute on a busy motorway for a start - and I am lucky to have a garden to sit in & enjoy when I finish work.

-taff

Stop watching the news. Stop reading newspapers. Maybe watch the news once a week for any big stuff, maybe read a newspaper once a week for info. Stop watching live television. Watch only programs you like, turn it off when you're not.

Doing those things wil make you happier pretty much instantly. Find something to occupy your time constructively or for enjoyment.

Stay off social media, it's really fake anyway and has a false sense of urgency and importance. Limit your forum visits to once a day, every couple of days, maybe, and only read threads you're interested in.

I stopped watching the news and reading newspapers over fiftenn years ago. I read newspapers online occasionally, more so during this pandemic, but I haven't missed anything by not worrying how bad the news portrays the world and I'm  a lot happier.

[Deleted User]

Thanks very much for the input, we do watch the news every morning and it might be sense to not watch every day, OH takes a daily newspaper which we have delivered but we quarantine it so he reads 3 days late!  We walk for an hour/hour and a half every day because we're lucky to be close enough to access countryside lanes and footpaths and always feel better when we've done that.  We are gardeners and have allotments so do grow much of what we eat and I cook from scratch and am simplifying meals and behaving like a manic squirrel at the moment with preserves, dehydrating and freezing crops so that's where I'm happy with life.  Social media I really only do here and that has it's moments but I can't and don't do face book, twitter etc. or go online to any other interactive areas, don't game at all, even the thought I find grim,  our library is tiny and is open again but not for people to go and choose their own books, the volunteers who man it will go and get books they think will suit your tastes and bring them to the front door so not really much use as we'd already read through the selections they have in areas that interest us and no new stock going in due to financial difficulties, don't really have very many contacts as we only moved here a couple of years ago.  Given covid and it's restrictions we don't see as much of the family as we'd thought we would but really what I'd like to do is a cross between Hygge and Living like the past but while still recognising that we live in 2020, it's difficult to put all that together and come out with a viable idea.  Any ideas that can make life less worrysome and altogether smoother and less frown making will be very much looked into and if they suit what I want to achieve taken on board and put in our life.

We have our supermarket deliveries, have just about gotten used to that and we're getting to grips with internet shopping for most other things but life as it is for each of us is upside down and inside out and I confess to feeling just a little bit lost.  I usually know exactly where I want us to go but in these very uncertain times I don't see the way clearly and that isn't where I'm comfortable.  Not alone in feeling this way I'm certain!

3secondmemory

Maybe you just should stop and breathe! You are doing okay! 

It’s good that you can get your thoughts out, you write very well! 

The things that you are expressing are general and rational anxieties about the current situation and how we are going to manage long-term. But you are doing okay because you are thinking ahead. No one knows the answers, some people running round like headless chickens and others are completely ignoring the fact that times are going to get tougher for all of us. 

It sounds like you’re doing all that you can do, and this is one of several good places where you can get good advice. 

Have you done anything fun lately? Maybe you should put your slightly overactive brain to use and come up with something you could do that was fun different and Covid safe? 😃

Hard_Up_Hester

Another one here who stopped following online news, I deleted many people from FB who were scaremongering and I only watch tv occasionally.
Maybe something like mindfulness meditation would be helpful.
My world has shrunk with the effects of covid, there is no respite available for OH and the places I used to volunteer have closed down.

Rowan9

I don’t watch the news, bought a paper today but only for the crossword puzzles. Rarely buy maybe once every couple months when I fancy doing these ones. 

I enjoy mindfulness and meditation, was going to classes and might start their online option now. 

Really enjoying working from home. Lovely park with beautiful old trees for a few walks a day with our dog or a ten minute car drive to the sea. Love the sea air. Love seeing the sea itself. Very grounding. 

Being with happy positive people is good too! Love a good laugh and this can be over the phone/ zoom etc now as well. 

Nargleblast

My village library is still closed, but the county has introduced a Library Online Service. I registered using my library card number, there are nine libraries in the county that have reopened with this  service so I chose the nearest of those, about 3 miles away. I select three books (that's the maximum) from their catalogue. Within 24 hours I get a phone call telling me when they will be ready to collect(usually just a few days). I go (wearing a mask of course) in on the day within the times stated, they give me the books in a brown paper bag with my name on it, and I put any returned books in one of the plastic boxes by the counter. I am hoping that soon my village library will reopen, it's literally a two minute walk away, but for now this system works fine. It is so nice to read a proper dead tree format book rather than the bletherings and rantings of politicians and celebrities, half of whom I have never heard of.

kazwookie

Walking and gardening are my things, the views I have around here are lovely.

I have the telly turned off during that day, OH puts it on about 6pm for the news, but I'm generally cooking at that time.

I generally don't have the radio on loud either.