Paying conspicuous rent to partner

Fabiolondra

Hello
I'm paying a conspicuous rent to my partner in a nice 2-bed flat.
It's a nicer than average flat in a location in the south coast of England, with house prices a third of Brighton.
The rent and bills together come to £650 a month (rent 400).
The bills include 50 for the service charges which go also towards a fund for buildings repairs. In this area, if I rented a room in a 2-bed flat I would be little more 400 including bills.
So I believe the price is a bit high considering we are partners and we share pretty much everything in expenses. I'm not the car owner but all costs about the car are shared too (I could live without a car, as I've always done before no problems, and not depending on anyone for it).
I felt since the beginning the price was a bit too high, and it was not what I proposed before moving from my 2beds rented flat for which I was paying about £870/month on my own, everything included. Initially what I had proposed was that what I was saving and what he would earn from me moving in, should have been pretty much equal, but it didn't turn out that way...he's about 600/month better off, I'm 200/month better off. And I have also had to let go the furniture I had, but the sofa...and those had costed me 1.2k less than 2 years earlier.
He doesn't earn much, but he made money before so he's owning his own nice place.
I accepted as it was a test for living together and didn't want him to feel like I just moved in for my own financial return. But I now feel I'm the one that was asked to move in to make ends meet, which with me is fine to a point. Also he wanted to renew the kitchen in the flat, as he had just bought it after having moved from London a year ago. But he wouldn't have been able to without the income from the kitchen without using his savings. Almost a year on, he said he still doesn't have the money for renewing the kitchen (budget needed is about 5000) I had been clear I have not intention to pay rent forever as I'm in the position I can buy a place on my own with a mortgage if I wanted to and I don't need a grand place, just a decent 1-2 bedroom. We've been thinking about moving together, but there's the need for more thinking going into it, and he's difficult to please in terms of homes, as for choices I'm definitely more accommodating.
I am thinking to give him the only choice to now take 200 a month after a year of paid rent, as a contribution to the renovation the house will need, but that's about it.
What does people think?
Many thanks

quotememiserable

I'm not sure what you mean by conspicuous rent, but it sounds like you want to own your own place, unless you really want to live with the person. You don't offer us much insight into that.

greatcrested

I too have no idea what 'conspicuous' means.

( though perhaps it means you've made it clear to HMRC that he is receiving income from you on which he must pay tax?)

But this is really an issue for the relationships area of the forum. Whether you should be living together, and on what basis, is a relationship matter betwee you and him- not really property related at all.

patnut

I don't know what "conspicuous rent "means but how much is the going rent for a similar property in the area? Divide this by 2 and it will give you a rough idea of what you should be paying however as it's your partner I would think you should pay slightly less than that figure for example. I had a two bed flat in London worth around 1500 pcm and my partner paid me £450 inc all bills at the time however I was the main bread winner not by much though.

Fabiolondra

Hello,
I mean conspicuous as in noticeable...so, quite a sum, more than I consider fair. I moved in more because of his pressure and I knew he was struggling to live within his own means now having that place with the charges and bills he had. He does work part-time and as he had a stroke years ago he doesn't want the pressure he was on before, which was a lot.
Don't get me wrong, I love him, but equally I'm trying to understand what people experiences are and what would you consider fair...also taking into account I could live on my own and pay towards a mortgage rather. However, if I move out on my own it wouldn't be a good move relationship-wise.
I get your point about a relationship section, but I don't think there is a way to change this post now.
Many thanks

Caz3121

Fabiolondra said:

quite a sum, more than I consider fair.

have you told him how you feel? if you were not there could he take in a lodger or would he need to sell up?

CheesyWiggles

There really aren’t hard and fast rules on what constitutes fair. If he wasn’t intending on letting the room to someone else if you were not living with him, then apart from an increase in bills, he isn’t missing out on any income - so his viewing it as a commercial transaction is an interesting one. That being said, it would be unreasonable to expect him to give you a roof over your head for free. I think your instincts of splitting the difference in terms of savings is an interesting one. If you were both 400 better off per month, that sounds reasonable to me. But I’m just a stranger on the internet, and really you should just figure this out with your partner.

saajan_12

It's really up to the two of you re what you find fair.. Some people will say  you don't charge a partner "rent" so either you share your money or someone lives for free. I personally don't see it like that, I think everyone should contribute the fair cost of their living, which can be totally separate to a relationship. That "fair cost" could be
a) half of interest + bills, so you don't pay any capital off his mortgage; or

b) half of rent on the entire place + bills (as a lodger would pay). No contribution to renovation or maintenance etc. 

Option a) gives you a very cheap rent, and the partner doesn't get a return on his equity portion, which he may have got from a lodger if you weren't there. Option b) could mean the partner profits off you, while you pay full whack in rent. So personally I'd work out both and go for a figure between the two. 

However that's with a view to being equitable - if someone doesn't like it, they can generally leave. When there's a relationship, there are other priorities like compromising on where / what kind of property, what each person can afford, and what you're comfortable with. 

cattie

£200 per month is only £50 per week & where would you get a house share with access to all areas for that? You admit that you were paying £870 month when you lived alone, so it sounds perfectly reasonable to me that you now contribute at least half of what you did when living alone. That would still make you better off than you are now far better than offering just £50 per week.

Takmon

Fabiolondra said:

Hello,
I mean conspicuous as in noticeable...so, quite a sum, more than I consider fair. I moved in more because of his pressure and I knew he was struggling to live within his own means now having that place with the charges and bills he had. He does work part-time and as he had a stroke years ago he doesn't want the pressure he was on before, which was a lot.
Don't get me wrong, I love him, but equally I'm trying to understand what people experiences are and what would you consider fair...also taking into account I could live on my own and pay towards a mortgage rather. However, if I move out on my own it wouldn't be a good move relationship-wise.
I get your point about a relationship section, but I don't think there is a way to change this post now.
Many thanks

Every situation is different and what's "fair" will depend on the circumstances and also what exactly you agreed before you moved in. 
Before my partner moved in with me we discussed exactly what my bills were and what i expected her to contribute towards them. As i obviously wanted her to move in with me and i wasn't doing it to make a profit i said it's fair for her to pay half of the basic bills and paying anything for "rent" or towards the mortgage wouldn't be fair at all. This was calculated to be a figure of £150 a month taking into account the increase in bills by her being there. 

But this is something you really should have gone through together before you moved in. 

getmore4less

Raise the issue of beneficial interest as you are contributing to more than running costs of the place.
Service charges are a cost of ownership not occupation. 
The easy way to work out what is occupation and what is ownership is to pretend you were renting the place. 
Anything a landlord would be responsible for is ownership. 

Anything a tenant would be responsible for is occupation costs. 
.