Fiwen takes flight(?)

fiwen30

Sarahwithlove said:

Why doesn't he wait for black friday for his ps5?
That's exciting about the house. As hard as it is to give over the control at least when you come home from work alot of it should be done. 
Ha you'll have to go for a quiet Xmas next year in your own home instead. 

Ask me another, re. Black Friday, I don’t understand the appeal of the PS5 tbh. Will be keeping a look out for deals on ovens though!

So NI have announced a further lockdown, with all non-essential retail to close for 2 weeks from 29th November - so that means our shop! We’ll just about scrape in our completion, and then it looks like I’ll have the same 2 weeks 
off work as my partner, albeit his are booked holidays. Bit of a silver lining, since now we’ll both be able to work on the house, and I won’t be freaking out about not being directly involved; although I’m not looking forward to 2 weeks on furlough pay.

Went down to the floor shop again today, and have ordered laminate for 4 rooms, plus hall & landing, with fitting to be done on the 8th & 9th of December, just squeezing in at the end of my lockdown period. Should give us time to get decorated, before the floors arrives and it turns out we hate the colours together, or something! 😂

In other news, the pets are determined to cost us a fortune, and we have 4 waiting on vet appointments right now. 2 rabbits need their yearly vaccinations, which is fine. Kitten started making a funny coughing noise last week, which eased with meds but is coming back a little, so needs another check. Dog has also decided it’s a great time to start limping a little after lying down on 1 side - he’s almost 10, and already on joint supplements, so we’re crossing fingers it’s nothing too serious. Aside from the cost, it’s finding the time too. With us both working every day between now and completion, it’s tricky to squeeze everything in to where it needs to go.

fiwen30

Jeeeesus, this year though. This bloody rotten awful good for nothing year.

Serves me right getting my hopes up about something. Apparently our shop which had been classed as non-essential in the first lockdown, has now been wedged into the ‘homeware’ definition by our greedy, grasping directors, and so we have to stay open. I am absolutely furious. On a personal level, because I won’t be able to help with the house; and on a public level, because our shop is not a homeware shop - it’s a glorified gift shop & confectioners, which just happens to sell chairs, of which we currently have about 4 in stock. It sells expensive, frivolous, tat to people with too much money. It is the very definition of non-essential, and I’ll seeth with resentment at every person who steps foot in the door during those 2 weeks.

Lockdowns happen for a reason. It’s not some fun frippery, it’s to stop people getting sick and dying. My partner is one of those people who are acutely prone to that getting sick and dying. By exploiting the rules to stay open, when it’s so important that everything non-essential closes, and that people stay at home as much as possible, the company is risking the health and safety of people like my partner.

Cannot express how angry I am about all this.

fiwen30

2020 is determined to wring out every last fibre of my being. Vet appointment did not go well this morning.

Kitten, well, young cat, may just be a ‘chesty’ person, after his bouts with cat flu when he was 12 weeks old. He’s had another steroid injection, with X-rays in the pipeline if he doesn’t improve. We’re to keep an eye on his respiration, and be prepared to keep bringing him back for ABs indefinitely.

Dog was worse. It seems like my lovely old boy has rather severe arthritis on both hips. Je’s due in for X-rays on Wednesday, and has been given pain relief in the meantime, but it looks very likely like he’ll be going onto stronger stuff right away. I feel absolutely wretched. He’s a funny crossbreed, and so has always been very genetically disadvantaged with his legs, but I just can’t believe it’s got that bad, so quickly, and without him giving any sort of indication. I’ve had him on a joint supplement preemptively for the past 9 months, but I never thought he would ever be this bad. Wishful thinking, I suppose.

I’m looking into suitable dog beds, sofa & car ramps, grippy indoor booties, rugs & runners for all the new laminate we’ve just bought, and have booked him in to be assessed at a canine hydrotherapy clinic.

