Help, unauthorised teenage spending on credit card

MinuteNoodles

MalMonroe said:

"My son is on the spectrum ADHD/Asperger's".  I can't believe some of the awful answers on here

My son is autistic, he did similar with Microsoft points albeit only to a low amount. He got treated no differently than any other child should. If you start to excuse someone and not punishing them when they do wrong because they've got ASD then you're setting yourself and them up for a mountain of grief when they get older.

The credit card company is not likely to play ball as it is the card holders responsibility to keep it safe. They'll only play ball with unauthorised use if there's a crime number and you'll only get that from the police. The only people who may entertain giving the money back are the game company he bought the download content from.

happy_hazelnuts

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-53272411

Jami74

@Leon1971 You've had some harsh comments on this thread about your son and your parenting. It's hard being a parent, sometimes things go wrong. If someone had told you at some point in the past that this was a thing that might happen I'm sure you'd have taken steps to have prevented it one way or another. Not being able to see into the future doesn't make you a bad parent or your son a bad child. If it was me I'd be grovelling to the credit card company and appealing to the game.

I think sometimes kids don't quite understand that credit/debit cards are more than just a passkey to something that is wanted. There is a difference between knowingly stealing your hard earned cash and thinking he could type the number in like you do to unlock in-game extras. It's easier to follow rules if you understand why they are in place.

My kids have debit cards with their bank accounts (that can't go overdrawn) which Christmas and birthday money gets deposited into, then if they spend something they can see on the banking app that their money has gone. They are very aware they can only spend money once so think carefully about making a purchase. Would something like this make him understand better and less likely to 'borrow' your card again?

A_Lert

My 2 pence.

Double-check it was actually him making the purchases and that his account wasn't hacked. You would be prudent to get the card and card number stopped anyway.

First port of call is the game publishers. Explain the situation. They may refund the money. (If they do they'll probably also ban DS from the game). But it seems like especially if it's a large sum they may refuse. Or the game publisher and the app store might each say you should speak to the other.

If you get nowhere there, then contact the credit card provider informing them that the transactions were unauthorised. But considering it's a family member I reckon they won't do anything without police involvement. They may even get the police involved whether you like it or not.

macman

Without a crime number, your chance of a refund from your card provider is negligible, but you have nothing to lose by asking.

xlnc99

sourcrates said:

Some rather strong replies you have had to this OP.

When my teenage daughter ran up a £500 bill on her mobile for in app purchases ( i was the bill payer) i simpley called the company concerned, told them she was 13, and that teenagers do stupid things, and they refunded the full amount immediatly.

Perhaps a more conciliatory approach is worth a shot before you report him to the Gestapo.

most sensible answer

MovingForwards

Why are some of the comments harsh? Many off us surf the internet off our phones and if information isn't put in the original post, it may not appear until after someone has posted and then reads back through the other comments.

OP originally asked what they can do and was given options. They then decided to say about the kid being on the spectrum when the opinions didn't were not what they wanted.

My opinion stays the same, maybe it it is harsh, but the kid will learn.

phillw

If it's obvious from the statement who the skins were bought from, then I would contact them and just say there are transactions that you do not recognize & ask if they can be refunded. If the transactions aren't obvious you could google what comes on the statement to see if that turns up the company name, failing that phone your credit card company and say you don't recognize the transactions and ask if they can tell you the company.
You will have to decide how you answer if they ask if someone else in the house hold could have gotten hold of your card. It would have been better if the kid was denying it.

MEM62

MalMonroe said:

It's not his fault that your credit card was left lying around for him to use. 

On what basis are you assuming that the card was left lying around?  We had similar issues with my OH's son who also has Aspergers (or high functioning autism as is nor commonly known)  Anything valuable would have to be kept within arms length at all times or it would get stolen.  He would take money from purses and wallets - even stole from our cleaner's handbag - rummaged through his sister's bedroom to steal her debit card so he could spend it on Amazon, stole an iPhone and sold it on Facebook, the list goes on and on.  Having autism does nor mean that you do not know right from wrong.  

MalMonroe said:

You cannot possibly report this to the police, what an absolutely ridiculous suggestion! 

The lad was out of control and would not accept any punishment or sanction for his actions.  He would not engage in any conversation in respect of his actions.  (Even phoning Child Line and accusing me of making him sleep in the shed because I cut off his internet access)  We reported every theft and card fraud and disagree strongly with your opinion that people should repeatedly be the victims of crime and just accept it.          

MalMonroe said:

But really, it's your fault, isn't it?

Really?  You can say that and have affrontery to accuse others of 'awful answers'?     

redpete

Jami74 said:

@Leon1971 You've had some harsh comments on this thread about your son and your parenting.
...
I think sometimes kids don't quite understand that credit/debit cards are more than just a passkey to something that is wanted. There is a difference between knowingly stealing your hard earned cash and thinking he could type the number in like you do to unlock in-game extras. It's easier to follow rules if you understand why they are in place. 

It's the OP who wrote about his son "he clearly disrespects us as parents, and yes we've failed miserably that he has most things and he still needs to steal and be dishonest" so not really unreasonable for other posters to take the view that the son did understand what he was doing.