GAMBLING DEBT!

ryanm8655

ry3 said:

IrishSean said:

randall6z said:

Gambling totally destroys lives. And you'll never win. A compulsive gambler never does in the long run. I think it was not so bad in the old days when it was old men gambling a few quid on the horses in a smoky bookmakers in the town; but now it's everywhere. I go to watch Leicester with my son (or did, at least pre pandemic!) and the amount of advertising in football is scandalous - it totally "normalises" gambling. He was only 10 and he was asking about putting a bet on! 

That's actually a valid point.

Before ads were shifted to post watershed my kids knew the straplines and theme tunes to every gambling ad.
My 8yo sometimes watches movies on freeview & asks about the casino ads; I just have to tell him the only way to win is never to play. It's pernicious though; my friends & father in law do the horses & I can see how the owners & trainers are working hand in glove with the bookies to screw punters (so many crazy results & outsiders winning). It's all about bookies making their profit margins back post lockdown. 

Absolutely bang on, there is only 100% one winner and that's every single bookmaker/online casino, any form of gambling company they have a high turnover of profits living lavish life styles while people like me suffer. I started on this journey from seeing my father a heavy gambler  that's kind of all I saw of him and drinking in the pub not much of a role model hey? So like the old saying goes "like father like son" I despise the man for many things I won't write an essay on this mind! I have to find my own way of saying I'm free of this problem to be fair you know I don't sit with an urge to gamble it's only when I put myself into a silly state like I've betted a little more than I should have from the FUN aspect I panic and try get it back I never sit thinking I could do with a bet right now weeks and months go by without feeling need I only do it now and then as a FUN thing as I do have some general liking to horses especially the big meetings but obviously keeping it controlled and FUN but this isn't always the case that's why I'm here in this position so here's the UPDATE on me!!!!!

Firstly apologies for the rubbish spelling and grammar not my strong point.
My problem hasn't gone away or evened out it seems to be one thing after another it stems really from life at the minute so the wife says shall we go away I'm thinking not really in a position but she's down and fed up and we are due to have my nephew for a week shortly and here comes good old gambling me right if I just get a few good winners we will be fine to get away and the fact I'm not all square in my account is playing on my mind so I've just been paid and currently down to my last £200 not able to draw any more out otherwise that probably would have gone too!!! I've now some how managed to be accepted on a credit card so what does one do now? This is my current state of affairs 

£500 overdrawn this was £700 but in an agreement with the bank it will reduce at £200 a month until this has been cleared!
So as of the start of this month I should be sitting currently at +£650 this is how I should look prior to this stupid gambling!!!!!!
Now as I stated I have a Marbles Credit Card on the way balance of £1200 at a wopping 29.7%APR not the best but acceptance was high.

Now how does one rectify this mess? The first thing that needs to happen is entering a bookies as what's to stop me entering with the credit card? Well walking in and tell them directly to ban me from using this shop but then a bit further down there's another bookie and over the street there's another there everywhere!!!!! I've blocked all online access and my card can't be used in gambling but obviously you can take cash from the ATM and pay naturally.

To those that have had serious gambling problems with high spending how did you overcome this? Taking your mind of gambling like has already been suggested is KEY having a pass time/hobby well one of my favorite sports is back snooker in fact learning to play this was up there on my to do list I can play to a certain degree.

So my feelings at the moment are this £1200 limit on credit card can go into my current account to level this out cancel down completely of the over draft leaving me +£700? then work out the best plan in order to clear this my outgoings aren't very high £400 ish from a take home of £1050 although I can't be seen to have large amounts disappear  so a sensible amount each month to clear the credit card will be required £100 ish I reckon more if possible.

God damn you bookies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next phase is not to spiral, when I was posting earlier on I was in a better position and had a plan in place that didn't quite work out as planned as I mentioned through panic and worry of getting away I gambled again!! you see the wife thinks everything is okay and I should be +£ in the bank but I'm not.

I'm kind of ranting now, so sorry for this I think some people are just destined for failure and bad luck, my brother and sister are both flying in life and there's good old me the bad egg of the family!!!

Have a great day everyone thanks for reading about my troubles.
 

Sorry to hear of your struggles.

First thing you need to do is cut that card up and shut it down before you get started.