Manager is being very gracious with me chopping and changing my shifts at the last minute, and I’m trying to be as positive, upbeat, and proactive about this as I can, but all I really want to do is curl up in a corner and sob.

I honestly can’t remember that last time I had a run of more than about 3 months, without something causing soul-deep stress, or sadness. It’s been years now, and I’ve always put my head down, pushed through, and kept plodding along, but my god I am so tired. I often wonder what it would be like to be a person who is happy and carefree the majority of the time. It must feel so light.

Edit to add: there is also the cost aspect of all of this. Even if Kitten doesn’t need an X-ray, the cost of 1 X-ray for our dog, plus ongoing pain relief on top of his current meds for his heart murmur, plus hydrotherapy at £35 per session, is going to leave us more pushed for money each month. Depending on the frequency of his hydro sessions, I’ll likely give up my dance class, and the cost of his meds will have to come from what we would usually put aside each month.

Now that our Help To Buy ISA is finished, we’ll have about £340 leftover to save each month, plus any change from our monthly budget. I had been paying into a Vet Fund these past few months, but everything I had saved has been spent now, and so X-ray costs etc. will have to come from the money we have leftover for decorating & outfitting the new house. I try not to worry, but gosh it’s hard.

fiwen30

Sorry for no update these past few days, everything moves so fast sometimes, it’s hard to keep updating the need-to-know-people, let alone blog about it!

In short: dog had clear X-rays. This should be great news, only he is still visible lame. We’re keeping on the painkiller and home management (rugs, no jumping, very short walks), and he’s still going for his hydrotherapy assessment. It could be non-presenting arthritis, or it could be muscle-based, and so we’ll need to try out a few different things to try and get him comfortable.

Kitten has seemed fine since his last steroid injection on Monday, but made a couple of those same noises late last night. Seems like the steroids are treating the symptom, rather than the problem, so it looks like he’ll need to go back in.

We completed on the house on Thursday!!
Absolutely thrilled, and getting more excited now that partner is off work for 2 weeks to start fixing it up. The vender left some crap lying around, and we’ve noticed a laundry list of little diy jobs that need doing, but that’s not dimming the shine too much. Had the locks changed yesterday by a lovely man who also adjusted and fixed all the doors for us, and squeezed us in over lunch too, bless him.
Think we’ve made all our paint choices as well, and will be ordering them over the weekend for a cool 20% off.
Partner is getting stuck in with moving and building the garden furniture today, rather glad I’m not available to help with that one!

Still pretty miffed that our shop is staying open during this lockdown, the NI regulations have been clear as mud.
In one breath they say that any business that had to close during the March lockdown, must close this time too. Then in the next, they say that ‘homeware’ shops may stay open, in the same line as ‘building supplies’ and ‘hardware’. Trouble is, so many (big) businesses are using the ‘homeware’ part to justify keeping their gift & home interior shops open; when similar (small) businesses have been told to close, as ‘homeware’ should refer to ‘home improvement’ retail - eg. Homebase, B&Q and the like. So paint tins, caulk, and screwdrivers; not cushions and lamps - one of those things is essential, the other, not so much.

Manager hasn’t released the rota for the 2nd lockdown week yet, but I can’t imagine the directors will go back on their decision to stay open, or that the shops will be forced to close somehow; although the public are beginning to pick up on the fact that we’re staying open, with mixed response. Similar business owners that have closed are furious, whereas shoppers are either confused and a bit annoyed, or overjoyed.

It’ll be a long day today - I can’t stand behind our till telling people what I really think, that it’s a greed-fuelled abomination, and that the directors should be ashamed of themselves, and that the people coming into store are selfish. At the same time, I’m not sure if I can smile and nod along with the ‘oh isn’t it great that you’re open’ brigade, good thing about the mask is that I don’t actually have to smile, I suppose.

fiwen30

Gosh it’s been a long few weeks!

