GAMBLING DEBT!

ry3

mr_stripey said:

ry3 said:

One way or another I'll get there!!!!!!!

That's a brilliant move mate, well done. How did it feel when you clicked to self exclude? 
This is probbaly the single most important thing you can do. I'd advise GA as well.
I am not a gambler, never really have been but I do have some people close to me who are (or were). One guy was spending tens of thousands on gambling - he said one night he even ignored his kids crying in bed as he was so focused on it. He thought he would never escape the cycle. GA saved his life and he now helps other people to quit gambling. 

It feels good mate to know I'm doing all I can to stop this!

Every time you feel having a bet you'll be denied access making you think why you haven't been granted access and the complications gambling can cause.

You have to start thinking more clearly and how gambling can make you feel and what it does to you mentally.

There's light at the end of the tunnel.........

mr_stripey

ry3 said:

mr_stripey said:

ry3 said:

One way or another I'll get there!!!!!!!

That's a brilliant move mate, well done. How did it feel when you clicked to self exclude? 
This is probbaly the single most important thing you can do. I'd advise GA as well.
I am not a gambler, never really have been but I do have some people close to me who are (or were). One guy was spending tens of thousands on gambling - he said one night he even ignored his kids crying in bed as he was so focused on it. He thought he would never escape the cycle. GA saved his life and he now helps other people to quit gambling. 

It feels good mate to know I'm doing all I can to stop this!

Every time you feel having a bet you'll be denied access making you think why you haven't been granted access and the complications gambling can cause.

You have to start thinking more clearly and how gambling can make you feel and what it does to you mentally.

There's light at the end of the tunnel.........

That's good mate. Stopping yourself from gambling is the most important thing. Turn the tap off so to speak.
The other short term cashflow problems can be sorted and at least you know they won't be getting any worse.
And if you get any emails from bookies "tempting" you then firstly ignore them but make sure to report it. It is criminal the way they target people. I would hope that once you've excluded that type of thing should dry up.

Gambling totally destroys lives. And you'll never win. A compulsive gambler never does in the long run. I think it was not so bad in the old days when it was old men gambling a few quid on the horses in a smoky bookmakers in the town; but now it's everywhere. I go to watch Leicester with my son (or did, at least pre pandemic!) and the amount of advertising in football is scandalous - it totally "normalises" gambling. He was only 10 and he was asking about putting a bet on! 

Good luck mate, keep us updated

plu

mr_stripey said:......

[deleted]
Gambling totally destroys lives. And you'll never win. A compulsive gambler never does in the long run. 

Indeed. Not sure if this is relevant but I can recommend "Addiction by Design: Machine Gambling in Las Vegas" by Natasha Dow Schüll. Fascinating and depressing in equal measure - how the gambling "industry" designs  its "products" to feed addiction.
The Quatloos webpage on casino gambling is perhaps a bit close for a gambling addict, but the concept of "Risk Compounding" is very well expressed. (TL;DR: if the house edge is 5% then after 100 spins You Cannot Win. The longer you bet the more you will lose and you can never win it back)
Good luck in your journey.

Naomim

Can you post an SOA so we can look? We may be able to help you shave a few £ off. In the short term, is there anything you can sell on ebay or FB? 

ry3

Naomim said:

Can you post an SOA so we can look? We may be able to help you shave a few £ off. In the short term, is there anything you can sell on ebay or FB? 

I did post something like an SOA earlier? And I'm trying hard not to tell the wife as she's already having a tough time me adding to things won't help in the slightest so selling things really isn't an option and besides this I'd feel low for having done this as I've worked hard to buy these items in the first place.

I have a 3 month payment break on my car loan and have setup a repayment plan for my overdraft to clear it within 4 months so that's all good.

For the temporary issue I'll have to re-think if there is someone who could lend me any money until the 31st still tempted on PayDay loan but these are the devil!!!!!!

Thanks for all the replies of help by the way mean a lot.

Naomim

Sorry Ry3 I was reading on my phone so must have missed a page. Apologies & well done for the steps you've already taken. 

Naomim 

IrishSean

randall6z said:

Gambling totally destroys lives. And you'll never win. A compulsive gambler never does in the long run. I think it was not so bad in the old days when it was old men gambling a few quid on the horses in a smoky bookmakers in the town; but now it's everywhere. I go to watch Leicester with my son (or did, at least pre pandemic!) and the amount of advertising in football is scandalous - it totally "normalises" gambling. He was only 10 and he was asking about putting a bet on! 

That's actually a valid point.

Before ads were shifted to post watershed my kids knew the straplines and theme tunes to every gambling ad.
My 8yo sometimes watches movies on freeview & asks about the casino ads; I just have to tell him the only way to win is never to play. It's pernicious though; my friends & father in law do the horses & I can see how the owners & trainers are working hand in glove with the bookies to screw punters (so many crazy results & outsiders winning). It's all about bookies making their profit margins back post lockdown. 

kimwp

It would be a good idea to have a plan for the next time you are in a similar situation e.g. climbing the walls and needing distraction. It could be a hobby, a plan to "do good" e.g. volunteering, a fitness target. Covid19 lockdown obviously made a lot of things harder to do, but it's ben possible to do a lot of good with the NHS volunteers, food banks and even signing online petitions. They might not have the initial thrill of gambling, but if you keep a track of how many hours or how much you are achieving, it could give you a long term satisfaction.

ry3

IrishSean said:

randall6z said:

Gambling totally destroys lives. And you'll never win. A compulsive gambler never does in the long run. I think it was not so bad in the old days when it was old men gambling a few quid on the horses in a smoky bookmakers in the town; but now it's everywhere. I go to watch Leicester with my son (or did, at least pre pandemic!) and the amount of advertising in football is scandalous - it totally "normalises" gambling. He was only 10 and he was asking about putting a bet on! 

