Fiwen takes flight(?)

fiwen30

Been pouring over my new cookbooks, after going through them both on my Kindle before realising I hadn’t been bookmarking any pages! Made a mushroom/tomato...thing with rice for yesterday’s dinner, got a spicy rice & 2 bean soup with crusty bread in mind for later, which should do an extra portion or 2 for partner’s next couple of work days.

Partner’s granddad very kindly gave us the proceeds from the sale of his car, since he’s just given up driving, to the tune of £500! That’s kickstarted the savings pot attached to our joint M’nzo account, and we’re on track to deposit another £200 or so on Friday, from cash leftover from this period’s budget. This savings pot will be our ‘Household’ fund for bits and bobs for our new home!

I’ve another interview on Thursday, and several more jobs lined up to apply for - a mix of full time & part time - so will see how that goes. I spoke to partner about the self guilt and pressure to be working and earning more, and how I’ve been feeling like I’ve not been pulling my weight. Ever since mum’s death and my financial ‘come to Jesus’ moment, I’ve been wanting to work and save as much as possible. At the moment, with me working part time, we’re having to scrimp and scrape, and knowing how much of a difference it would make if I was also full time makes me squirm with anxiety. But partner set me straight, bless him, and made it clear that there’s no pressure coming from his end, and that we’ll continue to do just fine for as long as it takes. With this scrimping, we managed to budget to set aside £350 into savings, plus monthly leftovers, which is just fine for now.

While it was a joint decision, combining our finances has been a bit of a culture shock for my partner, who for the last 18 months of co-habiting has been used to splitting household, pet food, and grocery bills 50/50. He would sometimes save £200 each month (or often not, as it often went to paying off some big purchase on his CC), and then would have £500+ ‘fun money’ left over to blow on whatever he wanted. At the time, I was paying for my 50% of the bills plus my own expenses from my savings. But when we agreed to take our dream of homeownership seriously, and committed to it together, then the priority became protecting our deposit, which was predominantly my savings. To do this, we’ve given up our 50/50 split, and pooled our incomes instead to cover both shared and individual bills and expenses, and to jointly save our leftovers for a common goal.

I’ve found it interesting how combining finances has impacted both my own mindset, and also household dynamics. I’ll preface by saying that partner is the only person I’ve ever asked to live with me, and he moved into the house I’d lived in for 2 years prior. Previously, I’ve always been of the opinion that if I’m inviting someone to come and live in my space, then all parties should contribute equally to household chores and upkeep of the living environment; and that they should do so without prompting, chiding, or expecting gold stars and hand claps for putting their dirty socks in the wash basket as opposed to beside the wash basket. Very much a ‘roommate’ approach, with equal respect for the shared space. Partner and I trundled along mostly harmoniously in this fashion for said 18 months.

But now that our monies have been getting pooled, and we’re knee-deep in the house buying process, I’ve been amused and a little alarmed at how my stubborn domestic mindset has been shifting. I don’t mind so much that I do the lion’s share of the dishes (though a dishwasher will be our first purchase as soon a we get the keys to the new house - hate dishes), or that I’m the only one who ever does laundry (wash, dry, and put away), and that while we still split cleaning the kitchen/bathroom I don’t mind doing the quick daily clean and tidy ups.

It feels like a fair trade to be doing 75% of the at-home work, if he’s doing 75% of the out-of-home work. Which may be an obvious concept to some, but it sure isn’t a dynamic I’ve ever been willing to tolerate in previous relationships. Maybe it really is love? 

fiwen30

Did the spicy rice and 2 bean soup for last nights dinner, which went down well. I had told partner that the quantities were meant for 2 portions, but he was insistent that there was only enough for 1. Served it up with a couple of generous slices of wheaten bread (store bought, not homemade!), and after he finished that last bite and I was writing it up in my new recipe file, I asked to confirm that it definitely was 1 portion-size - he admitted that with bread it was definitely 2 portions, and he had forced himself to finish it to keep face hahaha. Will be a good one for a dinner/lunch combo in the future.

Most of Jack Monroe’s recipes are vegetarian or vegan, purely because they’re cookbooks for people on a tight budget, and meat and poultry are expensive. Partner gave me the side-eye and asked if I was trying to convert him to vegetarianism. Not the case - I know his health suffers on a no-meat diet - but I’m hoping that by changing up the types of meat we buy, and putting that meat to better use, that we can make it go further and save some ££. He’s working a late shift tonight, and didn’t fancy anything too heavy when he comes in, so I’ve popped a jacket potato in the oven which will do nicely with leftover baked beans from yesterday and a handful of cheese.