Can’t go into everything, but suffice to say we’ve moved in at least! There’s still bits from the old house to collect, and we still have to clean and tidy the place up for the 30th. Between that and both of us working retail, it’ll be a pretty stressful period again this year. We’ve given up on Christmas, my birthday, and New Years this year, we just have no time or money - will try again in 2021!

The new house has been about a third painted, but won’t get looking at the rest till January. It’s still a bombsite too, with bags and boxes all over the place. The rabbits need their enclosures properly building & winter-proofing, but it’s so hard to find a dry few hours in the infrequent days we have off work. We put off plumbing in the washing machine because there were always more pressing things to get done, and now it turns out we don’t have the right parts for it 🙄 Also the new locks we had put in the front door don’t lock from the inside. Again, finding time to get it sorted has been impossible. Vendors filled the black general waste bin half full with soil and garden rubbish instead of putting it into the brown garden/kitchen bin - it weighs an absolute ton, we can’t move it, and until we get time to try and tip it over and shovel all the guff out, we’re having to take our bin bags to the dump every other day. The shower door over the bath leaks somewhere, and floods the entire bathroom when we take a shower; we’re going through so many towels trying to stem it each time.

So we might be in, but it’s not exactly comfortable, or homey.

At the moment it seems like all we do is go to work, and then fall into bed. Haven’t had chance to update my budget in about 2 weeks, and all of the ‘little’ purchases soon stack up. Winter doesn’t help, the short daylight hours and poor weather make me want to cry, and it’s so hard to squeeze in everything you have to do each day.

Keep telling myself that this is just the final push, the hard part is over, and that the new year will look better.

fiwen30

Maybe a little sweet spot, right at the end of this godforsaken year - NI is going into a proper, full, 6-week lockdown, as of Boxing Day, to include our shop, this time! Had my last day today - one of those ones where everyone just gets on your last nerve. I used up my ‘people quota’ 2 hours into my shift, and after that I was grinding my teeth and clenching my fists in my head at everyone. We’ve been pulling so many late nights these past few weeks, I was just glad to see the back of the place.

So that 6 weeks of settling in, unpacking, and getting the rest of the painting done to look forward to. Must admit, it’ll be a bit of a relief. Still haven’t sorted out the old rental house, and with the inspection on the 30th, there’s no time for slacking off just yet. I’ve earmarked Christmas Day for rest and relaxation, but every other day will be nose-to-grindstone to get the place cleared, cleaned, and made ready. Can’t remember the last time I had a peaceful, happy Christmas time - must’ve been about 5 years ago now! There always seems to be some stress, drama, or heartbreak at this time of year. Pretty sick of it, if I’m honest! Maybe next year, she says, again.

fiwen30

Aaaaaand breeeeeeatheeee.

Tomorrow is the final day of our previous tenancy. Today was meant to be our final inspection, but the landlord has to get a COVID test and so is self isolating. The house and garden are pretty damn spotless, for saying we eventually didn’t have a great deal of time to get it done. My partner has been an absolute rock, I couldn’t have got it finished without him - since losing my mum, my executive function has completely disappeared, and I’ve been finding it almost impossible to arrange basic tasks into the correct order for easy completion.

Today was also my 30th birthday, which was spent mostly on the sofa watching films and eating a lot of cheese. Very difficult to have spent this holiday season without my mum, I think if we hadn’t been so busy with work and the old house, it would have been much more heartbreaking.

My poor dog continues to be lame, in a way that his healthcare professionals can’t seem to agree on. All I know is that he’s not ‘right’, and I’m finding myself at a bit of a loss as to how to help him. He’s on pain relief which is working, as he’s not showing pain symptoms like previously, but his lameness seems to be mechanical. He walks with a bad hop in the house, moves easier and more freely outside on his very short, slow walks, but can’t stand stationary for periods of time without his back end swaying wildly all over the place.