Then I'd seek expert help for the gambling. Register with gamcare and get yourself blocked from all bookies, and join gamblers anonymous as suggested. Gambling isn't an issue I have ever struggled with so unfortunately can't advise you any further.

ry3

mr_stripey said:

@ry3 - well done for posting mate. I know it must seem like everything is against you at the moment. You're in the eye of the storm and it is hard to think straight. You're reverting back to the temptation of gambling but deep down you know this isn't the answer.
I wouldn't worry about what your account "should look like". If you're reducing your overdraft in chunks month on month then that is great progress.

Have you thought about contacting Gamblers Anonymous? My mate absolutely swears by it - saved his life he says.

Having hidden debt is a massive stress. I know from personal experience. Mine wasn't gambling related but I was piling up debts
because we weren't budgeting properly. My debts got bigger and bigger and then when the missus would suggest going somewhere or doing something I had to use the credit card to avoid the whole "we don't have any money" conversation.
It did come to a crunch and I had to tell her. It was very difficult, but we did get through it and now our situation is a million times better. It may be the time to tell her - only you will really know when you have to do it.

I was in a situation where I had tens of thousands of hidden debt. It was crushing me. On the face of it we had a nice life, I had support from friends and family but I couldn't tell anyone. If we had friends round, my wife would talk about our plans for a new kitchen and on the inside I was secretly dying knowing we couldn't afford it. In the end it was a random poster on a forum (not this one, but a football forum) who I reached out to for help and support. It was a relief to unload on someone who didn't know me!

My advice would be to open up and tell her if you can. It will be much easier to quit and stay quit from Gambling with her support. I appreciate it isn't any easy option though. 


Don't be too hard on yourself mate. Life isn't easy is it? Take care bud, and PM me if you need to vent or rant. I probably don't have the correct answers but I will listen!

Thanks for the reply buddy, I know just what you mean about how you feel inside when you have friends round and the wife's talking about a new kitchen etc... Currently in this kind of phase we are looking at booking a hotel at the coast when my nephew comes to stay I should be easily able to book this and she knows it but inside I've failed as I should be able to do this feels awful doesn't it? It's also the added pressure of this lockdown and job security as she worries about this also so me sitting down and telling her what I've done will make things a 100& worse although offloading this would help massively if I can keep away from a bookies there is light at the end of the tunnel easily said than done right? And yes speaking with Gamblers Anonymous is something that needs to be done but how can I escape the wife and during the pandemic only online chats will be available? I know what needs to be done its enforcing it firstly I think I need to stop worrying so much and thinking I need to win money to fix this problem when all I need to do is take small steps to get out of this hole.

The world does feel like it's against you but then again you are in charge of your own destiny right? You have your own self to blame for things that happen you can't point the finger and blame anyone else.

I think where I could help most is helping those having similar problems beat their demons for good! If I can beat it myself so actually talking about gambling at it''s problems should keep temptation at bay.

As I said telling the wife at this moment in time isn't the answer she's down with this whole pandemic and work is very stressful me adding to this won't help and on grand scheme of things from what I've heard on here my small debt problem is minuscule in comparison to others.

You could look at it as though I've got a £1200 credit card that needs to be re-payed at the soonest then this is me all square? Well to where I should be.

Perhaps speaking daily about this will help if I get the urge to bet then go to that area where I can speak freely and walk away and think I didn't bet today and feel good about that.

Anyways thanks for taking time out to respond and offer your kind advice on the whole matter means a lot this goes out to everyone who has responded.

ryanm8655

The credit card is consolidation, basically. The interest rate isn’t much better than your overdraft charges, especially as most of your overdraft should be interest free at the moment. That and you’d actually be increasing the debt to £1200.

Consolidation rarely works and I’d especially advise against it in your case.

I talk from experience. I came here suggesting consolidation several years ago, ignored the naysayers and was back with double the debt a couple of years later.

ry3

ryanm8655 said:

The credit card is consolidation, basically. The interest rate isn’t much better than your overdraft charges, especially as most of your overdraft should be interest free at the moment. That and you’d actually be increasing the debt to £1200.

Consolidation rarely works and I’d especially advise against it in your case.

I talk from experience. I came here suggesting consolidation several years ago, ignored the naysayers and was back with double the debt a couple of years later.