That's actually a valid point.

Before ads were shifted to post watershed my kids knew the straplines and theme tunes to every gambling ad.
My 8yo sometimes watches movies on freeview & asks about the casino ads; I just have to tell him the only way to win is never to play. It's pernicious though; my friends & father in law do the horses & I can see how the owners & trainers are working hand in glove with the bookies to screw punters (so many crazy results & outsiders winning). It's all about bookies making their profit margins back post lockdown. 

Absolutely bang on, there is only 100% one winner and that's every single bookmaker/online casino, any form of gambling company they have a high turnover of profits living lavish life styles while people like me suffer. I started on this journey from seeing my father a heavy gambler  that's kind of all I saw of him and drinking in the pub not much of a role model hey? So like the old saying goes "like father like son" I despise the man for many things I won't write an essay on this mind! I have to find my own way of saying I'm free of this problem to be fair you know I don't sit with an urge to gamble it's only when I put myself into a silly state like I've betted a little more than I should have from the FUN aspect I panic and try get it back I never sit thinking I could do with a bet right now weeks and months go by without feeling need I only do it now and then as a FUN thing as I do have some general liking to horses especially the big meetings but obviously keeping it controlled and FUN but this isn't always the case that's why I'm here in this position so here's the UPDATE on me!!!!!

Firstly apologies for the rubbish spelling and grammar not my strong point.
My problem hasn't gone away or evened out it seems to be one thing after another it stems really from life at the minute so the wife says shall we go away I'm thinking not really in a position but she's down and fed up and we are due to have my nephew for a week shortly and here comes good old gambling me right if I just get a few good winners we will be fine to get away and the fact I'm not all square in my account is playing on my mind so I've just been paid and currently down to my last £200 not able to draw any more out otherwise that probably would have gone too!!! I've now some how managed to be accepted on a credit card so what does one do now? This is my current state of affairs 

£500 overdrawn this was £700 but in an agreement with the bank it will reduce at £200 a month until this has been cleared!
So as of the start of this month I should be sitting currently at +£650 this is how I should look prior to this stupid gambling!!!!!!
Now as I stated I have a Marbles Credit Card on the way balance of £1200 at a wopping 29.7%APR not the best but acceptance was high.

Now how does one rectify this mess? The first thing that needs to happen is entering a bookies as what's to stop me entering with the credit card? Well walking in and tell them directly to ban me from using this shop but then a bit further down there's another bookie and over the street there's another there everywhere!!!!! I've blocked all online access and my card can't be used in gambling but obviously you can take cash from the ATM and pay naturally.

To those that have had serious gambling problems with high spending how did you overcome this? Taking your mind of gambling like has already been suggested is KEY having a pass time/hobby well one of my favorite sports is back snooker in fact learning to play this was up there on my to do list I can play to a certain degree.

So my feelings at the moment are this £1200 limit on credit card can go into my current account to level this out cancel down completely of the over draft leaving me +£700? then work out the best plan in order to clear this my outgoings aren't very high £400 ish from a take home of £1050 although I can't be seen to have large amounts disappear  so a sensible amount each month to clear the credit card will be required £100 ish I reckon more if possible.

God damn you bookies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next phase is not to spiral, when I was posting earlier on I was in a better position and had a plan in place that didn't quite work out as planned as I mentioned through panic and worry of getting away I gambled again!! you see the wife thinks everything is okay and I should be +£ in the bank but I'm not.

I'm kind of ranting now, so sorry for this I think some people are just destined for failure and bad luck, my brother and sister are both flying in life and there's good old me the bad egg of the family!!!

Have a great day everyone thanks for reading about my troubles.
 

mr_stripey

@ry3 - well done for posting mate. I know it must seem like everything is against you at the moment. You're in the eye of the storm and it is hard to think straight. You're reverting back to the temptation of gambling but deep down you know this isn't the answer.
I wouldn't worry about what your account "should look like". If you're reducing your overdraft in chunks month on month then that is great progress.

Have you thought about contacting Gamblers Anonymous? My mate absolutely swears by it - saved his life he says.

Having hidden debt is a massive stress. I know from personal experience. Mine wasn't gambling related but I was piling up debts
because we weren't budgeting properly. My debts got bigger and bigger and then when the missus would suggest going somewhere or doing something I had to use the credit card to avoid the whole "we don't have any money" conversation.
It did come to a crunch and I had to tell her. It was very difficult, but we did get through it and now our situation is a million times better. It may be the time to tell her - only you will really know when you have to do it.

I was in a situation where I had tens of thousands of hidden debt. It was crushing me. On the face of it we had a nice life, I had support from friends and family but I couldn't tell anyone. If we had friends round, my wife would talk about our plans for a new kitchen and on the inside I was secretly dying knowing we couldn't afford it. In the end it was a random poster on a forum (not this one, but a football forum) who I reached out to for help and support. It was a relief to unload on someone who didn't know me!

My advice would be to open up and tell her if you can. It will be much easier to quit and stay quit from Gambling with her support. I appreciate it isn't any easy option though. 


Don't be too hard on yourself mate. Life isn't easy is it? Take care bud, and PM me if you need to vent or rant. I probably don't have the correct answers but I will listen!