We can’t get seen by the physio till the 12th, when she’s coming out to the house for an hour long assessment, the hydrotherapy clinic is closed till the 4th, so I can’t make any more appointments, which just leaves the vets. The last time we were there, he didn’t display any of the behaviours he does at home, naturally, and the vet could only give him another laser therapy treatment. One of the things I dislike most about COVID is not being able to go inside the vet clinic anymore - car park diagnoses are much more difficult, as he’s distracted and stressed by the vehicles and other people, and you obviously can’t let the animals move at liberty to show their way of going and how they’re showing lameness. His new pain meds on top of his heart meds cost a fortune, plus the cost of his hydro and physio. I’ve already written off my dance class for the foreseeable, to cover some of the expense, but the rest will need a look into the budget, which is stretched enough as it is.

This month has been a complete write off, financially. Between buying our new home at the end of November, Christmas, and these unexpected, ongoing, vet costs, we’ve spent a fortune. I can’t even bring myself to close out the budget this month - I’m just going to turn the pages, try to forget about it, and start again next month.

I’m on furlough for the next 6 weeks, but no idea how much that’ll work out as. As a clinically extremely vulnerable person, partner has been advised not to go to work for these 6 weeks. He is legally only entitled to SSP this time around, but his employer has graciously allowed him and his other colleagues full pay for the first 2 weeks, and then to be reviewed for the remaining 4.

The house is slowly becoming more like a home. Partner fixed the front door lock with a hammer, we got the bin sorted out, and we hung some of our pictures in the living room to have the place look more like ours. I’m still grateful for this ‘time off’ together, to get a bit of control over the place, but hoping to do it with a very tight grasp on the finances this month!

fiwen30

Finally took my head out of the December-sand, and did our budget for this pay cheque. Had been putting off totalling up our current pet costs, as I knew they were going to be pretty big - with our dog’s new pain meds, our monthly pet costs (food, litter, meds) is coming in at £290. That’s without the physio, hydro, and equipment costs for pup’s rehab, which has gained its own category in the budget now!

After feeling a bit faint, I carried on crunching the numbers, and with some reduced outgoings during this lockdown, we should still be ok for the month, once my own pay comes in. Not for the first time do I wish we both got paid on the same date! It always makes me nervous knowing there are still bits of budget outstanding, till my own money comes in.

I’m religiously following The Budget Mom methods of budgeting this year, which includes creating ‘Sinking Funds’, which enable you to save specific amounts for those expected expenses over a period of time, in order to have the cash to pay for them rather than having to use credit or pull from your overall savings. So this year we have sinking funds for - car insurance (paid annually, in June), car maintenance (MOT, services), new fence fund, friend’s wedding (July, may or may not go ahead/be attending, COVID-permitting), valentines & anniversary (so we can have some aspect of surprise, since we share a joint account for spending), a few various birthdays, and Christmas. We also have rolling sinking funds for vet bills & non-routine pet costs, household, and an emergency fund (aiming for 3 months of expenses - £3000/£4500).

It took me about 5 hours to get everything in order for the month, the years budget calendar written up, and all the sinking funds planned out. Partner is appreciative of my efforts to keep the household on track financially, and kept me well supplied with cups of tea whilst he sorted out the rest of the dishes, washing, & tidying up, bless him.

Got the next 3 weeks of grocery shopping lined up either for home delivery, or click & collect, which will go a long way towards proper meal planning and saving some ££. Also picked up a hi-tech warm coat and a drying fleece coat for the pup secondhand on eBay for half the price I was going to pay for them new! The rest will go towards this months physio costs.

