Help, unauthorised teenage spending on credit card

Dr_Crypto · 6 July 2020 at 9:29PM

I can’t believe people are really saying to report your own son to the police!

Even more so if he’s ADHD.

Absolutely unbelievable.

bradders1983 · 6 July 2020 at 9:31PM

Dr_Crypto said:

I can’t believe people are really saying to report your own son to the police!
Even more so if he’s ADHD.
Absolutely unbelievable.

Is there a sliding scale of what a family member can get away with then?

Dr_Crypto · 6 July 2020 at 9:43PM

Yeah pretty much. I couldn’t see my parents reporting us to the police for anything except maybe if we’d physically harmed someone.

Certainly not over money.

yksi · 6 July 2020 at 11:20PM

Unpopular opinion: as a parent of a kid on the spectrum myself, hold him to the same standards as any other 16yo.

The world does not give a crap about his diagnosis. It will still expect him to behave honestly and with integrity and it won't be forgiving. The outside world will be vicious if he expects special treatment. That is the harsh reality of the world we live in. It is your job as a parent to prepare him for the outside world, not pamper him and let him off for theft and dishonesty merely because of a few letters after his name.

I don't see any point in involving the police, but I would sell his stuff and cut off all pocket money until it's repaid. Being on the spectrum does NOT mean he's unaware of right vs wrong and does not give him a free pass to be a jerk. Do you think the legal system would let him go with a pat on his head, if he were an 18yo who stole this money from a stranger? No. Treat this as a kid who knowingly stole from you, which is exactly what it is. You're the parent; you can't make decisions based on fear that he might kick off and misbehave more; if you don't act decisively you have taught him there are no repercussions and that stealing is free money.

LABMAN · 6 July 2020 at 11:32PM

sourcrates said:

Some rather strong replies you have had to this OP.
When my teenage daughter ran up a £500 bill on her mobile for in app purchases ( i was the bill payer) i simpley called the company concerned, told them she was 13, and that teenagers do stupid things, and they refunded the full amount immediatly.
Perhaps a more conciliatory approach is worth a shot before you report him to the Gestapo.

Who do you consider to be 'the Gestapo'?