I’m actually quite excited to do a food inventory tomorrow and plan what to make this week, and what to put on the list for next week’s shopping. I usually find food incredibly dull - if I could have some of that Willy Wonka gum that’s a meal in tablet form, then I would! So it’s been interesting actually get a bit excited and inspired by food for the first time.

fiwen30

Exciting news! I got offered a new job!

It’s in childcare, which is an entirely different industry to my qualifications or experience, but something I’d found myself taking an unexpected interest in recently. The company are very supportive of the fact that it’ll be a big change for me, and they’re wanting to give me in-house training, and time to find my feet and decide if it’s right for me, before shelling out to do my qualifications.

I went back and forth over it for hours, but eventually decided that if I don’t try, then I won’t know. As much as I love my current job, the reality is that it can’t provide me enough hours for us to thrive financially - and I always knew that. This new position will give me full time hours, a change of scenery, and new challenges. If it turns out not to be for me, then I can always phase back into retail, whereas if I love it, then there’s room for progression, or sidesteps into other education/childcare settings.

It’s a bit daunting, but I’m excited. The fact that we’ll be £500ish better off each month goes a long way also.

Today I’m going to do an inventory of everything we’ve got in the cupboards, fridge, and freezer, and then see what we need to order for next weeks meals. Going to try and make a real effort to cut down our grocery spending this period.

the_end_of_the_rainbow

Congratulations on your new job - fantastic news

fiwen30

the_end_of_the_rainbow said:

Congratulations on your new job - fantastic news

Thank you! I know how lucky I am to have 2 jobs available to me right now, and am feeling very thankful!

The food inventory went better than I expected. Managed to flesh out my very first weekly meal plan too, mostly from what we already have in our food cupboards, and just a few additions to order in on Monday. I’m also thankful that partner doesn’t mind leftovers, so I can cook a bit larger, and he’ll have some proper meals to take to work with him and hopefully save a bit of ££. Don’t think I’ve ever planned to cook a whole weeks worth of meals before, so it’ll be a bit of a learning curve I’m sure.

fiwen30

Our 4-weekly budget period resets on a Friday, and I try and order our weekly shopping for each Monday.

After doing the kitchen inventory and putting together the meal plan for this week; today’s weekly shopping came to £71. Given that we were averaging £90-£100 each week during the last budget period, I’m quite pleased!

This weeks meal plan for my partner, for future reference:
Monday - Lunch: at work. Dinner: Shepard’s pie
Tuesday - Lunch: chicken & ham baguette. Dinner: spicy rice & 2 bean soup, with bread
Wednesday - Lunch: leftover Shepard’s pie. Dinner: cheese & bacon pasta bake
Thursday - Lunch: leftover spicy rice & 2 bean soup. Dinner: baked potato with tuna & sweetcorn

Friday - Lunch: leftover pasta bake. Dinner: Chinese chicken curry
Saturday - Lunch: leftover Chinese chicken curry. Dinner: ‘self-love stew’
Sunday - Lunch: chicken & ham baguette. Dinner: tuna, sweetcorn & mushroom pasta

fiwen30

Meal plan is going along swimmingly this week, have even managed to put a couple of leftover portions into the freezer to supplement next weeks meals. Invested in a few more appropriately-sized leftover containers, as we currently only have 2! Also invested in a new medium-sized saucepan, as the coating had started to flake on our old one. Decided to go for a step or 2 above our previous Dirt Cheap saucepan, in the hopes that it might actually stand the test of time - think it’s predecessor was only about 2 years old. Picked up a new 10.5 tog duvet too, as we discovered we’d somehow ended up with 2 4.5 togs, and 1 whopping 15 tog. We did have a middleweight duvet last year, but thinking back it may have had an accident with one of the cats, and ended up in the bin...

So there’s been some pretty hefty spends from our £100 Household Misc. budget in this first week, but hopefully there shouldn’t be much else needed for the house this period.

I start my new job in a couple of weeks, and have had to outlay quite a bit already. I’m thankful that I received some grant money from my university back in March, which had sat untouched. I had originally earmarked it for another purpose, but have decided to put it towards these costs instead. It will also cover the cost of my qualifications, if I decided that the job is right for me.