Been tackling my studio room today, which turned into a dumping ground for all the unpacked bags & boxes. Made 6 bags of rubbish for the tip, and now have enough floor space to start moving the furniture around to where I want it, and then to start painting the walls! Have already told partner that I’d rather do all the decorating myself, if he’ll pick up the daily house chores while I work, which is a happy arrangement. There’s still the hall & stairs, my studio, and our bedroom to have the walls painted. I also want to do an overhaul of the kitchen - paint the walls & ceiling, clean, undercoat & paint the cabinet doors & frames, spray paint the handles, regrout and paint the tiles, vinyl wrap the countertops, replace the taps, and then lay a new lino floor. 5 weeks today till our expected return to work date, wonder if I’ll get it all done in time??

fiwen30

Bit of a hiccup to the year so far - partner had an unexpected £85 taken from his account, from a Norton antivirus annual subscription that he’d forgotten about. Will be adding this to the list of annual expenses for next year, so we don’t get hit again 🙄

Had to be an adult and phone LPS today about the rates - we’d set up a direct debit for them, but the timing hadn’t worked out, and so we’ve to pay 4 months of rates in 2 instalments in February and March, and then the new year will begin and hopefully even out again. Mortgage and house insurance seem to be coming out without any problems, thankfully.

Currently in a stand off with my ex landlord about imaginary cleaning costs that they want to deduct from the deposit, which I’m hoping will be resolved fairly by the adjudicator for the deposit scheme.

Had a no spend day today, and finished up painting my art studio and moving the furniture into place. Partner was able to chop my tall metal shelving units down a little, so that they fit snugly under the eaves - this has saved floor space, enabled me to arrange the room how I wanted, and cost the price of a new hacksaw (£15) as opposed to a new set of shorter shelves (£££). I eventually want to spray paint the metal frames of both the shelves and my computer desk, get a proper worktop for my cutting table, and change out the light switch & sockets for new plates, and then that’s the room finished! I’m so pleased with it, it’s a lovely pale sage green and cream, with 2 pretty eaves walls, and lots of light through the velux window.

We’ve booked in more hydro sessions for our dog, and he has his first vet physio assessment on the 12th. Hoping that will put us in the right path to fixing him properly, rather than just medicating the pain.

Tomorrow is to call the solicitor re. an inheritance I’m due to receive, unpack the boxes in my studio, and maybe make a start on painting the bedroom. We’re mostly shopping our cupboards this week, made a big batch of curry yesterday, and likely throwing together some sort of burrito filling tomorrow.

fiwen30

Had a busy few days!

Managed to get hold of some loft boards from a local hardware shop - these have been like gold dust in the last few weeks, when they were all over the place before Xmas! This has meant we now have both eaves spaces fully floored, and have everything that needs to be stored put away. If I’m honest, there was probably more rubbish that we could’ve thrown out which got put in there, but right now I’m just glad it’s out of sight, and not cluttering the house anymore.

Dog had his vet physio assessment this afternoon - she thinks he’s damaged both cruciates in his rear legs, which isn’t great news, but she’s optimistic for him. We’re continuing with holistic therapies, hydro, and increasing his pain meds, and she’ll reassess in a couple of weeks. He’s a pricy boy anyway, but with potential double cruciate surgery on the horizon, I’ll be socking away as much as possible between now and then. Partner may jus have to wait to get the motorbike he’s been dreaming about!

We’re both finding this lockdown more awkward and uncomfortable than the last. A combination of feeling like the lazy Xmas time off is over, and we want to ‘get back to doing’, the house not being 100% a home just yet, and the fact that it’s winter now, and last lockdown we spent each day in the garden reading and BBQing in the sunshine. Partner in particular is getting bored and restless, but we’re managing as best we can.

Woke up today with a streaming nose, stand can’t stop sneezing - no other symptoms. Had a couple of bouts of the same every other month or so all last year. Had thought it could be environmental, but we’ve since moved house, so I’m a bit stumped. Keeping well clear of partner today, as he has a big check up appointment at the CF clinic tomorrow, which we’re hoping will have news of him starting on Kaftrio soon!

Off to make dinner (partner has requested curry again, very happy to oblige since it’s quick, cheap, and easy, and he’ll happily live off it for 3 meals a day!), and then soak in the bath in the hope of draining my head of all this snot (sorry!)!