I owe the bank £500 currently from an original £700 so that's naturally come down it will decrease again at the end of the month by another £200 and so on.

I'm now £500 down out of this months wage hence the need to get the credit card I wouldn't be ble to make it through without it so I'm not consolidating as such I could only use £500 of the £1200 to put me square for this month and let the overdraft naturally come down as agreed with the bank then I only have to clear the £500 on the card reducing the fees? 

TheAble

Just reading back to page 1. You have a take home of £1200 - or is it £2200 with furlough? Outgoings of £370 plus a few odds and ends. So theoretically you should have a surplus even if you do repay £200 each month on your overdraft. It's not clear therefore why you're relying on a credit card to see you through the month?

ry3

TheAble said:

Just reading back to page 1. You have a take home of £1200 - or is it £2200 with furlough? Outgoings of £370 plus a few odds and ends. So theoretically you should have a surplus even if you do repay £200 each month on your overdraft. It's not clear therefore why you're relying on a credit card to see you through the month?

£1200 take home (Non-Furlough)
£1050 (Furlough)
£400 outgoings 
but I also buy shopping or take us out etc... but this varies.
I've spent majority of this months wage minus the £400 bills and the £500 spent gambling!!!

This card is needed as we are due to go away with the nephew.

My own stupid fault!!!!!!!!

TheAble

Ok well you've got potentially a healthy surplus then. How big's your debt in total, overdraft and card - £1200 or so? You could clear that in a single month with a little application.

ryanm8655

I don’t think he has got a healthy surplus, just hadn’t accurately accounted for spends.

£1050 is not a lot of money to live on and if you need a credit card to survive this month then you’re clearly spending beyond your means. You really need to work out all your spends based on bank statements.

You need to resolve the gambling issue first and foremost though, you’ll get nowhere without confronting and resolving that.

ry3

Typical month prior to starting to gamble looked like this!
Take home PAY each month was in the regions of £1200
I only pay 3 bills out of my wage...
£280 car loan.
£80 car insurance.
£20 sky.
Leaving £820 for the month out of this I would also spend......
£140 fuel this is work and hobby related costs as I travel for football and to see family these aren't on the doorstep.
£300 Food shop this varies of course there are only 2 of us.
Of course like mot there are odds and ends like haircuts and food for work this also varies.
Then the rest that's left over goes towards going out for food and drinks or out for the day or towards any clothing/shopping.

Now in Furlough it's £1050 not £1200 even still I should be fine and good to go the problem is spending money in the bookies if I'd walked away only spending £20 in the bookie this isn't the end of the world this is affordable spending and for FUN purposes but my spending in this area is nowhere near this it's currently £1000 that's the problem so I needed to find ways of rectifying this how can I make it to the end of the month having spent £500 more than I should have? Hence the reason for getting the credit card.

Providing I don't enter a bookies as it stands I have a debt of £500 in an overdraft but the credit card is due and to take me to the end of the month this will have £500 applied so a total debt of £1000 not a mass amount in terms of today's debt you could say now the £500 overdraft isn't charged there are no fees I've agreed with the bank to repay this monthly at a decrease of £200 a month it was originally £700 so it's naturally coming down pretty quick so this can stay as it is then all I have to do is pay back the £500 credit card balance as quickly as possible then I'm all level you see I'm trying to do this without raising suspicion to the wife.

 

ryanm8655

I think you need to do a proper SOA to get a grip on your spending. Go through a few months bank statements and work out what you spend on what:
https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

I appreciate your rent isn't very much but your food bill is high for 2 people (does the other person not contribute?) and your income is very low, regardless of the gambling.

I can relate to your situation though, many years ago I ran out of credit and had a wedding coming up for which I needed to fork out for my hotel, suit etc. Felt obliged to pay for my girlfriend at the time as I didn't want her to know I was in debt (it was her brother's wedding). I was under a lot of stress at the time and just leapt into a consolidation loan to give me a bit of cash but also get all my debts in one place. It was a terrible decision and it only went down hill from there. Don't make the same mistakes I did.

You need to resolve the gambling issue and you need to get a handle on your budget otherwise things are going to spiral.

I don't mean this as a lecture, just look at my signature for where I ended up...