I’ve ordered 2 tunics in the nursery colours, a few pairs of stretchy, comfy black trousers, a black cardigan, and a new black waterproof winter coat. The tunics were obviously mandatory, the trousers needed to be more comfortable and easy to wear than my current 2nd hand work trousers, the cardigan I picked up from a charity shop for £4, and the coat I bought new because after a year of working on a livery heard, I no longer skimp on waterproofs! I haven’t been out clothes shopping with intent since my birthday last December, due to frugality and also C-19. With fitting rooms understandably being closed, there’s been a lot of back and forth with sizes and styles to find items that fit well, likewise with orders and returns.

I’d also forgotten how nice it can feel to spend money, and how easily you can almost talk yourself into buying things you don’t need. It’s a weird, compulsive, insidious thing, and not a feeling I enjoy. Even just going to Tesco to return some trousers, and buy some leftovers containers, I was catching myself considering cookware, new tea towels, new crockery - all while knowing perfectly well that we weren’t in need of any of it, and that we have perfectly good versions, or substitute items, at home. Consumerism is very powerful.

Mindless spending can feel good in the moment, and I’ve noticed that the more frequently I spend money, the more I want to buy - even if the spends are for necessary things, like my new uniform, and the want-to-buys are unnecessary things, like new plates. Last budget period, I spent £10 over 2 transactions from my Personal Spending allowance of £100. Of course there were things I would’ve liked to have bought, but I felt very keenly aware of only wanting them, not needing them and the thought of my Why was stronger than the urge to spend.

Now that that spending urge is starting to nip at my heels again, I’ll be reminding myself of my Why -
To have less Stuff to go through and declutter before the move - fewer trips to the charity shops & to the dump, less of an overwhelming job to go through it all, less time taken to go through it all.
To have less Stuff for the movers to pack up, and for us to unpack into the new house.
To have less Stuff to try and fit into the new house.
To better utilise the storage in our new house, rather than filling it with unused junk.
To only own things we use, or that we love - to cultivate a home that’s reflective of us.
To create an environment that’s simple to take care of, to clean, and to tidy.
To save money in order to make the new house look the way we want it to.
To save money towards experiences and memories, rather than Stuff.
To save money towards having a financial cushion, in case of emergencies.

All of these make up my Why, and that Why is a more motivating, encouraging, inspiring thing, which I know can overcome the base compulsion to waste money on rubbish that I don’t need, when I remember to focus fully on it.

fiwen30

Well, today’s lunch was a bit of a flop - it was bound to happen at some point! The recipe called itself ‘stew’, and so my partner got excited thinking it’d be a resemblance of an Irish stew. Unfortunately, with carrots, onion, potatoes, tuna, chopped tomatoes, and beans, it was anything but! He proclaimed it ‘a bit too weird’, after gallantly choking down a bowl, and admitted he probably wouldn’t eat the other 3 portions left in the pot, if I boxed them up. No matter - 5/6 meals being tasty so far this week is pretty good going, for saying I’ve never cooked before, and I’m not able to try anything that I’m cooking due to our dietary differences!  O such thing as failure - only outcomes, some of which aren’t always what we would’ve like or expected, but all of which are an opportunity to learn.

This week seems to have gone so slowly. Can’t believe we’re only 7 days into our budgeting period - already fretting to get my own pay cheque in a couple of weeks time, so we can pay into our savings pots!

We’ve currently got a couple of savings pots going, some open ended, some close ended, that we either budget to pay into from our joint incomes, or it receives the remainder of our incomes at the end of each budget period.

J&J’s Wedding - Close-ended for July 2021, this is built into our budget period. This is an old school friend of mine, and they’re marrying in Wales. COVID-depending, it may just be myself that travels, or it may be neither of us. We’re aiming to save £500 by then, which would cover 1 person’s travel + accommodation. If it turns out it’s not safe to travel, then this will go into another pot - likely Housing. Currently: £184.00/£500.00

Vet Fund - Open-ended, but with a goal of £750 in mind by December 2021. There is a set amount built into our budget period for this fund. This is cash set aside for regular/emergency vet visits for our pets, to act as a cushion if we ever need to pull out the credit card to afford large procedures. Currently: £110.00/£750.00

Emergency Fund - Close-ended. We’re aiming to save 3 months worth of expenses, in case of emergencies. This is a small set amount, compared to the overall target, built into our budget period. Currently: £1900.00/£4800.00

Housing - Open-ended. This is the savings pot attached to our joint account, and isn’t budgeted for. Instead, it’s topped up with the leftovers from our Household Misc. and Personal Spending budget categories, along with any other spare monies we receive that period eg. from selling on eBay, windfalls, gifts, etc. There’s no particular target in mind, but this money will be used to furnish, repair, and decorate our new house. Once we are moved in, this Housing pot will likely be broken down into smaller, separate goals, depending on priority eg. flooring, paint/wallpapering, dishwasher, garden etc. Currently: £640.00/???

I’d had pots for birthdays/Christmas also, but we’ve decided to scale right back this year with preference to our money getting saved towards the house, and just do token gifts instead. However, with my new job starting in a couple of weeks, and being a bit better off(!), I’ve been thinking about other things I’d like to start saving small amounts towards, and how they might fall in order of priority in relation to each other and in relation to our current pots -
A trip to Glasgow to see my best friend. Usually an annual/twice annual occasion August/December, but unfortunately out on hold. I haven’t seen her since January, and would like to visit either August 2021, or January 2022. Cost would be about £300, to cover flights, meals for the weekend, and some spending/excursion money.

Manchester Tattoo Convention. I’d been booked in to get work done by an artist in March, and again in July, but both were cancelled. I’d had my booking rescheduled for March 2021, but I honestly don’t know if I’ll be comfortable travelling, or be able to save enough by then. If I can’t, then I might postpone the work till later in 2021, and have to travel to the artists studio in a different, more difficult to get to, city. Cost would be about £1000.00 to be conservative. This would include a £500 tattooing cost, £200 for flights, £200 for accommodation, and £100 for additional travel expense and food. Admittedly, this would be a huge outlay for something only benefiting myself, and so it might well be into 2022 before it comes to fruition. Before mum’s death, I had been used to ignorantly spending this sort of time and money travelling to get tattoos, often multiple times a year. It’s difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that it can’t happen like that anymore, but I want this particular work to be a tribute to her.

A LARP weekend in England. A similar frivolity to my penchant for tattoos. I had been planning on attending my 2nd LARP event in April (sort of an outdoor festival, where everyone dresses up and roleplays as characters). I got my costs refunded, thankfully, but again it was the sort of thing that I never had to think about budgeting for. I would like to attend the event either in July 2021, or September 2021. Cost would be about £450, to cover £200 flights, £100 tent hire, £50 additional travel, and £100 meals and additional spending.

A trip home, to my hometown in England, preferably with my partner, to scatter mum’s ashes and see some old friends. Cost would probably be around £600 for 2 x flights, accommodation, travel and food, for a weekend.

Some of these additional savings goals are more important than others, I know that, but it helps to curb my impulse to spend by thinking about future goals. Hopefully with this extra income, some of these made be met sooner rather than later, but until then it’s a case of adjusting each budgeting period as it comes.

fiwen30

My pay day today! Last proper pay day from my current job - handed in my notice a couple of days ago, felt so guilty about letting down my manager and my wonderful team, right in the middle of our Xmas launch, but she was so supportive, and absolutely thrilled for me, which made it much easier to bear. Balanced out the remaining 2 weeks of our 4-week budgeting period, and it was gut-wrenching to see that we’ll be tight this month.

That is to say, ‘tight’ in that our budgeted expenses and budgeted savings are accounted for, but there won’t be leftovers for any additional savings unless we don’t spend 100% of our budgeted amounts for groceries, household misc., or personal spending this period; in which case the excess will go towards additional savings. Given that we were able to save an additional £200 last period by being very tight with our spending, this is a little demoralising.

Trying to remind myself that the spending this month has mostly been necessities - partner needed new work shoes, I needed to restock some hair & beauty products, we needed more food containers to store leftovers in, and I also got some small Xmas pressies for some people. Partner has done very well at not spending his usual amounts on buying food at work, and taking leftovers instead. He’s getting proper meals, as well as saving us ££.

Just rounding off week 2 of planned meals for my partner, which has gone pretty well, bar the stew-based hiccup mentioned previously. We did cave and order takeaway for the first time in ages, but it turned out to be really disappointing! Soggy, unappetising, and stodgy. Not going to do that again in a hurry, I don’t think.

Some of this week’s meals have included a ham & mushroom pasta bake, chicken curry, spaghetti bolognese, and the spicy rice & 2 bean ‘soup’, which has been going down well in tortillas with a bit of sour cream, as a stand-in for takeaway burritos! Doing a quick chilli con crane (mostly from a jar of sauce, but tarted up a little), to use the rest of the mince, and then chicken pie and bbq beef planned for over the weekend.

I start my new job on Wednesday. It’ll be the first time ever in my working life where I’ll have weekends off! Very excited about this, and looking forward to knowing that partner and I will definitely have days off to spend together. Still a bit apprehensive about an entirely new environment and job role, but looking forward to it. Especially looking forward to the extra income it’ll give us each month, can’t wait to be able to work towards our goals a little bit faster!

Someone made a post in one of the budgeting groups that I follow about cheap/free ways we used to entertain ourselves as children, without relying on money, devices, or services to occupy us, and it was lovely so I’ll copy it here for posterity.

“Watched free network TV, played card and board games, played outside, rode my bike, jumped rope, played tennis, borrowed books from the library (now they have movies, exercise videos and music too!),  

did craft projects with crayons, paper bags, glitter, made candles, danced, ran, swam for free at the lake and town pool, spent time with my pets, learned about butterflies, made popcorn and watched TV movies as a family, made forts out of blankets, went sledding and ice skating, went to the beach and body surfed, jumped the waves, hunted for shells and starfish, and made sand castles, went camping (learned to pitch a tent, dig a latrine, make a bunson burner from a tuna can to cook on, build a fire for heat and to wash dishes), played in the woods, played on the school playground equipment, went to free town parades and concerts, played hide and seek, tag, dodgeball and hula hoop.  Played with my dolls, did chores around the house, babysat, took drives with my family to see the foliage or Christmas lights or the mountains.  Played at my friends houses, did sleepovers/pajama parties, drew pictures, sang songs, listened to the radio, played horseshoes, badminton and croquet, learned new things (how to change oil in a car), grocery shopped with my mum, learned to cook, sat outside in the sun, shoveled the driveway, went roller skating in the street, learned a new language, went to the local farm to visit the animals, joined the Brownies and Girl Scouts, learned how to twirl the baton, mowed the lawn, grew tomatoes, picked blueberries, picked strawberries for ££, had picnics, learned about plants and animals, played basketball at the town outdoor free hoop, did jumping jacks and summersaults, washed the car, went to church, went to bible school, did exercises on TV with my mum, took walks downtown, learned to play bridge, carved pumpkins, sold Girl Scout cookies Door to Door and raised £ for UNICEF, went to free church fairs, joined library reading clubs, joined Rainbow, sang songs, learned to drive a car, mowed the lawn, raked leaves, learned to crochet, learned to make my own clothes, learned to make toys, played hide and seek, baked cookies for bake sales, visited nursing homes, went caroling, visited my relatives, had cook-outs and roasted marshmallows, learned the constellations.....

I’m sure there are many, many more things I’m forgetting, but it all brings back GREAT memories.  Much more than any paid things or spending £ we didn’t have on “stuff”.”

I loved this post so much, because it’s so true. It reminded me of my own childhood, when we were dirt-poor, but us kids had no idea. We’d frequently get packed into the car and ‘go for a drive’ as a form of entertainment, or amuse ourselves for days with a tree, a bit of old rope, and a log. My most memorable presents were hand me down toys from my cousin that I loved dearly for years, and my most memorable Christmas was the one when (in hindsight) we were the poorest, and couldn’t afford decorations, and so we kids spent hours making paper chains and cut out snowflakes and stars to decorate the tree. There were just so many things to do, that didn’t involve screens, or being told or instructed to do those things by screens. It was something I’d almost forgotten about, until I read that post, and was reminded about how easy and simple it used to be.

fiwen30

Ugh, been an everything-all-at-once week, this week!

I’ve now got £0 Personal Spending left, with 2 weeks of this budget period to go 😣 It just so happened that so many of my toiletries/beauty bits ran out at the same time, and all needed replacing! £36 spent on hair dye, bb cream, powder, bio oil, micellar water, and cotton pads. Plus £42.50 towards my dance class, £7 towards Xmas pressies, a novel on my kindle, and a new ring binder to hold my budgeting sheets (ironically). It’s a far cry from the £18 of Personal Spending I used last period, but it can’t be helped - all that £36 was necessary, unfortunately, but all should last a fair few months again.

Chicken, ham & mushroom pie tonight, which went down well - one to add to the recipe file.

2nd-to-last shift at work tomorrow, with a couple of my favourite colleagues, and then a short shift on Monday to finish up, with my least favourite colleague. Can’t all be roses.